Damn Radio
Dean and Sam stopped for groceries on their way back to the Men of Letter's bunker, which Sam agrees to get on his own because Dean acts so much like a kid in a candy store when he buys food and ends up getting way too much pie for his own good. Dean reluctantly agrees because of Sam's condition after the trials, but he knows he owes Sam at least this small gesture because Sam isn't a baby anymore.
"You're still getting me some pie!" he calls after Sam gets out of the car.
And Dean is left alone with his thoughts, which really aren't the most pleasant things right now, especially with the feelings left behind by a certain angel (or maybe not) who he hasn't seen since the angels fell almost a week ago. Dean was ready to tear out his own heart with all the anxiety that eats at him when the thought of Castiel crosses his mind. He decides to flip through radio stations for a distraction. He sure as hell needed one. He stopped at a station that was playing Journey and sighed. "Lights" is a classic, though maybe Sam would make fun of him for it.
"…It's sad. There's been mornings out on the road without you, without your charms…"
Dean curses under his breath. Why did this song make him think of the damn angel again? He changes the station. Click.
"…because I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away…"
Hates this song anyway. Click.
"Everything's gone white and everything's gray. Now you're here, now you're away…"
Grunge sucks. Click.
"I can't fight this feeling any longer. What started out as friendship has grown stronger…"
Holy shit, not this song. Anything but this song. Click.
It was a country station, and Dean was ready to be distracted with thoughts of how much he hates it.
"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now…"
"Goddammit," Dean changes it yet again, trying to look for a classical station. With no luck.
"Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you…"
Dean sighs. He definitely likes the song, but it's too mushy, especially with Cas on his mind. The song seems to make Dean think more of Cas and that is something he doesn't want to deal with right now. Click.
He finally hears a nice guitar solo and leaves it on. Guns N' Roses has never betrayed him before…
"I know it's hard to keep an open heart, when even friends seem out to harm you. But if you could heal a broken heart, wouldn't time be out to charm you..."
…until now. Click.
"Oh my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch…"
Click. Anything from Ghost wasn't really on Dean's agenda.
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life. I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky, but why, why, why can't it be, can't it be mine…"
Click. Pearl Jam wasn't Dean's thing anyway.
"Every whisper of every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions, trying to keep an eye on you like a hurt, lost, and blinded fool, fool. Oh no, I've said too much, I've said enough. Consider this, consider this, the hint of the century. Consider this, the slip that brought me to my knees failed. What if all these fantasies come flailing around? Now I've said too much…"
Dean groans and shuts off the radio completely. It was unfair how the radio was messing with him. Maybe it was God. Dean was willing to believe anything at this point. This was no coincidence that he keeps turning on the radio to some sort of message from beyond the airwaves reminding him of Cas and his issues. It's something straight out of a cheesy movie and Dean feels like he could be in one.
Sam gets in no sooner and immediately turns up the radio, and begins humming along. It's another Guns N' Roses song, Dean notices, as he begins to get back on the road.
"If we could see tomorrow, what of your plans? No one can live in sorrow, ask all your friends. Times that you took in stride they're back in demand. I was the one who's washing blood off your hands. Don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby…don't you cry tonight, there's a heaven above you baby…"
Dean scowls and shuts it off.
"Whoa, what's up Dean?" Sam raises an eyebrow.
"Nothing, Samantha,"
Sam huffs but stays silent. He knows Dean is touchy right now and doesn't need to be pressed for answers. He just wished Dean was comfortable enough to talk to him about his feelings for Cas. Anyone could see it.
Dean's phone rings.
"Hello?" he says gruffly.
"Hello Dean,"
"Cas?" Dean looks at Sam. "What the hell—"
"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to worry you. Metatron took my grace—"
"You're human,"
Castiel sighed. "Yes, he also tried to take my memories. I did not remember until now. I apologize,"
"Where the hell are you?"
"At a gas station in Lebanon off the highway—"
"Sam and I are on our way,"
"Dean, you don't have to—"
"Of course I do. You're part of the family, Cas,"
"Thank you,"
"We'll figure everything else out, I'm glad you're okay,"
And just like that Cas was back in Dean's life. There were obviously some feelings that needed to be sorted out, that Dean needed to get out in the open, but there was a good chance he wouldn't. Either way, Dean was going to have to face it one or another. He had so many things to say…