A/N: Hey guys! Another Dramione one-shot. This takes place in the train that takes the students to Hogwarts. So yeah, enjoy!
Her watch had hit five past seven. It made her restless and she hoped they wouldn't notice her unusual behavior. She couldn't wait any longer. It was finally time. Hermione rose from her seat breathing in, hoping to calm her nervousness, but as she exhaled slowly, her body shook in her dismay. Gladly no one reacted.
"I think I seem to have misplaced my...thing. I'll be right back."
She waited for the two boys to nod without really paying much attention to what she said. As she walked out she couldn't resist looking over her shoulder at them to see if they were looking in her direction only to realize that they were distracted by the book Harry had taken from Slughorn's potions class. He had it all Christmas, reading it day and night. It seemed to become a frequent hobby of his. She nagged him about having the decency to at least return it; not that he would even listen to her.
She rolled her eyes and continued walking to the end of the hallway and into an empty train compartment. Hoping no one saw her, she checked the hall. She sat down nervously waiting for her expected companion. She needed to tell him now. She needed to get rid of him before anyone found out about them. Yeah, planned it all in her head. Yup, get in, get out. she wanted it to be quick, easy, and painless.
While her mind wandered thoughtlessly, a boy with platinum blonde hair peeked into the compartment and slowly walked in. She watched as he looked around outside making sure no one had seen him before closing the doors. Immediately, he turned around and smirked at her. Before she could protest, he walked towards her and grabbed her by the waist pressing his lips against hers roughly. With that kiss she felt his need and longing to be with her. She kissed back wrapping her arms around his neck as he roughly ran his hands through her bushy hair. Merlin, she missed him. Christmas was hell. Although she was happy to have the lovely Weasley's cheer her up, all she thought about was the boy who owned these lips. She melted into his kiss almost forgetting what her true intentions were by bringing him here in the first place, but she missed him so. She groaned as she remembered her true purpose. It took all her will power to push him away.
"What the bloody hell Granger? he frowned. Didn't think you'd push me away so quickly. We get through half a shag before you ask me to stop. Especially since we haven't seen each other in a month," he naughtily grinned at her leaning forward to continue, but she put her hands on his chest to cease the bad boy. He groaned.
"Stop it Draco," she said sadly but he didn't seem to mind her tone.
"I'm kidding love," he smiled. Draco kissed her on the cheek and sat down across from her as he watched her staring in silence. He looked into her eyes and she knew that was his way of trying to read her mind. He always tried to figure her out that way. She turned and stared out the window.
"What's wrong?" he arched an eyebrow.
She hesitated.
"I-I have to tell you something..."
"What?"
She couldn't get anything out. This was harder than she thought. It seemed so easy when she planned it all out in her head. Lots of things were easy for her. This-this was not easy. The O.W.L.S. were a piece of cake. This was a one-on-one battle with Voldemort.
"Granger, bloody hell, you're scaring me."
He snapped her out of her thoughts. A scowl formed on his perfectly framed face.
"Well, I-I-"
"Spit it out," he demanded.
"I can't do this anymore Draco!" she blurted out.
He just looked at her.
"Do what? Was I being too aggressive?" He rubbed her lip with his thumb.
She shook her head. Although he had brains he could be so bloody clueless about a situation sometimes.
Never did she think she would ever become Draco Malfoy's girlfriend of all people. Surprisingly, they seemed to set aside their differences and became friends. He apologized many times for his prejudice insults towards her when they were young that it got to the point where she would rather him call her a mudblood than apologize again. Someone once told her that people should be given a second chance. Especially him, whom was not at fault for he was brought up into a Pureblood family who loathed muggles and non-magical beings. Draco seemed to be happy that he was forgiven. They liked each other. It was so unexpected. The first time. When they were in the library studying, he initiated the whole thing. Their first kiss shared, eyes locked with one another, hands intertwined, and that's where it all began. He was quite caring of her as they got closer. He would do the smallest things to make her happy oblivious to how much it actually meant to her. That's what she loved about him. They wanted this to work out, but they didn t want anyone interfering so they both came into an agreement to keep it a secret. Especially from Harry and Ron. She loved her best friends but weren't fit to understand their relationship yet. She decided that when the timing was right she would tell them both.
No, stop it! she scolded herself in thought. She needed to stop thinking this way. Remembering all this was not helping her problem at all. This was making it harder. She shook her head to drive away her pleasant thoughts.
"No Draco, that's not what I meant," he looked at her in confusion not really quite understanding the current situation. That made it more difficult because it meant she had to explain it to him.
"I meant I can't keep 'us' up anymore. The sneaking around, the lying, the whole front. It's getting to me..." she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders as she revealed her aim but felt a ton more when she realized what was just said might have hurt him.
"What? You never cared before. Never had a problem with sneaking around."
"Quite the contrary, I was just good at hiding it."
"Clearly," he rolled his eyes. "Quit messing around Granger."
"I'm serious Malfoy!" she tried to sound cold, but it lacked all too much.
"What? You're serious? Why? What's going on?" he cupped his hand on her cheek but she turned her head refusing his touch. She quickly glanced at him but regretted it only to see hurt in his beautiful grey eyes.
"I really can't Draco." he didn't speak but she didn't like the uneasy silence so she decided to continue on.
"I'm quite tired really. Everyday we do this. It's taking a toll on me, having extra classes...being head girl, I-just so many responsibilities-"
"Uh, and I'm head boy, which you seem to have forgotten."
"I know, but that's not what I mea-"
"Stop it," he protested. "You're lying. Why are you lying to me?"
She gulped.
"Why are you doing this?" he wondered if someone had learned about them and had put her up to it.
"I'm sorry, I'm ju-I'm done." she couldn't look at him.
"Don't do this Granger!" He growled.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't you care about me? What about us?"
"I do. I do Draco more than you know! Actually I lo-"
What the hell was she thinking? Saying that would make this situation so much harder than it already is.
"Say it." Draco wanted to hear it.
She shook her head in disagreement.
"Well that's your bloody excuse then?" he spat. She heard anger in his voice. She quickly tried to gather more excuses in her head.
"I...I just can't handle lying to Harry and Ron anymore."
"Potter and Weaslebee? Who gives a crap about them? Since when did you actually start caring what they would think?" he ran his hand through his hair wondering why she was all of a sudden talking about them.
"Stop it! They're my best friends. They're important to me.."
"And I'm not?"
"No, you are!" she said painfully.
Why did he have to test their love like that? He knew it hurt her when he doubted this.
"Then? does it matter..?"
"I...just...can't Dra-Malfoy. I'm sorry."
"Dammit Granger don't do this..." he pleaded.
She put her forehead on his staring into those eyes so intently. She saw hurt in them. No, he was beyond hurt. No one cared for her like he truly has. Genuinely, she has as well. But, at what price? If her two best friends knew at all, she would lose them. Their best friend with the person they despise the most? She didn't want to end up choosing between them. But Harry and Ron were family to her. After she had obliviated her parents, they were all the family she had now. Was that really the reason? If she cared about what Harry and Ron would think she would have never started this in the first place. And she already knew Draco's family would never accept a mudblood. What would they think of him if they knew their only son cared for a Mudblood. She would surely ruin his good name. They had no future together and she knew it so much it broke her heart. She wanted to get out of it before she got hurt, mostly before she hurt him.
"Grang-"
"Goodbye Malfoy," she interrupted him.
"Hermione!"
"No! Don't call me that, please," she begged. He was making this harder, not that she knew he would just let this go. The moment she looked into his eyes, Hermione knew that it would be hard to get rid of him. The love he had for her was so strong it was scary. Thinking about it, she didn't seem to realize that her eyes were blurred from the tears threatening to fall out. She got up but he gripped her hand tightly. He struggled to keep her in that train compartment. Draco knew she wanted to get out. To get away from him. He asked once more for her not to leave him.
She looked at his eyes, those beautiful grey eyes that no one would ever carry with such pride and arrogance. The only thing she could do was smile which seemed to surprise him, under the circumstances they were in. She bent down and pecked his cheek before turning around and forcibly pulling her hand away from his. He heard her whisper something along the lines of loving him. Hermione left him in the private compartment by himself. The last thing he heard was the click of the door. He knew exactly why she was doing this. She thought she was protecting him. She was leaving him because she thought that they would never be able to have a future together. That no one would understand them. And who would? She thought too much of what other people would think. Him? He didn't give a damn. He knew she wanted to break this up as soon as possible. Before it got too deep. He knew her like the back of his hand. Knew her more than she knew herself. Though for this reason he wanted to respect her choices. He knew he wouldn't be able to persuade Hermione Granger. That didn't matter though. He would get her back. Fuck what people would think. Fuck Potter and Weasel. Fuck what his family thought. Fuck the pureblood tradition. Everything was her. Nothing else mattered, but he needed to give her time. Make her realize that she needed him. That he needed her. He was so angry he felt useless and all he could do was take his anger out on the wall beside him.
She jumped when she heard the thud but it only made her walk faster. Tears rolled down her cheeks but quickly wiped them away with her sleeve. They left as fast as they came. It was hard to make sure she looked as she did before going back into her original compartment. Again she breathed in. She opened the door and the two boys stopped their conversation and their eyes quickly fell on her. She hoped they didn't catch on and that the tears on her face were completely wiped off. Instead she smiled at them.
"Where'd you run off to 'mione?" Ron asked. He was really indifferent as to where she went but the three of them would ask each other this before when they had their little adventures, but now it was automatic.
"Oh nowhere, just to the loo," she said with confidence when she noticed none of them seem to have figured out she changed her story. Then again, she was thinking too much. She was too guilty.
She sat by the window next to Harry who was discussing about how they should have another practice run of quidditch before season started.
She didn't continue to listen to it. One thing she didn't want to understand and learn about was quidditch. She sighed and looked out the window The train passed by gloomy clouds which slowly drifted in the sky. It seemed to resemble how she felt. She wanted to get to Hogwarts as soon as possible, but now she actually dreaded attending this year. Ignoring Draco Malfoy in the hallways was a normal daily thing for her, but it was meant to be just an act. Now it would be different. Before it was just a front pretending he was still the prat who used to call her a mudblood, but now, he was the prat she loved. Finally she decided that this was a chapter in her life that she would move on from.
She felt the train stop. Relieved that they were there, she quickly gathered her things and watched Harry leave the compartment with Ron following behind him.
As she was about to walk out, she turned around to have a quick look at the room where the dreadful meeting occurred. Not surprised to see that it was empty and seemed so cold. For some reason she was disappointed hoping to see him one last time before they'd go back to becoming real enemies. She turned around and continued to follow the two boys. Little did she know Draco was examining her from the window of the room which she though was empty. A scowl formed on his face. He needed more time to himself. He stared for a few more moments before closing the windows shutter.
This is goodbye...they thought.
A/N: How was it? Review please? I'm practicing to see if I can commit to a chapter-ed story... :