A/N: This is a Green Day crack fic I wrote in 2010 (so long ago!) It's supposed to be silly and nothing more. ~
Billie was angry. Very angry. "Grr, I'm angry" said Billie. He went outside and buried himself in the ground. Only his head stuck out. Tre walked by and saw Billie's head.
"What's up Billie?" he asked.
"I'm an angry flower" said Billie.
"May I fertilize you?" asked Tre.
"NO!" shouted Billie.
Mike jumped out from behind a bush. "I'll fertilize you!" he said.
"NO NO NO!" Billie shouted.
"But then how will you hatch?" asked Mike.
"I'm a FLOWER, not an egg!" said Billie.
"I can't eat eggs because I'm lactose intolerant" Tre sniffled, a tear falling down his cheek.
"I only eat eggs if they have pepper on them" said Mike.
"I don't have a pepper, but I have a jalapeno!" Tre proclaimed. He placed the jalapeno nicely on Billie's puffy hair. Billie started to cry. "Why can't I grow petals!" he wailed.
Mike put on his reading glasses and sat on Billie's head. He pulled out a book and started reading. "Don't worry Billie" he said "I'll keep you warm until you hatch!" Billie sank a little deeper into the ground. "You're too heavy!" he screamed. Mike stood up. There was a squished jalapeno all over his pants.
"I need to be pollinated" said Billie.
"I need to be hugged" said Tre.
"I need to be feared" said Mike, as he pulled out a flame thrower and a jar of honey. Then, as Mike was laughing demonically, Billie sprouted a tiny petal on his nose.
"I'm so happy" he said as he cried tears of happiness.