A/N: SO HAII M BACK
I KNOW IM SUPER CRAZED ABOUT NARUTO
anyway so these are mini-prompt drabble… ficlets
things
yeah
so the list is as goes:
because uchihas never get jealous
because uchihas do not cuss
because uchihas do not wear pink
because uchihas do not strip
because uchihas do not crack!ship
because uchihas do not go to clubs
because uchihas do not flaunt abs in an ab contest (with girls)
because uchihas do not read bedtime stories
because uchihas…
fall in love.
ALSO THERE WILL BE TWO MINI CROSSOVERS WITH FAIRY TAIL AND SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN
GUESS WHICH CHAPTESR ARE THOSE CROSSOVERS
if you squint really hard you'll probably get the references
OKAY FIRST PROMPT
GO
XXX
because uchihas never get jealous
"Oi! Teme, you bastard! We have a Level One, code-red alert!"
Sasuke did nothing but roll over. Damn dead-last. The Uchiha buried himself deeper in the warm, dark depths of his black sheets and comforter. Hearing the stupid voice call his name again, he pulled a pillow over his head and groaned.
He wasn't sure what was more disturbing. The fact that the dobe either found a way to get into his house uninvited or that he was hearing his damn voice in his dreams.
Either way, it was a vaguely (read, very) disturbing fact.
"SASUKEEEEEE-"
Naruto ripped off the covers of the bed, and Sasuke snarled, eyes wide with hatred as he lunged at the blonde.
"Ack!" Naruto shrieked, dancing around the room, avoiding the murderous Uchiha's grasp, "Put some clothes on, 'ttebayo!"
Sasuke took a moment to glance down at himself. Then at Naruto (even after the Fourth Great Shinobi War, he still wore the horrendous orange and black jacket and pants. The black cloth of his hitai-ate had worn out long ago, and so Hinata had to sew him another one with brown cloth). Oh, yeah. A pair of sweatpants wouldn't constitute as proper clothing, after all.
"Dobe," he hissed, glaring at Naruto. He snatched a shirt thrown over his dresser, and pulled it over. Running a hand through his black locks, he growled. So much for a peaceful day off.
"Yo."
Perched on the windowsill, Kakashi lazily raised his hand. The jounin had changed only marginally since the ending of the war. He was still clad in this Konoha flak jacket, the black pants, and his hitai-ate pulled over one eye and the ever-present, raunchy porn book in his left hand. But after seeing Obito and letting his regrets go, he didn't have quite as a heavy air around him.
"Kakashi," Sasuke grunted simply, eyeing the Copy nin with a dead stare.
Kakashi shuddered. Why are they not kawaii anymore? It's not fair… Naruto's got the entire Hokage-gig blowing up his ego, Sakura is scary as hell, and Sasuke… his laughter makes babies cry and his stare makes the polar ice-caps melt.
Naruto translated the stare as: what-the-hell-are-you-doing-in-my-place-and-what-the-hell-is-going on.
Kakashi, picking up on the lead quickly, replied, "Sakura has a boyfriend."
And then Satan crawled out of hell; with demons rising from behind Sasuke and the skies darkened flashing blood-red lightning and black eyes bled into the swirling red of the Mangekyou Sharingan promising a million Tsukuyomis and death.
The next words uttered from Sasuke's mouth positively seethed with enough venom to make Sasori jealous and burned blacker and darker and hotter than Amaterasu.
(Kakashi pitied the poor man on the receiving end of Sasuke's wrath. Even Naruto hadn't yet experienced the full power of the Uchiha's hatred. Not even Sasuke's dissolved hatred for Itachi could match with this burning hatred.)
"What."
XXX
"Dobe, move over!"
"Ey, Teme, it's your fatass that's taking up all the space!"
Kakashi would've facepalmed if he weren't sandwiched between the two argumentative boys. He was completely and utterly unamused.
It was a wonder how two of the most powerful shinobis in the world, for all of their powerful ninjutsu and crap, absolutely sucked at stealth. Like, seriously. What kind of Hokage couldn't even spy on his best female friend stealthily? And what kind of avenger couldn't even stay quiet?
He was seriously wondering if he should retire. He'd ask Tsunade about that later.
Back to reality (his reality sucked balls. Serious balls.)
After departing Sasuke's house, the boys had not-so-subtly stalked Sakura (wearing a black and floral sundress. What the hell and where the hell did she get it? was on all of their minds) to Training Grounds 3. And like the intelligent shinobi they were, in a moment of panic in which Sakura could've seen them, Sasuke shoved their sorry asses up a tree. They were now crouching in said tree, all uncomfortably squished together in their impromptu hiding-spot. As a very well trained kunoichi, any movement and Sakura would be able to notice them. So Kakashi failed to see how loud whispering wouldn't attract her attention.
If anything, Sasuke felt a little scandalized. The boy grumbled something very very very rude under his breath about Naruto, minutely shifting his awkward crouching position from between Kakashi and Naruto. The tree was small with only one bough big enough to handle their combined weights, and said branch was rather short but thick which inevitably lead to the invasion of his personal space. That was his most hated kind of invasion.
But he figured Naruto and Kakashi might've had it worse. Naruto was clearly scandalized that Sakura was bringing someone to their special place (apparently Training Grounds 3 and Ichiraku's were officially Team 7's 'territory'). And Kakashi looked a little more than mildly disturbed as the girl he considered his daughter might be getting it down and dirty right on the sacred soil that held a few of their most precious memories.
"Neji-kun!" Sakura's voice carried across the open land. Her dress swished around her knees and- what the actual hell she was wearing heels?- her hair was slightly curly for whatever reason. Clutched in her hands was a wicker basket, presumably with food in it. A plaid patch of cloth covered the food.
Sasuke was torn- he wanted to drink in her figure (damn, she looked really good) and plotting Neji's murder. Both were fairly tempting. Death by asphyxiation or death by dismemberment?
Naruto appeared to be thinking the same thing. His face was a violent shade of red and his stony expression suggested he was mentally tearing apart the Hyuuga. Kakashi's eye twitched as well as his fingers, as if longing to summon Raikiri and blast that little pansy crossdresser to hell.
"Sakura-san," Neji greeted. Not coldly- was that affection in his voice? He was dressed as he usually was, in his loose clothing and his long girly hair pulled back in its loose ponytail. His pearly gaze was fixed on the wicker basket.
Then he did something no one accounted for.
He shifted on his feet, averting his gaze and clearing his throat awkwardly. Was he nervous? Sasuke growled. He was going to make a move on hi- (no, he would cut out the thought) a move on Sakura. Just. Sakura.
"Did you- uh, make the onigiri the way Tenten likes it? And the fried udon and tempura and the miso soup with extra seaweed?" His hands were fisted at his sides, and he whispered the words awkwardly.
oh.
Oh.
OH.
The boys of Team 7 subsided in their rage. Kakashi nodded approvingly, because hey, the only boy he'd let Sakura date without any preliminary death threats was, well… no one. He was glad he wouldn't have to rough up the Hyuuga and possibly start some serious drama. Naruto looked slightly disappointed at not being able to bash in some snobby Hyuuga heads, but Sasuke was fine. He smirked to himself, crossing his arms smugly. Hah, he just knew that Sakura was his- uh, Team 7's. Yeah.
So, apparently, the other emotionally constipated block of ice (it was easy to say that the trait of 'ice-block prick' was a genetic trait in the two dojutsu-using families in Konoha) was attempting to woo Tenten and Sakura wanted to lend a hand. That was nice of her (and typical Sakura, too. Sasuke snorted. She was such a sap for romance).
"Of course!" she chirped, green eyes dancing. She handed over the wicker basket, and twirled around. "You and Tenten are so adorable together!"
The Hyuuga looked like he was about to go through cardiac arrest.
"And now, I get to take care of my damn possessive teammates stalking me from the tree!" She looked positively- well, positive. Cheerfully, she skipped over to the tree the boys were hiding in. Hidden deep in the green depths of her eyes, there lay a demonic murderous fire burning into their souls. She bared her teeth in a sickly-sweet smile promising death-by-many-things.
Naruto shrieked like a little girl, falling out of the tree outright. Kakashi made a strangled-off choking noise before poofing away, and well, as for Sasuke?
Before he could do anything, Sakura jumped up, grabbed him by the collar and yanked him down, throwing him into the ground. She was dwarfed by his size, but her strength didn't stop her from creating a sizable crater in the ground.
Sasuke was so whipped.