For Forever
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Quest XI!
Notes: I know the Luminary has no canon name, so my name for him here is the name I use when I play. Lucien is my Luminary.
Warnings: OC as avatar, OCxcanon, yaoi, cursing, all my usual warnings
This is dedicated to my husband, with whom I share a particular OTP. He has encouraged me to embrace this in all art forms, so. This one goes out to you, dear. It's odd to ship our favorite characters as a couple, but I've come to completely embrace it. I hope I'm able to do the relationship justice.
Massive story spoilers. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
FIC START!
-Part One-
The moon hung amid the clouds when the Luminary Lucien stopped by Heliodor for what seemed like the millionth time on his journey. The party gathered several rare items requested by the townsfolk over days of adventuring and battling monsters across the world. Each party member took a treasure to someone and brought back the rewards to the inn. Lucien and his party of gathered companions sat around a table full of food to have a break. Everyone was more than worn out from being on the go constantly.
"We've been at this for a week, at least," Veronica said, her attitude on full display as she took her seat. She was the last one to sit down, and everyone present began to eat the moment she was there. "When are we going to do something for us instead?"
"Veronica," Serena scolded her sister as she shook her head with disapproval. "You shouldn't be so selfish. The fact that we've been able to go on this journey at all has been a gift in and of itself when you think about it."
"I suppose it's better than going back Arboria and being showered with constant praise for assisting the Luminary on his journey while I'm trying to continue with my magical studies," Veronica muttered, rolling her eyes. She reached up to pick up her fork and shove it into the slab of meat on her plate.
"I apologize on my outspoken sister's behalf," Serena said tiredly to everyone else, bowing her head politely.
Most of the party just let out a knowing sigh. They'd been questing with the sisters so long that this banter between them was nothing new and was almost expected by now. Lucien couldn't help thinking about events in the past. He ate slower than everyone else, not paying much attention to the conversation going on around him. How, with Hendrik's help, they were able to find each party member that had joined him on the quest to reach the World Tree. How each member of the team came to terms with things, and Serena encouraging everyone to return to Arboria, because she was convinced that Veronica was there. Lucien closed his eyes for a moment. As Veronica was laughing loudly here, teasing Erik about his manners, and everyone else joining in the way they always had before, he was on the verge of tears as he remembered the sight of her body lying against the tree in the Garden of Repose.
"Darling?" came Sylvando's voice from across the table, snapping the Luminary from his vision. "Oh, honey, are you okay?" Lucien noticed quickly that everyone around the table was looking at him with concern. He only nodded to assure them he was fine, but the circus performer was not entirely convinced. "You know that the little dear is only teasing. She doesn't really mean the things she says, right?"
"No one takes her taunting seriously," Jade added. "You know you shouldn't either."
Lucien nodded again. He knew she didn't mean to be so abrasive, and he told them so. She was simply headstrong and determined, which was not inherently a bad thing. He smiled as he stood up from the table. He told everyone he was ready to go to bed, even though he had barely eaten anything. He pushed in his chair quickly, heading to the room of the inn where he knew Erik would be joining him for the night in a bit. They had stayed here so many times that they didn't even have to discuss the sleeping arrangements. He locked the door behind him, sitting on the bed, and finally couldn't hold the tears back any more. He couldn't get the visions out of his head no matter how much fun they shared traveling the countryside as one big makeshift family. He buried his face in his hands, crying with all the force in his body.
The party had gathered all around the other side of the door almost immediately, hearing the desperate sobs through the walls. All were worried over their party leader.
"What could have the laddie like this?" Rab asked, running his fingers through his fluffy white mustache as he was thinking.
"He always puts on a calm face, but we never know what's going through his mind," Erik thought aloud, leaning up against the wall.
"The poor dear has been through a lot," Sylvando added. "Perhaps we should leave him with his feelings. Just trying to instantly make it go away is not the proper way to bring smiles back to anyone's face." He pursed his lips as he thought about it, remembering how after he ran away from home, all he did was cry until he picked himself up out of his depression and did his best to keep his word to his beloved Papi. He remembered how a few of the circus members tried to force him to be happy, and all it did was make him that much more guilty. He closed his eyes, thinking about that moment when he resolved to do things on his own to become the Knight in Smiling Armor. He knew more than anyone that smiles could not be forced. They had to be genuine.
"We just need to make sure that we are all open-hearted when Lucien is ready to talk," Serena said. "Come on, sister. I believe we should retire for the night."
"Standing here in the hallway won't do anything aside from make it harder for other inn patrons to move around," Veronica agreed. Together they wandered over to the small room reserved for them and closed the door gently behind them.
Jade tapped Sylvando on the shoulder as Rab headed down to the room across from where the twins were staying. "You know, you're far more insightful than I gave you credit for, Sylvando. I immediately thought you would be breaking in there and trying to tickle him with your feathers or something."
"Oh, honey," Sylvando giggled. "Don't tempt me. As much as I love a good tickle, that's not what he needs right now."
"Fair enough," Jade spun around, heading back to the room she shared with Rab.
Erik closed his eyes as he leaned on that wall. Lucien was still crying. The Luminary had grown into being his best friend over the course of their journey, and he had no idea how to fix any of this. It ached in the core of his heart. He slid down the wall, hugging his knees to his chest.
"Erik, sweetie, if you want, you can room with me," Sylvando offered. "You don't have to sit there on the floor like that."
"I'll be fine," Erik answered. "I'll wait until Lucien is ready, and when he is, I'll be right here to talk to him. Whatever it is... as much as he's helped me with everything, I feel as if I need to help him, too."
"Such a good friend you are," Sylvando let out an enthusiastic squeal and clapped his hands. "Oh, all right. If you put it that way. I'll leave the door unlocked and you're more than welcome to come and get me if you need me." He turned to leave the thief there alone. Part of him wanted to stay there and help just the same, but he understood that those two were closer than he was with either of them. It wouldn't have been right to interject himself between them. He made his way to his room and sat on his bed, thinking about all sorts of things. He pulled his glamorous feathers off, laying them off on a nightstand so they wouldn't get crushed under his weight while sleeping. As he started to slide off his tights, he noticed some activity going on down below his inn room's window. He went over to it, noticing a few men in Heliodorian armor standing in front of the great Sir Hendrik. As if they were in some sort of opposition? Sylvando reached to creak the door open just a tiny bit.
"Sir Hendrik," one of the knights said loudly, putting his hands up. "You can't expect us to let you do this."
"We should not honor a traitor," another grunted.
"Sir Jasper... oh what am I doing, using that title for him?" The third said, frustrated at himself. "He doesn't deserve anything. Not a memorial, not a-"
The mighty Hendrik pushed through them all with his free hand, his long lavender hair flowing behind him as his three knights watched as he went on. Sylvando remembered very clearly those two orphan boys that had been sent to Puerto Valor to train under his papi, Don Rodrigo. What happened at the World Tree couldn't have been forseen by anyone. Jasper, respected as one of the twin eagles of Helidodor, had consorted with the Dark One. He found it incredibly hard to believe that someone like Jasper would turn against everyone like that. Hendrik was an honorable child and that never changed, and Sylvando could never see that changing at all. He watched Hendrik walk along an alley alone, and then looked up at the sky, where the full moon was shining above. At one point, all three of them had made an oath to each other under the moon light. He decided to pull his tights back up his legs. If he wasn't going to be able to help out the Luminary with his troubles, at least he could help his childhood classmate with his. That man was in desperate need of a smile.
Hendrik stopped in the middle of a darkened alley, turning into a place that was nothing but shadows. The knights on watch in this area stayed far from him. He radiated an aura that told everyone that stood close to him that he wished to be alone. After walking through shadows for a while, he came to a tiny little garden with a blank gravestone that seemed more silver than gray in the moonlight. King Carnelian did not wish to honor Japser with even a name upon the grave, but Hendrik could not let the memory of his childhood best friend fade away. They had shared everything together, from their schoolings to their meals, to their punishments when they had their few childish mischeveous moments. He pulled out a few flowers the shame bright shade as Jasper's blonde hair and placed them in front of the gravestone. He kneeled before it, taking in a deep breath. As he wondered what could have driven the man that inspired him to be the best he could be, the light of the moon that fell upon the grave was blocked out by a shadow.
"If you are here to scold me, I will not hear of it," Hendrik growled, not moving from his spot. "You will leave me."
"Heavens no, sweetie, I would never think of doing that," came the cheerful voice of Sylvando behind him. "Even if the rest of the world will forget him, you should remember your amigo, no? Mourning is healthy."
When Hendrik turned his head, he found Sylvando bowing before the grave with him. "Why would you say..." He found this behavior more than puzzling. "Jasper followed you all, tried to kill the Luminary. Why-"
"I had immense respect for him, all things considered," Sylvando answered, putting aside his flamboyant manner of speech suddenly. He pulled out a rose and laid it there before the grave just as Hendrik had with his flowers. "Just as I do for you." The knight noticed how his voice had changed. "It's hard to believe that circumstances can pull two people so far apart."
"Do I... know you?" Hendrik asked. The man was certain that he had heard this voice before, years ago. It was odd, how familiar the voice was when he stopped using those strange speech patterns picked up from those always on the stage.
"If you do not, then perhaps I should be on my way and allow you to grieve," Sylvando answered. He bowed his head before the grave. "I will not forget him either, if that makes it any easier for you."
"When the subject has wounded you with powerful black magics, I imagine it would be incredibly difficult for you to forget him," Hendrik answered.
"Mmm, true. There was plenty of pain to go around at Jasper's hand, and not just for me," the entertainer said, standing back up. "Even so, you grieve."
"He... he was not always... heartless."
Sylvando turned away from the faceless grave. "No one said he was," he replied quietly. "Certainly not me." He wondered how his father would take the news, hearing that one of the best students to come from his training - one of the few ever named as a prodigy by Don Rodrigo himself - had become so enamored with evil. This young man showed immense talent with a weapon, but he was incredibly studious, always searching for more knowledge in textbooks. It was impossible to pry Jasper away from the Puerto Valor library on days where there was no weapon training. "Buenas noches, sweetie~" With a quick movement, it seemed as if Sylvando had completely vanished.
Hendrik stood up, reaching into his pocket to retrieve the shield-shaped pendant. He hestitated before he eventually placed it there on the gravestone. "I cannot carry your crest, Japser. It weighs too heavily upon me," he said. "But know this. I will carry the burden of defending kingdom and crown for the both of us. I make this promise to you. The same way I believe you would do for me, would I have taken your path." Even though tears began to burn his eyes, he could not allow them to fall. How his heart ached. Hendrik, since his childhood days, had always been accompanied by Japser. They shared every aspect of their lives. They really were the Twin Headed Eagle on the Heliodorian crest. He turned away from the grave. "Goodbye, my friend." As he walked away, he mouthed a few words that be could not bear to have anyone hear.
I loved you, Jasper.
Erik had waited there so long he had fallen asleep in the corner of the hall right next to the room the Luminary had locked himself in. Eventually, when he heard the clicks of the door, he brought himself to an unable stand. Lucien opened the door, and apologized for having shut the thief out like that.
"No," Erik said, shaking his head. "I didn't take it that way. But everyone else in the team, they were really worried."
Lucien nodded as he went back to his bed. It seemed as if he hadn't slept at all. He motioned for Erik to take the other bed. He didn't mean to keep his friend from getting any sleep. That wasn't nice to do.
"Do you... want to talk about it?"
The Luminary forced himself to yawn. Clearly, he did not want to talk about it at all. The hero had all ready pulled a blanket around him the same way he had ever since he was a child living back in Cobblestone. Erik took the sign, allowing himself to yawn just as loudly, and he promptly fell asleep simply out of exhaustion. When Lucien heard the snoring of Erik, he sat back up. He didn't want to bother Erik's sleep, so he carefully crept out of their room and began to head down the stairs. There always was someone up this late in Heliodor's center square. Maybe he should take another quest. Yet another one. Fulfill another request, keep moving, keep battling, anything to keep him from seeing visions, from hearing the desperate cries of his party members as they saw Veronica's final struggles to keep them all alive...
As he started to open the front door of the inn, Sylvando stood there, with his hands on his hips.
"And just where are you going, honey?" Sylvando asked. "A hero like you needs his beauty sleep!"
Lucien only averted his gaze, determined to go regardless.
"...I don't want to pry, but you need to talk to someone about whatever it is you have trapped in that pretty little head of yours. I don't want you hurting yourself. I've seen enough of it to last a lifetime."
The Luminary instead turned around and headed back up stairs quickly. Sylvando followed him, of course. He went back to knock on Rab's door to ask for some help. After exchanging a few lines, Rab came to his grandson's beside and chanted a few words, causing him to slip into a deep sleep.
"I apologize about that," Sylvando whispered.
"No, laddie. I've had to use me magic like this before a few times on a certain wee lassie a time or two. Think nothin' of it," Rab replied just as quietly as he headed back to bed. "If anything, I hope he get some respite... the weight of the world is not an easy carry. We've all seen as much as he has on this journey. It's almost amazin' that we aren't lost in our pain as he is, now isn't it?"
"Mmm," Sylvando agreed as he went his way back to his room. The full moon still hung overhead, and he couldn't get any of what happened tonight out of his mind. Seeing both Hendrik and Lucien fight with their inner demons in silence like that was unbearable. They were both much more beautiful and better suited for taking care of their tasks when they wore genuine smiles on their faces. He began to slide his tights off slowly, staring up at the moon above. Even if they were able to sleep, through magic or just sheer determination, Sylvando did not believe he would be getting any sleep that night.