A.N.-So, I actually started this awhile ago, but never really finished it until a few weeks ago. Then, I spent that time periodically wanting to read and re-read for mistakes and forgetting all about it. Anyway, this was mostly written while I was...how should I put this... hormonally amped... so the story might be a little fluffier than how it would normally be in the show. This is my first Archer fic btws, so besides the fluffiness, I hope that I got everyone in as character as possible as well as trying to match the show's humor (but who can really replicate that?). As for E.Z.'s full name, that was something that I came up with. I looked around the interwebs to see if his real full name was out there but couldn't find anything so I made one up. I think it fits and sounds both backwoods and sexy at the same time. I also had a lot of fun reading this in my head with Michael Rooker's sexy-ass rasp of a voice. And now I'm just babbling. Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment.
Capezios
"Well, well, weelll. Look who it is? Ray Gillit. My, my, back in The Holler twice in the same year? You planning on moving back here?" Sheriff E.Z. Ponder slapped Gillette on his back a little too hard.
"Weelll, I had an assignment in Georgia and figured that since I'm in the neighborhood…." Gillette turned in the cracked swivel bar seat to meet the gaze of the Sheriff.
"You know Georgia and West Virginia are no where near each other, right?"
"I know," Gillette sighed and took a sip from a very colorful cocktail. "It made more sense in my head…"
"Well what brings you here? Come to visit your brother?"
"Actually, I was thinking of doing some shoe shopping." Ray cocked an eyebrow, hoping he hadn't miss-read the Sheriff's signal last time he and Archer had been there.
"We don't have much shopping to boast of here, but I might be able to help you out." E.Z. stepped back giving Ray the signal to stand and follow him out of the local bar. "You still into Capezios?"
Ray smiled and stood, adjusting his suit coat. "I'm always into the classics."
The drive over to E.Z.'s house was uncomfortably quiet as Ray still wasn't totally sure about the other man. He did pick on him a bunch in high school. Yeah, he apologized, but for all Ray knew, this could be an elaborate prank to catch him in an uncompromising position in front of everybody he grew up with. The first few minutes in E.Z.'s modest home didn't help matters.
"So tell me," E.Z. started while flicking on a few lights and tossing his hat onto the nearest flat surface. "Are you really a spy for the government?"
"Not for the government… It's more of a free contract kind of thing." Ray shifted in the doorway, not sure what his next move should be. "We've worked with the government before but I think it's privately owned or some such crap."
"That's mighty impressive for someone who managed to escape from our little Ferlin." He smiled and walked towards the kitchen. "I'm not gonna bite, you can come in. Whatcha drinking?"
"Oh, I've had enough tonight, thank you." Ray took a few more steps in, careful to keep his agent guard up in the event that this was a set up.
E.Z. poured himself a whisky and made his way over to the sitting room area that Ray was occupying. "So, did you really come all the way down here from the Big City to get some shoes?" He took a sip and a few steps closer to Ray.
"I don't know," Ray said as casual as possible, "do you really have Capezios?"
"Never have, never will." He smiled and stepped in enough to close the space between the two men. "But that don't mean I don't like to dance."
Ray's knees went weak. That last sentence, the way it came out of E.Z.'s mouth. Slow, gruff, and in that drawl that brought him right back to his teenaged years. E.Z. Ponder certainly was a 'dick' in high school, but that didn't mean he was an unattractive dick. He was still handsome now, in a kind of rugged way. Ray decided to go for it, even if it was some sort of stupid prank, he could at least have this. And hell, if it got too hairy, he could just shoot them all. He took a deep breath, and leaned in for the kill.
Much to Ray's shock and relief, E.Z. actually met his lips and locked in. When they pulled apart after the first, brief kiss, E.Z. chuckled and began to loosen his tie.
"Wow, Ray! I didn't think you'd do it."
"Me?! I didn't think you'd do it!"
"Howdoya mean?" He completely removed his tie and started on the top buttons of his sheriff's uniform.
"You were the most macho guy in school! You had all the prettiest girls on your arm at all times! And don't think I didn't hear them talking about your 'experience' in Drama class!"
"Well then," He started to undo the top button on Ray's shirt "I suppose you already know what you're in for then."
"But how? E.Z. you don't exactly come off as…"
"As what?" He stopped as his tone darkened slightly.
"As…well…gay?" Ray gulped, fearing that he might have done something wrong. He had years of covert ops training under his belt, but E.Z. could still frighten the shit out of him.
"Who says I am?" He continued to undo Ray's shirt until it was all the way open, exposing his chest. "I just know what I like… and you…" He drew his hand up and down Ray's torso before drawing himself closer, "…I've always liked." He pulled Ray in for a harder kiss, one that Ray was totally open to.
Clothes began to fly as they stumbled towards E.Z.'s bedroom. The now almost nude, sheriff sat on the side of his bed and positioned Ray in front of him as he began to undo his belt.
"E.Z…." Ray breathed out as the belt was pulled from the loops.
"You know, you can call me Ezra." He said as he undid the button on Ray's pants and tugged on the zip. "Or Zane, I don't mind either, really." He let Ray's pants drop and began to kiss the skin just above the waistband of his black boxer briefs.
"Ezra…" Ray could only gasp in whispers at this point. He was already so out of breath. Who knew screwing your former high school bully could be soo hot?
Ray kicked off his shoes and shimmied out of his pant legs as he leaned forward, pushing Ezra flat onto the bed. He attached himself to the Sheriff's scruffy face once again as he began to grind against him.
Ezra cradled the back of Ray's head and held him more gently than he would've guessed. Those bitches in Drama class sure didn't lie, Ezra Zane Ponder had a way of making you feel like the only girl in the world.
"Hold on." Ezra pulled away, shaking Ray out of his sex-soaked thoughts.
"What?" Ray panted, as Ezra gently pushed him off and rolled him onto the bed.
"We're over-dressed." Ezra smirked as he kneeled over Ray and pulled off his boxers.
Ray's stomach dropped as his black underwear came off, his last protection in case the worst should happen. He knew there was no turning back now, but he shuddered to think of what would happen if a camera flash went off. The last of his doubts vanished as Ezra pulled his own cotton boxers off revealing an erection just as ready and willing as his own.
Ezra noticed him staring and cocked an eyebrow. "Did the girls lie?"
Ray looked away, blushing at being caught peeping. "Ah, no. No, they did not."
He let out a hearty laugh before leaning down to kiss Ray on the corner of his mouth. "Good."
Ray sighed like one or all of the schoolgirls as Ezra opened the drawer to his nightstand and pulled out a tube of lube and a condom. "You don't mind if I do the honors now do ya?"
Ray could only nod his head in the affirmative, words lost to his raw urge at this particular moment.
"Facin', doggy, or something more fancy?" Ezra asked as he slid on his condom.
"Uh…ba…well…um…" Ray was still at a loss for words, Ezra and sex being the only two thoughts he could keep in his mind.
"If you don't mind me choosin'…" Ezra slowly crawled onto the bed spreading Ray's legs as he did so. "…I'd like to keep lookin' into that handsome face."
Ray let out a verbal sigh that was a little higher pitched than it should have been and may even have fallen on the side of a squeak.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Ezra looked almost fiendish as he lowered his hand to Ray's bleached anus brushed his thumb over the tight opening.
Ray nodded and leaned his head back into the pillow, perfectly content at this moment to just let Ezra do all the work, as he was soo good at it.
Ezra squeezed a dollop of sweet smelling lube onto his fingers and began to slowly work at Ray's backside. He used his free hand to rub slow, gentle circles on the center of Ray's stomach. He leaned forward to kiss his chest and move his hand up and down his heaving torso.
"You seem excited, Ray." He whispered devilishly as his hand moved its way down to his hips and gently pinched the skin above his pelvis.
"Hee…eeehhhhh… a-a little…"
"We should do something about that." He inserted another finger and Ray let out a gasp.
Ray was losing a battle of willpower as he fought the urge to start humping the air. He should've pegged Ezra for a tease, but honestly this whole night had been a pleasant surprise that he had gambled on. He was brought crashing down to reality again, when Ezra pulled his fingers out.
"You ready, Ray?" He placed his hands on either side of Ray's shoulders and lowered himself to where he was inches above him.
"Since first call." He managed to sound as in control as he could.
Ezra pulled himself back to where he was kneeling between Ray's legs. He placed a calloused hand underneath each of Ray's knees and gently lifted his lower half off the bed. He gradually brought himself forward to where the tip of his erection was at Ray's ass, then slowly slid himself in. He grunted in his husky voice that caused Ray to moan louder than he wanted.
"Am I hurtin' you?" he stopped.
"No! Oh God, no… I just…still can't believe…this is happening…" Ray's labored breaths became harder as Ezra had continued to move in and out.
"Good, I'd like to think you'd be a little tougher than that, Mr. Spy." Ezra cupped Ray's cheek before leaning down to steal another long, drawn out kiss. Ray ran his fingers through Ezra's brown hair as the other man began to thrust faster and faster.
Suddenly Ray flinched and drew in a sharp breath. That damn wound on his back would still twinge from time to time if he moved his muscles just weird enough. Ezra pulled back and stopped his motions once again.
"Did I hurt you?" Ezra panted out, while wiping the sweat from his brow.
"No," Ray grunted as he tried to move around a little to un-tweak his back. "I got shot on the job almost awhile back and it still gets a little finicky."
"Shoot. I'm sorry, Ray." Ezra pulled out and began to catch his breath.
"No, No! No, we're still doing this!" Ray had come too far to let this stupid injury stop him now. "What if you sit down and…"
"I see. No worries." Ezra cut him off and moved to a seated position with his legs half bent in front of him.
Ray sighed in relief as he wiggled onto Ezra's lap and crossed his legs behind his back. Ezra slung an arm over Ray's shoulder while he used his other hand to position himself at the entrance for the second time.
"This better?" Ezra grunted as he slid himself fully into Ray.
"Heaps." Ray's eyes glued shut in pure pleasure as he started to move up, down, and around Ezra's cock.
He held in a smile when he forced a moan out of Ezra's lips. 'At last!' Ray thought. He could finally stop looking like a damn sixteen-year-old virgin and show Ezra just how much experience he had.
Not to be outdone, Ezra repositioned his hands so that one held the back of Ray's blond head, and the other gently touched his sensitive member. Ray almost flung his head back at the sensation, but Ezra's hand was well placed and strong. Ray completely forgot that, until now, his own erection had gone unaddressed. He started a gasp but his mouth was soon covered by Ezra's.
Ray finally just gave up and accepted that he wasn't going to be the one leaving the other in a shambling mess at the end of this. And he was fine with that, all things considering. So Ray decided to fully cast his inhibitions to the wind, as romance-novelly as that sounded, and wrapped his arms around Ezra while he rode him as best as he could. It was a good thing he wasn't trying to concentrate anymore, because Ezra was more skilled at working Ray's cock than he would've figured.
As Ray was nearing his climax, he forced his eyes to stay open to look at his bully-turned-lover. He felt a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw that Ezra was looking back. Ezra nodded grunted out a half-smile, which Ray returned as he bucked more frantically atop him.
With a cock up his ass and a capable hand on his own, Ray was the first to go, his white seed spilling between the pair of them. Ezra carefully leaned him down to the bed so that Ray could lie comfortably while he finished. Ezra also removed his hand from Ray's spent member and took an achingly long lick across his palm. If he hadn't literally just came, that gesture alone would've had Ray come all over again. Ezra leaned down for a few more sloppy kisses before he climaxed himself.
Ray let his eyes close as he lay back to catch his breath. Even though Ray made a special trip down to the ass-crack society that was Ferlin, West Virginia solely for a one-night stand, he somehow didn't see the night playing out like this.
Ezra silently pulled himself out of Ray and went to the adjourning bathroom. Ray wasn't too sure what to do next. The girls in Drama Class never mentioned afterwards, just the juicy events preceding. Was an evening with E.Z. Ponder just that? An evening? Ray decided to not stay to make an accidental fool of himself, so he rolled off the bed and began to search for where Ezra tossed his underwear. He spotted a familiar black pile of cloth on the other side of the room and went to retrieve it. As he bent down, however, a pair of feet came into his view.
"Leaving so soon?" Ezra asked casually as Ray bent back up to meet his face, his underwear forgotten on the floor.
"Well…I didn't know if…" Ray tried to think of the least awkward way to address his former bully about post-sex courtesy.
"Oh, " He smiled at Ray's confusion. "Well, if you're not in any hurry, you can stay the night."
Ray raised his eyebrows in response. Was he actually offering for him to stay? In the end, he nodded 'yes', words failing him again.
"I mean, what kind of host would I be if I threw you out in the middle of the night?" Ezra chuckled and led Ray back to the bed. "You might get the idea that all of us down here in the Holler are a bunch of backwards, inbred, intolerant rednecks."
"I don't think I should respond to that one." Ray smiled, loosening up.
"Probably best that you don't." Ezra climbed under the ruffled piles of homemade quilts, leaving room for Ray to follow.
Ray climbed in after him, taking the pillow on the side opposite to Ezra, still not quite sure of the post coital boundaries in this particular instance.
"Stop bein' such a stranger. I was pretty sure we moved past those formalities earlier." Ezra stretched out his arm allowing for Ray to snuggle closer to him, which Ray more than eagerly obliged.
"Can I ask you a question?" Ezra said after a few moments of silence.
"Right now Ezra, you can ask me anything." Ray sighed as he nudged his head into Ezra's shoulder.
"What made you take me up on my offer?"
Ray brought a hand up to graze across Ezra's chest. "I don't really know. I always did have a crush on you in school." Ray felt a chuckle rumble through Ezra's chest.
"Even when I was being a horrible jackass?" Ezra moved the lower half of the arm that Ray was resting on to cradle his back.
"Well, you can't help who you like." Ray tried to play casual, even though he was in heaven at the moment.
That's for damn sure." Ezra agreed and held him closer. "I'm sorry again…for how I acted in high school."
"Forgiven. If anything this more than makes amends."
A few more minutes passed before Ezra broke the silence again. "Just one more question."
"Mm-hmm?" Ray responded, already starting to fall asleep.
"Do you still need those Capezios, or can we dance just fine without them?"
"I don't know about both of us. You dance better than anyone on Broadway." Shit, Ray did not mean for that to sound as corny as it did. But then again, there was no way that could've sounded anything but.
Ezra didn't seem to notice or care as he leaned down to plant a chaste peck on Ray's mouth. "Well, I'm available for lessons anytime you like."
Ray pushed himself up over Ezra and kissed him full on the mouth before returning to his position against his side. That was an offer too good to refuse.