DeadPool Story

Because I'm bored

"Would you shut the hell up already! If I could find a way to kill myself I would jump at the opportunity faster than Charlie Sheen can inhale cocaine-"

There was a pause, like, an awkward one... DeadPool is good at those.

"The f*ck is that supposed to mean Jared?!"

It means you have a tendency to-

"No! I didn't ask to be in this sh*tfest! And as much as I love hang-"

Don't finish that sentence! Sarcasm is my thing, SarcasticDragon, my YouTube name, I did the math last night, 79.6875 percent of my dialogue was sarcasm! By the way, readers, I'm not saying you should go check out my gaming channel and subscribe, I'm just saying that would be logical. SarcasticDragon Gaming :D

"You are a special type of scum, a species only found in the basement of suburban neighborhoods. You could've asked before you put me in your story!"

I couldn't get ahold of you.

"Then why didn't you call Ryan Reynolds?"

I couldn't get ahold of him either. Now, can we get back to this story? The sooner we finish this the better.

"Fine, what's the plot?"

Well first, stop talking to me.

"But you're just SOOOO interesting."

... Wade... Sarcasm... That's my thing... DON'T EVER TAKE AWAY MY SAR-

"Alright shut up. I'm taking control of this story."

... Fine, less work for me, post it to Booksie when you're finished.

"K"

Alright see you guys around!

...Finaly that dumass is gone. Now I git 2 rite the dialoge. Now where were we? Oh yes, I was teling te chef of police to shut up, I was also tieing up my trusty noose.

"OOOH IM A BIG DUM COP WHO DOSNT NO HOW TO PROTECT TE SITY!" He sed.

Wat? Thats wat I herd. And thats all that maters.

So I sed "then I will protect te sity!" And i did. te end.

Jared! i rote te storee!

... Alright, let me read... What the absolute f*ck is wrong with your grammar and spelling?! That's it I'm writing the rest of your dialogue.

"I didn't do that bad."

Yes you did, you couldn't even spell "the" correctly.

"... It was autocorrect."

Bullsh*t. You've been drinking.

"...I know..."

Sorry guys, that was irresponsible of me to leave... Ah f*ck it I'm just gonna scrap the story... And... Delete. Alright I'm done, peace out Wade.

"Bye!"

...

...

its ok, i recovrd te storee guys.

tyme 2 uplode

im gonna git a awthur reword 4 dis.