DISCLAIMER: All characters from the TV series, 'Friends' are copyrighted to 'Warner Brothers'. All characters created outside and the plot of this story are copyrighted to the author. This work is non-profit and cannot be sold for profit. This is for entertainment purposes only and should be taken as such.

AUTHOR: Katrina

SPOILERS: Minor, Seasons 5 - Some text taken from episode, 'The One After Ross Says Rachel'.

SYNOPSIS: A 'What if' story telling what may have happened if Chandler was stopped from going back into Monica's apartment once they got back from London.

A/N: This is a REALLY old story of mine that I originally posted under the name of 'Gambits Love' way back in 2001. I've decided to delete that account and post it under my own name now :) Hopefully my writing has improved since then, LOL!

THE ONE WHERE CHANDLER DOESN'T GO BACK

The door to the apartment closed behind Joey Tribbiani leaving his good friends, Monica Geller and Chandler Bing, by themselves. They stared longingly at each other, not sure of what to say.

"Well, we certainly are alone," Monica finally commented as she reluctantly broke the gaze and walked away from him. She took off her sweater and draped it over the back of the couch.

Chandler walked over to the fridge.

"Yes. Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule," he replied, over-brightly. He retrieved an apple from her fridge and tossed it absently from one hand to the other as Monica turned to look at him.

She knew that now the subject was broached she needed to tell him something before she lost her nerve.

"Right. Umm, listen since we're…we're on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I…I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother…"

"Right," chuckled Chandler remembering the drunken man at Ross's wedding.

Trying to get passed the awkwardness she felt, Monica added, "Well, an-anyway, I just…that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks."

"Oh," he replied softly. Her admission touched him and he wanted to assure her that the night had affected him as well, "You know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me because…you're really hot!" He paused as he realised what he'd said and inwardly cringed. It hadn't come out quite as he'd intended it. He smiled winningly, "Is that okay?"

Monica laughed, liking his admission.

"That's okay."

Glad that he'd made her laugh, lightening the moment, his smile broadened and he leaned towards her, "And I'm cute too."

Monica gave a little giggle before repeating, "And you're cute too."

Chandler engulfed her in a bear hug, "Thank you," he said and pulled away. He held up his hand for a high five, "All right, I gotta go unpack."

"Okay."

Monica slapped his hand and watched him leave.

He opened the door, only pausing long enough to say goodbye and then he was gone.

Monica stared at the door desperately wishing he hadn't left. The night had meant so much more to her than she'd allowed him to believe and she knew that whatever happened, for her, things would never be the same again. Not quite knowing what she was going to do, she took a few steps towards the door then stopped. 'Bad idea,' she told herself firmly and turned away. 'You just sorted everything out. Don't go making a fool of yourself asking for something he obviously doesn't want. You've got your memories, just be happy with them.'

With that self-reprimand, she grabbed her bag and stared one last time at her door. 'It's for the best,' she thought sadly, before going to bedroom to unpack.

Chandler reached out to open the door to his apartment and then stopped. He looked back at Monica's door and his expression brightened as an idea came to him. Eagerly, he took a step back towards the apartment across the hall only to stop when his own door opened behind him and Joey stuck his head out.

"Dude, you've gotta see what the Duck did," he told him then grabbed hold of Chandler's arm and dragged him into their apartment.

"But, Joe," Chandler tried to interrupt, "there's something I've got to take care of…"

"That can wait," his friend replied dismissively and slammed the door shut.

Chandler gazed resignedly at the closed door and sighed. 'Maybe this was how it was meant to be. What had he been thinking anyway? From what Monica had said, it was obvious that now they where back she didn't want anything to continue.' He shook his head sadly. 'It's for the best…damn it!'

Monica methodically unpacked her toiletries and souvenirs and then made a start on her clothes. She put away the items she hadn't worn and dumped the rest in her laundry basket ready to be washed. As she pulled various sweaters and pants from her case she paused briefly when she spied the red two- piece she had been wearing when she had gone to Chandler's room that night.

A soft smile appeared on her face as she picked up the top and held it close to her. A faint scent hit her nose causing her to shut her eyes and sigh. Chandler. She sat down on her bed and let the memories of the night they'd spent together wash over her. His tender caresses, his hushed voice asking if she were alright and if she were sure of what they were doing. She touched a hand to her mouth and let out an inadvertent groan. And boy, he was the best kisser! There must be a law against a man having such soft lips she decided.

But of all that had happened that night, the thing that stayed with her the most was just how gentle and giving he had been. Everything had been for her. He had made her feel…loved.

A sudden knock on her bedroom door roused her from her daydream and her eyes shot open.

"Who's there?" she asked as she quickly threw the dress into her wash basket and stood up.

"It's only me," announced Phoebe as she entered the room.

"Phoebe, I thought you'd gone home," said Monica in surprise.

"Yeah, well, I got to the coffee house and decided I didn't want to, so…" She shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

Monica gestured to the wash basket, "I was just going to do my laundry. You want to come with me?"

"Sure," Phoebe replied as Monica picked up the basket and walked passed her, "And then you can tell me all about that guy you had sex with in London."

Monica stopped abruptly and spun around to face her friend. She laughed nervously.

"Phoebe, I already told you…"

"Oh please, Monica," Phoebe interrupted derisively, "I know you just denied it because Joey and Chandler were there but now we're alone I want to hear all the juicy details."

Monica cursed quietly as Phoebe followed her out of the apartment and down to the laundry room. She knew Phoebe wouldn't let the subject drop and couldn't help but dread the next couple of hours.

Chandler waited until he heard the door to the apartment shut behind him, then slowly turned his lounger around. He took a mouthful of beer from the bottle he held in his hand and stared at the door. Joey had gone to see Estelle, his agent, leaving Chandler all alone. 'OK, this is it' he thought to himself. 'Just get up and go and see her. Be brave, tell her how you feel.' He put his beer down and stood up. Slowly, he walked over to his door and opened it. He stared at the door opposite and forced himself into the hallway. He rose his hand to knock then thought better of it realising that it wouldn't be normal if he didn't just walk straight in. 'OK, act naturally, act naturally,' he told himself sternly.

With a deep breath he pasted a smile on his face and threw open the door. "Hey," he called out brightly as he entered. He was met with silence and after calling out again, realised that the apartment was empty. Disappointment flooded through him and he turned to go. Just as he reached the door, Monica appeared in the hallway carrying her basket of now clean laundry. They both stood still where they were and stared at each other.

"Hey," he greeted quietly.

"Hey," she returned with a smile, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…uh…look Mon, about what we agreed earlier, I've been thinking…and I just wanted to…uh…tell you...that I really want…"

Suddenly, Phoebe appeared behind Monica, breathing heavily. "Wow, those stairs are getting harder to climb every day," she moaned, "I have got to sit down."

Monica shot Chandler an apologetic glance then moved aside for Phoebe to enter. Their friend sat down on the couch then turned her head to look at them both.

"What's going on?" she asked, noticing the tension between them.

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Chandler replied a little too loudly, "I just came over to borrow a…a pan that's all, but Monica doesn't have the pan I wanted, so now I won't be able to cook the dinner I wanted, which means I'll have to go hungry and eventually, probably die from starvation." He stopped as he realised how freaked he sounded and a flush crept up his cheeks, "And, I'll just go…now," he finished falteringly.

Grimacing at his awkwardness, he bowed his head and hurriedly left the apartment. Monica stared after him as he slammed his own door shut then she turned back to Phoebe.

"Well…uh…I can't believe he got so upset over a pan," she remarked with a forced laugh, her mind still on what he'd been going to say before Phoebe had entered.

Phoebe shook her head in awe, "I can't believe he was actually going to cook something."

END OF PART 1