Crimes And Punishments
Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece
Summary: Lee punishes himself for the Disgrace he's brought
Author's Note: Written for Lifeinahole27. Possible out-of characterness
Constructive Criticism is always welcomed
Published: 10 September 2008
Rating: T
One thousand four hundred thirty-three! One thousand four hundred thirty-four! One thousand four hundred thirty-five!
The sweat ran into Lee's eyes—at least, he was fairly sure it was sweat and not rain—but he refused to acknowledge it. He would punch the post two thousand times and then if those Shameful and Un-Youthful images were still in his Traitorous brain, he would kick the post two thousand times, a thousand times with each leg! Then two thousand side-stretches!
Hopefully, by that point, he'd be so tired that he won't need to two thousand back bends.
Unfortunately, thinking about backs bending made Lee's Treacherous and Unrepentant brain go happily skipping back to—
NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.
Lee was NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.
That was Un-Youthful and Reprehensible! He was a Noble and Loyal Ninja! Trained by the most Honourable and Skilled Gai-Sensei! He had nothing but respect for—
His brain cheerfully held up one of the images—
NO!
He was NOT GOING TO REMEMBER THAT!
He was at one thousand four hundred sixty-eight punches! He wasn't going to stop!
And he was adding two thousand crunches and twenty laps around Konoha in less than eight minutes to punish his Evil, Conniving Brain for those last two moments.
Maybe in between exercise bouts, he could challenge Shikamaru to a game of Go or something to really make sure that his brain suffered for its Indecency. See how it liked that!
One thousand four hundred eighty! One thousand four hundred eighty-one! One thousand four hundred eighty-two!
A light steam from his muscles mingled with the harsh cotton puffs of his sharp breath. Once he finished all of this and after he warmed up in a hot shower, he was going to tackle the issue of How To Make Things Better. He also resolved that if he couldn't figure out a way on his own within an hour, he was going to bow down to the Expertise and Wisdom of Gai-Sensei.
He was also going to have to ask Gai-Sensei why These Reprehensible Things were happening now instead of the spring; wasn't that the normal time for such things? Maybe there was something wrong with him since it was autumn and not spring…
No, Lee was in the Prime of his Youth! This just must be one of those Unpleasant Aspects that Youthfulness sometimes brought. Gai-Sensei himself had said that they occurred every now and then. It was just the Burden that came with such Greatness that Youth brought.
If he just disciplined his Youthfulness, then maybe it wouldn't make his brain respond in such an Appalling Manner.
Hence…
One thousand four hundred ninety-nine! One thousand five hundred! One thousand five hundred one!
A leaf that dared to fall in front of him got pulverised.
One thousand five hundred three! One thousand five hundred—
"Lee."
Lee yelped and Instinct brutally kicked in—in more ways than one. He lashed out, annihilating the training post before leaping to a nearby bare branch, a new crater in the ground.
Only then did his Slow and Stupid Brain catch up with his body.
Gaara stood at the edge of the field looking—
—WET! Lee yelled over the gleeful adjectives that his brain were eagerly supplying. WET and DISGRUNTLED.
His brain immediately shut up at the realisation that Lee was Right; Gaara looked Very Disgruntled and Mildly Irritated.
"Ah…Kaze—" Dark-ringed eyes narrowed slightly. Lee tried again. "Gaara-sa—" Corners of thin lips turned down further. Lee made one last attempt. "Hello."
"Why did you leave?"
"I ah, just remembered…ah, there was something I had to do." He had to punish his brain for being so Un-Youthful—or was it being too Youthful? He'd have to ask Gai-sensei which it was.
Gaara's face darkened. Lee really hoped that Gaara wouldn't ask anything more—
"What did you have to do?"
"I…ah…that's—that's information I ah, can't share." Lee—despite having a good chunk of the training field between him and Gaara and knowing the light rain would slow down Gaara's sand-based attacks—inched back on his bare branch. He wished for leaves to hide him better from the increasingly sinister look he was getting.
"Kankuro seems to think you're embarrassed." Gaara said, almost accusatorily. "And Temari agrees with him." The words came out in such a way that it clearly stated that Gaara was sceptical of what his siblings said, but knew that they had more expertise in the area of human emotion that he did.
Lee Awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and Prayed Fervently that his face was not as Red as Gaara's Lustrous Hair. "I…ah…" How could he Explain his (Possibly) Overly Youthful Moment he had back there without Offending Gaara and WITHOUT having to Explain too much or his Evil Brain Interrupting? "…Would rather Not Discuss such a Matter out in the Open!"
Facial expression narrow, Gaara nodded shortly. "Fine."
Embarrassed and Resigned, Lee leapt down and Briefly entertained the Shameful (yet Appealing) Idea of opening a gate or five and BOOKING IT out of there. He could hide; he knew a few places he could go where Gaara would take a while to find him—long enough that he could finish punishing his brain properly.
But since Lee was NOT a Dishonourable Man, he didn't flee; he only Silently and Dutifully led the way to his Humble Apartment. He tried to figure out what he was going to say when they got there; he probably did owe Gaara an explanation, but honestly, why couldn't the Kazekage not want one?!
Lee Respectfully held the door for Gaara and only once he had the Sand Ninja (who looked mildly confused over the whole door holding thing) in and away from the rain and cool breeze did he step out of the Autumnal Elements—
—Only to turn around and find Gaara right there, smelling of wet sand and the oils that he knew they used for washing in lieu of water.
"Um, would you like a towel? To dry off?" Lee managed to get out without hyperventilating. It was a little hard to think about anything with such an Intense Gaze coming from such a Short Range.
"Explain." Gaara commanded in a menacingly soft tone, clearly not interested in towels. "Explain why you left."
Lee would have liked to taken a step back—he had the Nasty Feeling that his brain was going to be a Smug Voyeur and Not Help him out of this Distressing Situation—but he was almost plastered to his door as it was.
"I…ah…I needed to…Atone for a Grave Disrespect!" There! That wasn't a lie! And it was Noble and Worthy reason—
"A grave disrespect," Gaara repeated flatly, green eyes drilling into him. "I suppose if I ask you about it, you'll try to get out of explaining that as well."
"Ah, well, revisiting such Disrespect would be Un-Youthful—"
"Did it involve me?"
Lee Floundered. If he lied, Gaara would know. Lying would also make Lee a Disgraceful and Dreadful Ninja, something that he knew he couldn't live with.
But if he told The Truth, he would Die from Humiliation and Mortification before Gaara could kill him. And Gaara would be angry and insulted and that would Strain Diplomatic Relations in the Village—
"So Kankuro was right."
"About what?" Lee asked weakly.
"He said you were embarrassed and felt that you had insulted me in some way, though nobody is really sure why you felt that way." Lee swallowed as Gaara invaded his personal space more. "He was also right about you being out in the training fields to atone for whatever imagined slight there was."
He was having troubles focusing on what the Kazekage was saying, especially since the redhead had gotten even closer. Water still dripped off of Gaara and it was Horribly Distracting. His brain didn't have to do much for this situation To Go South, as the expression went.
"Are you listening to me?" Gaara sounded irritated, which should have sent off a lot more warning bells in the jounin's head then it did.
"…You're still wet. Are you sure that you don't want to dry off?" Lee's mouth said, and he was Immensely Grateful that what came out was Respectful and Clean.
Dark-rimmed eyes narrowed in annoyance and confusion. Lee nearly brained himself on his door when Gaara suddenly touched his forehead. "You keep getting red and you're not paying attention…I've heard those are signs of illness. Are you not feeling well?"
If Real Life was anything like the Romantic movies Lee liked, this would have been the point their eyes would Meet, and they won't be able to Look Away. Their mouths would Slowly move towards each others until they Sweetly Met in a Passionate—
Lee recoiled. No! This was—this was the Kazekage! This was Gaara! Gaara was his friend! Gaara was one of the most Powerful and Youthful Ninjas in the world! You didn't just fantasise about them like that! It was Wrong!
He only realised he was babbling out garbled apologies when Gaara snapped out his name. He only found out what he was babbling when Gaara—with an displeased mystified air—asked him what kissing had do with anything.
Lee decided the only way to save his Honour was Ritual Suicide.
"Is that what this is about?" Gaara asked, comprehension dawning. "Kissing?"
Was it possible to commit Ritual Suicide twice? Because that was the only way that he could salvage—
Oh sweet gods, when had Gaara gotten so close? And why was he looking so—
"I don't know what one does with kissing," Gaara informed him flatly. "Explain."
Lee wasn't sure what came over him at the command—maybe another bout of Over-Youthfulness?—but instead of explaining, he leaned forwards carefully and brushed his mouth against Gaara's.
Gaara blinked and frowned. "Again," he commanded.
Lee Hastened to Obey. He didn't want to cause any more Trouble for his Village, especially since he had finally fixed the last problem.
…Though, if his brain took this as its punishment for being Disreputable, he had a feeling that it was going to commit that Crime a lot more in the future.
x Fin x