Genre: Yaoi
Paring: RuHana/HanaRu
Rated: R (for sex)

Warning: Un-betaed by anyone other than me

Notes: Don't let the title fool you. I don't mean "Eat me." in the back-alley of an adult bookstore sort of way. And whereas that would be an interesting read too (I wouldn't be averse that at all! Not with these guys! ^_~) this is a little different. Hope you enjoy it! C&C's/R&R's welcome!


Eat Me
By Dementia_12


I was the target of his affections.
And I meant just that.

The intensity of his love for me would kill me someday.
I know it in my soul that it will.

Rukawa….loves me with every facet of his being. His blue eyes glow for me, his skin illuminated from the inside by the radiance of his desire for me.

This is his first time. He's never loved anyone but me and he's thrown himself fully into the experience.

I always thought I would be like that too. When I saw other couples, when I would see one throw themselves into the arms of the other, I used to think, "I would do that, too".
Inside, in my reality, I am actually restrained.

I love Rukawa, genuinely and deeply - but I find I can't give myself over to him completely.

I'm clinging.
Grasping to the part of me that I can't give over because it's mine and not to be touched.
Not by anyone.

I want to…

I want to want to give myself up.

If I could love him the way he loves me, than maybe I wouldn't feel so scared all the time. Afraid that he'll consume me, take my individuality and all that I am and just eat it up.

He said that to me once, when we were making love.

My eyes were closed tight and his arms were around me. Rukawa's hair was rubbing against my neck, his arms gripping my shoulders as he thrust hard into me.

Nothing matches moments like that; I can feel the power in his love for me.
So much. So much that I can only withstand it when it's surrounding me, pushing its way through me like a soft spike.
I remember that his kisses missed my mouth mostly, his tongue lashing out to lick my lips and taste me.
He's so perfect for me, so mesmerizing in his want.

His hot breath provided air for me as I struggled to breathe. When I came, he watched me. Than his body started to shake and I watched him. Kaede's entrancing eyes closed as shudders of blissful completion beset him, and his roughened voice told me to eat him alive.

It had sounded sexy at the time, made me quake yet again at the desperation in his tone but his words plagued my mind afterward.

I fear his consumption of me but Rukawa wanted me to do that for him.
Could he know that I don't feel the same?

Never would I have though that I would end up being the emotionally repressed one.

How can he be so open in this? I know he's been hurt. His parent's abandoned him at a young age to relatives who feared the coldness that haunted his eyes thereafter.

How can he trust me in something so important?

"Hanamichi."

I look up to see Kaede hovering in the doorway, his eyes gleaming as they roved over my face. I smile at him, still somewhat unnerved by his concentration on me but continually attempting to mask it.

He approached me and kneeled on the floor in front of me. I had been sitting in the family room so long in thought that I hadn't realized how much time had passed. The sun was setting. I had been here since after lunch.

Rukawa stared at me, and I reached out and pushed the hair from his eyes absently.
His azure eyes blinked slowly, enjoying the casual touch.
"I love your eyes. Did you know that?" I murmured, my mind feeling sluggish as I looked at him.

Those eyes smiled at me and Rukawa pushed his face into my hand.
"I figured that out a long time ago."
I huffed a little and stroked his hair as he lay his head on my lap.

And the time was comfortable.

"Did you eat?" I whispered, bending as much as I could to smell his hair.
Rukawa sighed, feeling my nose nuzzle him. His arms wrapped around my waist as he tucked in closer.
Lifting his head brought our faces closely together and he leaned in closer, kissing me shortly and sweetly.

"No."
Gem blue eyes gazed earnestly at me and the comfort left.

God.

He's going to eat me.

Less than five seconds later and Rukawa climbed into Hanamichi's lap, soft open lips kissing greedily and grunting out noises of relish. It wasn't too long before a naked Rukawa was slowly lowering himself onto Hanamichi's strong member with a drawn out groan. Kaede's pale, bare back repeatedly rubbed against the buttons of his lover's shirt as he forcefully rocked himself up and down.

"Oh God! I love you…" Hanamichi grated out, his broad hands tense on his lover's shifting hips.

Rukawa leaned back, his body resting on Hanamichi's. His teeth nipped at his lover's ear and breathed,
"Take all of me…"

I'll take you.

Hanamichi shoved his hips upward, pulling Rukawa down just as forcefully. Two more of the same brutal moves and Rukawa threw his head back, shouting out to God, to Heaven and to anyone who would listen.
Hanamichi followed his path with an echoing shout shortly after.

Rukawa collapsed against his lover, spent and replete.
Arms wrapped around the naked boy's waist, clutching convulsively.

"Hanamichi?"

Hands fumbled up Kaede's body until they reached under his chin, dragging him backward into a frenzied kiss.

"Rukawa…Kaede…" Sakuragi mumbled into Rukawa's mouth.
"Hanamichi…"

Holding his lover's head still, sable eyes caught cobalt.
"I'll take you. I'll eat you alive."

He stroked Rukawa's face and kissed his temple.
"You're mine."

Pulling back, Rukawa stared back at him. A gradual, blazing brilliance began overtaking his features in happiness.
Happiness in having a wish understood; a wish attained.

"You understand now?" Rukawa whispered, hand reaching back to tangle in Sakuragi's hair.

Eyes bright with tears at his epiphany, at finally being able to start letting go, Hanamichi nodded and was rewarded with light kiss.

Hugging his lover, Hanamichi's heart was in his tremulous words.

"We're one."


~Owari~