Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following: SG1 characters, show premises, any of the technology, places or species mentioned, and not even the title of this story. No infringement of any copyrights intended.

How I Met Your Mother

Vala found herself spellbound by what she was seeing. She leaned against the doorframe, silently contemplating a scene of domestic tranquillity the likes of which she could never have imagined ten years before.

Sprawled across the living room sofa lay her son, trying to dig out his latest Gameboy from between the pillows; it must have been wedged tight, since he kept coming up empty, letting out little grunts whenever his fingers brushed the toy but failed to extract it. Meanwhile, his younger sister twirled all over the room, showing off the first dress that she had picked out for herself a few days before, on her birthday; naturally, it was light pink and fluffy, the requisite fashion for any self-respecting five-year old.

As for herself, well Vala had just finished putting a tray in the oven, and prayed this time her efforts would turn out something edible. She had been steadily improving ever since Sam had enrolled her in those cooking classes—the smoke detector, at least, had not gone off in a solid six months. Now all she had to work on was convincing her family to show a little more enthusiasm at the prospect of a home-cooked meal. And to that end, as well as to showcase her newfound skills, she had invited all their friends over for a Sunday brunch before their usual evening barbecue.

And now that lunch was in the oven, all that the three of them had to do was wait for everyone else to be back from the stocking trip to the nearby market.

"Yes, Princess…yes, I'm a little princess…and a pony…" Vala smiled as she listened to what her young daughter murmured to herself while she twirled about the room. "Up the stage like a pretty…pretty ba-lle-ri-na…"

And all of a sudden, the honey-haired five year-old stopped. Her attention instantly focused.

"Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet?"

Vala did a double-take. She was still not used to the way that her children's minds jumped among ideas sometimes. Before she could answer, her eight year-old son paused in his efforts for a moment, to give his younger sister a condescending look.

"D'oh! Daddy told us, you little airhead, remember?"

"I was tired! I fell asleep!"

"You always fall asleep!"

"That's because I'm little, and you're big and you're my big brother and you have to take care of me. Daddy said so. I heard him."

"Figures you'd be awake for that."

The little girl stuck out her tongue. "Mommy!"

Her brother cautiously looked up from the sofa to see his mother arching an eyebrow. "Alright, alright, I'll tell her the story!"

He extricated himself from the sofa pillows, and took a deep breath, puffing his cheeks proudly. After all, he was about to tell a story, just like his dad so often did.

"Daddy met Mommy when Mommy came to Earth to ask him for help in finding a treasure. Daddy helped her, and he deciphered the map and he fought the guardian knight and he found the treasure for Mommy!"

Vala couldn't hold back a peel of laughter. "Is that how Daddy told it?"

"Yes!" her son said proudly. "I remember it very well!"

Encouraged by his little sister's engaged attention, he squared his shoulders and launched into the story. "So, Daddy was getting ready to go on a trip to Atlantis, where they needed him to translate some of the Al—Ali—Al-te-ran databases…"

Years before…

Grand—that is, General Landry had just called Dad—that is, Daniel Jackson in his office at the SGC.

"Dr. Jackson. The Daedalus is waiting to take you to Atlantis where they need you to translate some of the Al-te-ran databases. It leaves in twenty-four hours."

Daddy was very happy: "Perfect, I've been waiting for months to go! Now I can finally take a look at that holographic interface that is so totally cool!"

But then Walter's voice came through the speakers: "Unscheduled offworld activation!"

It was Mo—that is, Vala Jackson. Oh, except she was called something else back then. Because that's what people do when they get married. They change their names.

General Landry didn't know what to think of her, so he asked Daddy. "Should we let her through the gate?"

"Of course," Dad said. "I think she may have something genuine to offer."

And that's how Daddy and Mommy first saw each other... except they weren't Daddy and Mommy back then. They were just Daniel and Vala.

So Vala, she came through the stargate.

"Hello, all. My name is Vala, and I have with me this Ancient treasure map. I need help reading it and finding the treasure. Would you all be so kind as to assist?"

Daniel thought about it for a second. "Oh, hmm, well the Daedalus is leaving in about a day…but sure, I think we have enough time to take a look at that map of yours."

She thought he was very nice for agreeing to help. "Why thank you, darling, aren't you a perfect sweetheart."

The five year-old giggled. "That does sound like Mommy."

"Maybe after she'd had a shot too many," Vala murmured between silent chuckles, as she ruffled her son's raven hair. He looked up with a confused expression.

"Huh?"

"Nothing darling, go on with the story. I'm dying to hear the rest of it."

Daddy of course helped Mommy decipher the map, and they found that the treasure was buried…somewhere in England…and they took a ship there to get it.

Daddy found the place very quickly. "That's it, this is what the map leads to. But the treasure is buried under this mountain. We will have to use the Goa'uld rings to transport down."

"Good plan, Jackson."

Oh, yeah, Uncle Cam was there, too. And Uncle T. They were helping Mommy and Daddy, no wait, Daniel and Vala, to find the treasure.

"Keep the ship in position, so we can use the rings to transport back with the treasure," Daniel told the pilot.

"May I come with you?" asked Vala.

"Of course," Daniel agreed, "just be careful and don't steal anything."

Vala let out an indignant little huff, but did not interrupt her son's story.

So they went to where the treasure was buried and there was this dark, creepy cave…and they got separated! Uncle Cam and Uncle T. went one way, and Daddy and Mommy went another.

Daddy was looking for clues along the dusty tunnels. "Stay close to me," he told Mommy, "there could be traps in this place."

"Okay," she agreed.

But then Mommy accidentally went into this chamber, and it turns out it was a trap! The door closed behind them and the ceiling started coming down! And it almost squished them!

"Oh no!!" The little girl's eyes widened in fear, and her head quickly snapped towards Vala. "Mommy!"

Vala pulled her daughter against her on the sofa, offering a reassuring wink. "It's alright sweetheart, there was no squishing."

"Nope," her son agreed with a very serious mien, "because Daddy figured out the chamber was actually a riddle!"

The Ancients had made the riddle as a test of wisdom. Daddy solved the riddle…and then the ceiling stopped coming down!

Mommy was very happy: "Oh darling that was impressive!"

Then Daddy realized that Uncle Cam and Uncle T might also be in trouble, and he hurried to rescue them, too! And he was right on time, because Uncle Cam and Uncle T had also walked into a trap-chamber! And their ceiling was coming down, too! And Daddy couldn't even see the riddle, but he managed to solve it anyway.

"Well, wasn't Daddy just the hero," Vala commented under her breath.

And then they made their way further into the dark caves…and they came upon the sword in the stone!

"Oh look!" said Mommy. "It's a sword in the stone! What do we do now, Daniel?"

Daddy was prepared. "We have to pull it out!"

But when he did that, this guardian knight showed up, and Daddy had to fight him! With the sword, because the guardian was immune to all their other weapons! But of course Daddy defeated him! And then they found the treasure!

Mommy was very grateful. "Oh Daniel, thanks ever so much for this."

Daddy was very happy that he could help Mommy. "You're welcome..."

"...and that," the dark-haired eight-year old finished with a satisfied nod, "is how they first met."

His little sister squealed in glee. "Yay!" She jumped off the sofa and did a few twirls before turning a bright-eyed gaze to Vala. "That's so cute Mommy!"

As she had been doing for most of the story, Vala had to purse her lips to hold back her laughter.

"Yes, that's very cute," she agreed. "Of course, Daddy's memory seems slightly…faulty with regard to our first encounter."

Her son looked puzzled. "Are you saying that's not how it happened?"

She paused for a second, reaching behind the sofa to pull out his stuck gameboy, then smiled. "Well my little darling, you can't blame Daddy for forgetting the details…I mean it's been what, twelve, thirteen years? Things do get a bit hazy in that time…"

"So Daddy didn't help you get the treasure?"

"Oh there was the Ancient treasure hunt, of course," Vala hurried to clarify, not wanting to take away her son's joy at having told the story, "but you see, Daniel and I had met before that."

The little girl's mouth fell open. "Before that?" She was obviously enthralled by the possibility, as only a five year-old could be. "How, Mommy? How did you meet?"

"Well, about thirteen years ago, the Earth people had this very big ship, their best yet…"

Years before…

The Tau'ri ship was truly impressive…it was called the Prometheus.

Your father was on that ship, on his way to Atlantis: "Finally, I've been waiting for months to go! If you hadn't overruled Jack, General, I probably would still be threatening to hold my breath unless he lets me go."

The General in question was called Hammond of Texas. He was glad to have Daniel among his crew. "Don't mention it."

"That's so funny Mommy," the little girl giggled. "Daddy threatening to hold his breath."

Her brother cocked his head, puzzlement evident in his blue eyes. "Why didn't Uncle Jack let him go to Atlantis?"

"Hmm…because Uncle Jack was worried about your father's safety."

He nodded, again with that grave expression that Vala found adorable. "Uncle Jack told me he bought Daddy a whole collection of hard hats…but Daddy says that's not true."

She winked. "That would depend on what you mean by 'collection', I guess."

That earned her a grin from her son, who then quickly asked for the rest of the story.

"So were you on that ship with Dad?"

Vala pondered the answer for a second.

"Not at first. You see, during that period, I was still running my…business…in the same sector of space where the Prometheus happened to be—"

"You mean, back when you were a space-pirate?" Her son was obviously awed at the prospect, and Vala gave him a warning glance.

"Yes, that's what I mean, and no you can't. Well, at least, not until after college." She smiled when his expression of disappointment quickly changed back to enthusiasm. "So, I had come across some rather hard times in my trade as a cunning, skilled space pirate…and I happened to be in dire need of a ship…"

I had been expecting some Alkesh, at best, to fly by my disabled cargo ship…so imagine my surprise when the pride of the Tau'ri fleet shows up. It was perfect.

And of course, being, as I was, a rather accomplished...trader…I managed to redistribute vessel ownership quite fairly between myself and the crew of the Prometheus. They got to keep the Alkesh and the cargo ship, and I in return got their ship. A fair deal, as they say.

Even General Hammond was not opposed to the exchange, and so I…helped…transport him and his crew to the Alkesh.

Unfortunately, for some odd reason, your father mistakenly thought that I planned to steal the ship—when really the whole thing was a perfectly innocent, fair trade.

So he tried to stop me from taking the Prometheus: "I'm going to try and stop you from taking this ship!"

He was very determined to get the vessel back. He even fired his weapon on me! But don't worry, I was wearing this special suit, you see, that made me immune to weapons fire.

Daniel was not happy. "Oh, damn it. You're immune to weapons fire."

I should have transported your father to his people on the Alkesh…but I liked him! So I kept him. Of course, I explained that attacking me any further would be pointless…

"Don't try anything else. I've got the special suit on, and I'm also quite the expert at hand-to-hand combat. So play nice and I'll let you stay with me on the ship, and then when I'm done with it you can have it back."

He was very understanding. "Okay."

Vala paused for a second, fast forwarding through a few of the scenes she remembered from her and Daniel's first encounter on the Prometheus. The memory of them brought a mischievous smile to her lips.

She felt her daughter tugging at her sleeve.

"So what did you do with the ship, Mommy?"

Well, I had a meeting scheduled with two lizards. Their names were Tenat and Jup. And although I did not know it at the time, they were very unpleasant individuals who planned to double-cross me and steal the Prometheus.

To make matters worse, Daniel made some very unfortunate decisions: "I'm going to meet these associates of yours, explain the whole thing to them, apologize for any inconvenience and then offer them transport if they so wish. Because open communication is the best approach in any situation."

I tried to talk him out of it…

"That's a very bad idea, darling. You don't know them."

…but you know your father and his ideas about diplomacy and discussion…

"Oh I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm a great people person."

So he left me on the ship and went down to meet Tenat and Jup. He told them his name was Hans Olo.

Her son laughed. "Han Solo? Like the one in that show Uncle T. makes us watch?"

His little sister jumped up and down on the couch. "I like R2!"

Vala smiled at the two of them.

So Daniel, or rather, Olo, met with Tenat and Jup…and as I had warned him, it was not long before they tried to shoot him and steal the ship. Fortunately, your father had borrowed my special suit, so their weapons were useless.

Unfortunately, fighter ships sent by the Lucian Alliance had found us. And so Daniel had to come running back to me for help:

"Unlock the systems and get us out of here!"

"I told you so." I had.

The Lucians were firing on the Prometheus. Tenat and Jup had run off. But of course Daniel and I managed to get the ship out of there very quickly, and jumped to hyperspace before the fighters could do too much damage…

Both of us were relieved. Your father admitted he was wrong… "That was a pretty close call. If I had listened to you and not gone down to meet Tenat and Jup myself, we would have an intact ship and a crate full of naquadah right now."

"That's true…but it's alright," I told him. "At least we had a fun ride!" It really was fun. At least I thought so...

"So what happened after you escaped the fighters?" her son wanted to know.

Vala bit her lips.

"Well…I returned the Prometheus to the Tau'ri, as promised. They were kind enough to return the Alkesh—which they had fixed in the meantime—and we parted ways."

The five-year old put on a pout. "You didn't stay with Daddy?"

"No sweetheart, not that time. But," Vala added with a grin, "your father had made quite an impression. And I'm sure he kept an equally fond memory of me."

"Who kept a fond memory of you?"

Daniel had just walked through the front door, carrying a large grocery bag. "The others are unloading the rest of the food," he told Vala, then nodded gravely. "We probably need a bigger fridge."

"Daddy!" The little girl ran to him, grabbing his pant leg. "Mommy was just telling us how you escaped the lizard fighters in the 'metheus and she told you so and you thought she was stealing the ship but then you were wrong and then you fixed her 'kesh and said bye!"

Daniel kept a blank face for a second as he processed all that, then his eyebrows shot upwards. He looked towards Vala, who wore her best Cheshire grin.

"That's…interesting," he said slowly, "I'm not sure that's exactly, one hundred percent how it happened, but it's definitely int—"

"Of course that's how it happened, darling." Vala walked up to him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and the most innocent expression she could muster. "Don't you remember? And right after that you fought the knight and solved all the riddles and helped me get the Ancient treasure!"

The corners of Daniel's lips turned upwards. "Right. Now I remember."

"Remember what?" Jack was standing in the doorway, a similar-looking bag in his hands. "That has to go to the fridge, Danny-boy," he reminded the archaeologist, nodding towards the grocery bag. "Y'know what Carolyn did the last time you let her salad droop."

"Uncle Jack!" The two children let go of their father to rush Jack, whose face broke into a grin as he tried to keep them from climbing all over him. "Daddy remembers how he and Mommy first met," the youngest Jackson offspring informed him in her high-pitched, excited voice. "They were telling us about it."

Jack chuckled. "Oh, you mean about the time you kicked his butt and hijacked the Prometheus," he said, looking towards Vala, "or the time the two of you went playing with Ancient doo-hickeys and brought the Ori crusade to our galaxy?"

Daniel glared at his friend. Vala's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Uncle Jack is confused," she told the two wide-eyed children. "Why don't you two run outside and help unload the groceries, while your father and I set Uncle Jack straight."

While the three adults headed for the kitchen, a suspicious expression began to form on the young boy's face; crossing his arms, he turned to his sister.

"I don't think we're getting the whole story here."

She nodded conspiratorially, as she always did when he wore his suspicious expression. "What do we do?" she asked, excited at joining her brother on a new adventure. He pondered for a second.

"We ask a reliable source!" he decided, waving his index finger in the air. Just then, someone else walked through the doorway. The boy's blue eyes glinted mischievously. "Uncle T.!"

His little sister ran up to the Jaffa, jumping straight in his arms. "Uncle Muscles!"

She was not one to mince words. Putting a finger straight in the middle of his First-Prime sign, she fixed him with her wide eyes.

"Uncle Muscles…how did Mommy and Daddy meet?"

--the end--

A/N: I have no idea where that came from. Just from the wide-known fact that our memory is funny like that, I guess ;-). I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

And don't worry, this little piece did not take any time away from my working on other stories...it kind of came out of the blue, made its way to paper and got posted within the span of a day! If only the rest of my stories worked that way. Ahem.

Until next time!

Myosotis