Harry Potter and the Chamber of Ice-cream

Disclaimer: I don't own any books, let alone Harry Potter, and if you think I did, you must get your head checked. Oh, and I'm not selling brown paper either, just incase anyone was wondering. And I don't own DQ either! Soooo….. Ya….. Hope you like it!

Harry was running down the hallway, not yet in the Chamber. 'Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the HARRY MAN!' Ron, walking behind him, rolled his eyes.

'Harry, we're the only ones here, STOP RUNNING!'

'NEVER!!!!!!!' He started running faster. The yell was too loud and made a lot of rocks fall into an impenetrable wall. Ron looked to the wall were there was a sign that said 'DANGER! Do not yell too loudly. Signed, the Heir.'

On the other side of the wall, Harry looked around. Not seeing anything weird, he continued walking, all the time whistling the Canadian National anthem. The weirdest songs get stuck in your head in times like these.

He entered the Chamber and passed a statue. Then, he passed another statue. And another. And, oh, look at that! He has managed to pass another statue, people. This truly is a day to remember. And would you look at that? He has passed yet another statue! This boy is amazing! Well, this scene is boring. Let's add some rain.

The slight drizzle quickly turned into a downpour. Harry's hair was soaked. Then, he saw Ginny, lying on the wet floor. He runs to her in slow motion. And, suddenly, it gets too much. The rain, the slow mo, the, umm, snake heads. Everyone in the theater starts crying. Except for me. I laugh, because I am tickling my best friend beside me to death.

Tom shows up. Harry looks up. 'Hi!' He said brightly. He noticed a black book beside him. It said 'Tom's Book'. Tom calls the Basilisk to him. Basilisk appears out of no were.

'Ahhh.' Harry screams. 'It's a big snake.' He brings his hands up to wave them in the air, making Ginny fall back on the ground. The snake hisses. 'I have a wand.' Harry says, for no apparent reason.

'No, I stole it.' Tom says, smiling. They look up at the same time and see a dot in the sky. 'It's a bird.'

'No, it's a plane!'

'No, it's... SUPPER FOX!!!!! DUNNUNANUTNANA!!!' Fox starts flying faster to show off. A pole appears in the sky out of nowhere. Fox hits it. 'Awwww, the widdle turkey fell down.' Tom says in his most babyish voice. Fox wobbles over to Harry.

'Delivery for a H. Potter.'

'That's me.'

'Sign here please.' Fox holds out a piece of cardboard. Harry signs it. Hairie Pottie.

Fox hands him a lump of brown paper. Harry ripped it open. It's full of... BROWN PAPER! That is, unfortunately, the best present he has ever gotten. Even more than his dad's invisibility cloak, and, if you call within the next ten minutes, we'll give you another ball of paper half off. But, that's not all. We'll include some of our handy tape to go with your brown paper. And, to make your brown paper time even MORE enjoyable, we can throw in A CRAYON! That's right, you'll get tow brown paper balls, some tape, and A CRAYON for only 9.99 plus tax and shipping and handling. This offer is not available in stores, so call now!

Then Fox hands Harry another parcel. 'Open it, open it, open it, open it!' Wines Tom. Harry opens it and finds an old hat. Harry, Tom, and the snake crowd around it.

'I think, I think it's a hat!' Harry says in amazement. 'Wait, I think there's something in it!' Harry reaches in and pulls out a….

'A bunny rabbit?' The rabbit hopes away. The Basilisk gives him a carrot. Harry reaches back into the hat and pulls out a bouquet of flowers. He hands them to Tom. 'Daisies! My favorite! How did you know?' The flowers make him sneeze. That is the day that Lord Voldemort found out that he was allergic to flowers.

'How does he do it?'

'I don't know! It's like, magic!' says Harry.

'Who ARE you?' Tom asks, realizing he has no clue who the man doing the amazing tricks was.

'I'm Harry Potter!'

Tom's eyes turn to giant stars. 'THE Harry Potter?' He asks, amazed that he was actually meeting Harry Potter. He told himself that he would have to tell Wormtail about this. 'Can I have your autograph?'

Harry blinked. 'Errrr, ok.' Tom got out a piece of paper and a pen. Harry wrote his name. Airy Potar.

At his feet, the hat sneezed. A colorful string of snot came out and landed on Tom's feet. 'Ewwww! I got snot on me!'

Then, Harry said the most intelligent thing he had said all evening. 'I don't think its snot.' He picked up the end on Toms foot and handed it to the Basilisk. 'Can you take this and pull?' The large snake did what he asked. Harry saw that it was a long piece of yarn. At the end of the yarn was a pair of knitting needles. When they came out of the hat, they flew and stabbed the snake in the eye.

'NOOOOO!!!!!!! My snake!!!!!!!' Tom cried. He cried like a baby. Stories will be told of how pathetic he was when he cried that day. The snake fell over, dead.

'Poor snake.' Harry said. The hat sneezed again. 'You should get that checked out.' He was too preoccupied giving the hat his opinions on cough syrup to notice that it had sneezed out a… thing. Tom saw it. He picked it up. 'What is it?' Harry asked.

'I dunno. It's kinda pointy.'

Harry thought. What did he know that was pointy? A sword? No, it couldn't be that. This pointy thing had a hilt, and every one knows swords don't have hilts. What else is pointy? 'A fang!' He looked at the dead snake. He had fangs…. 'I must put it back!' He said.

In the back ground, Fox whispered to Tom, 'Why does he have to put it back?'

'Because he has a saving people thing.'

'I DO NOT HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE THING!!!!!!!!!'

Harry put his hand in the snake's dead mouth. He felt the 'fang' go into the gums. He brought his hand out. 'I put the fang in!' Then he realized that, when he had put the 'fang' in, he had gotten an actual fang stuck in his arm. 'Owwwww.'

He looked at Tom, who was knitting a very long scarf out of the wool that had come from the hat, and using the knitting needles that had killed the snake. He handed the scarf to Harry. 'Wrap it with this.' So Harry wrapped his arm with the scarf.

'It still hurts!'

'Harry, you have to take the fang out of your arm before you wrap it!' So Harry took out the fang and re-wrapped it.

Tom looked depressed. 'What can I do now? My snakes dead!'

'Well, you could work at DQ.'

Tom appeared hopeful. 'Ya, I'll start working part time…' a dream bubble appeared above him head. It consisted of a Dairy Queen sign, with the Queen part scratched out and the word Lord put in, so it now read Dairy Lord. 'Then I'll take over Dairy Queen! Think of all the free Ice-cream!'

It was only then that everyone realized what the rabbit was doing. It was eating part of the black book that said Toms Book. Tom started fading out. 'NOOOOO!!!!!! MY FREE ICE-CREAM!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!' Then, Harry was alone in the room except for the rabbit and the dead snake.