Heart Stopping

Sam B/Jules C.

Jules reaction to Sam being attacked and in the line of fire during Behind the Blue Line

I own nothing!

Updated because I noticed that some of it didn't load

All was going fine until …

"FALL BACK GO GO GO!" Sam came over the intercom

Jules's Heart stopped hearing Sam yell after the explosion, all hell broke loose over the coms.

"HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!"

"SAM! LEAH! Talk to me!"

"SAM Status Status!"

"GO! GO! GO! DON'T LET IT TOUCH YOU! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! WORDY GET WATER NOW!"

Chaos rained in her headset and it was a Jumble of everyone. Her heart was pounding and the fear she felt for Sam was hard to contain. It was all she could do not to get up from her place and go to him. She felt lost in the sea of emotions swarming her. Her heart breaking while listening to the stress filled conversation.

Confused by the emotions she was feeling she reminded herself that she had broken up with him! Her heart however was not listening to her brain and she held her breath listening to the chatter waiting to hear if he would ne EMS.

The next thing she hears is

"I gotta get this off!"

"What the hell is it?"

"Phosphorus."

OMG she thinks about what Sam had told her one night while doing renovations. Chemical war fair was popular and there was some nasty stuff out there.

"Who gets their hands on Phosphorus?"

"A lota stuff you can get your hands on in the black market but white phosphorus!?"

"Afghanistan, leftovers from the war with the Russians."

Jules remembers this conversation breathing hard she struggles to stay in her seat. Listening and waiting.

"So this guy is military!"

"Didn't break the skin! Your going to be okay"

Jules lets out the breath she has been holding, trying to focus on the information aoming in from HQ

"And if it had?"

"it would have gone into the blood stream and would have Damaged his organs!"

"Son of a Bitch!"

Her sentiments exactly, if she lost Sam she would shatter her heart would break. Even though they were not together anymore she loved him and always would.

At this point the information coming in was relevant and Jules had to suck it up and do her job. Hands shacking her voice tight with emotion

"Winnie Cross referenced all recent vets with criminal history…"

The Job continued and the subject was eventually contained, but not until Jules had her heart stop for the second time that day. The moment she heard Sam tell his story again and heard the pain her heart broke for Sam. She had been there for some of his nightmares. Held him while listening to him retell his pain. When Sam agree to go to center court she new her nerves would be streatched to the breaking point until Sam was safe and the subject contained, She never knew how much raw emotion Sam stored up until she watched him kneel by the subject crying over him as if he was his friend and in reality they were brothers, brothers in arms.

Jules was now crashing to with the emotional strain she had to hold in not only because of Sam getting hit with Phosphorus or his emotional but also because of the urge she had to go to him and comfort him after the end of the assignment.

Watching from a distance with the guys while he looked into his locker Jules wished she was strong enough to say to hell with the rules and support Sam the way he had always supported her. Instead all she did was pat him on th back as he walked by like she was one of the guys and not someone who loved him and knew how he was struggling.

Going home she was finally able to give into the pain and fear of seeing the man she loved hurt physically and emotionally today while she stayed her stubborn course to fallow the rules.

Regret came in many forms and tonight her pain amplified her failure to be there for Sam. Curled up on her bed looking at the Santurini Sky wall he had helped her paint she filed away this new regret, wishing she would just get up and go to his place to comfort him BE there for him, but the one thing she was good at perfect actually was being stubborn and she had made her decision there was no way she would change it even if it was shattering her heart.

Okay I hope it was good. It is a quick fic let me know what you think. ;)