This Time Around
We'll do it all
Her heart was racing, her breathing was ragged and everything that was once on the countertop in her dressing room was now on the floor. Makeup was spilled all over the floor, the vase that held her congratulatory flowers was shattered and the flowers were scattered and broken. She looked around at the mess she had made and started laughing. It was ironic that destruction she had caused so closely resembled her life at that point.
Everything
It had been three months.
On our own
He had been gone for three months and she was finally able to accept it and move on with her life. She waited night after night, hoping he wouldn't disappoint her another day. But she finally accepted the fact that he wouldn't bother to pick up the phone and call her. She accepted the fact that he wasn't coming back and that she was never going to get an explanation. She accepted the fact the Jude and Tommy were no longer Jude and Tommy.
We don't need
But three months isn't a long time and everything that had been hidden beneath her tough exterior had come exploding out with one look from him. He had so casually shown up tonight, acting as if nothing had happened, as if those three months didn't exist.
Anything
"You're all I thought about"
Or anyone
His words rang in her head over and over again and she was making herself dizzy by thinking so hard. If she was all he thought about he sure had a way of showing it. Nothing after three months and then he's back, it as enough for her to go insane.
I don't quite know
She sat down on the couch and cradled her head in her hands as she willed herself to calm down. She wanted so badly to tell him that she still loved him and that she never stopped loving him – even after he had left with no explanation. And no matter how hard she would try, she wouldn't be able to stop.
How to say
A single tear escaped from her eye and another soon followed after that. Before she could stop them, they fell faster and faster and soon, sobs shook her entire body. In the three months he was gone not once did she cry over him but tonight was different. She needed to let it all out. How I feel
As the tears streamed down her face, she felt her frame become enveloped in a familiar set of arms. Her sobbing automatically stopped and her breath hitched in her throat as the realization of whose arms she felt struck her.
I need your grace
He alternated between soft kisses into her hair and whispered words of comfort into her ear as she shut her eyes tight and leaned into him. She was afraid that if she opened them, he would be gone and she would have imagined everything that just occurred.
To remind me
He held her and rocked her gently until she calmed down. They sat in silence, neither one wanting to ruin the moment.
To find my own
"Jude, I'm sorry," he finally whispered out.
Those three words
She snapped her head around to face him. "What did you say?" she said in a low voice as she narrowed her eyes at him.
Are said too much
He opened his mouth to speak but before his words could come out she leapt from the couch and angrily paced the room. Her breathing started to become ragged again and she threw her hands up in frustration.
They're not enough
"I'm sorry?" Her pacing slowed down but she still couldn't stay still. "You've been gone for three months and the first thing you say to me is 'I'm sorry'? As if saying that will make everything okay?"
Forget what we're told
He stood up from the couch and made his way toward her. "Jude, just let me explain," he began.
Before we get too old
She stopped pacing and stood in front of him and looked straight into his eyes. "Explain what? How you made me feel like a fool waiting day after day for you to call? Or how you made me believe that you might actually love me back? That you might actually respect me enough to offer me something, anything." Her voice was cold and angry and he winced at the thought of having caused her so much pain. "Do you think that you can just show up and expect everything to be the same? That we could go back to the way things were before?" She shook her head slowly and said softly, "Because we can't."
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Her gaze moved to the floor as he took a tentative step forward. Hair fell in her face as he cupped the sides of her face with his hands and whispered, "I love you."
All that I am
She held her breath as she looked up at him. Her brow was furrowed and she bit her lips as she tried to comprehend what just happened. His eyes always gave him away and this time was no exception.
All that I ever was
"I've loved you since you were sixteen, Jude." He moved even closer to her that he could feel her breath against his neck.
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
"And I know that doesn't make up for what I've done, but it's a start," he said as he cocked his head to the side.
If I just lay here
She closed the distance between them and hovered over his lips as she said, "I think it's a pretty good place to start."
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?