Clare was never supposed to be that girl, the one with the eating disorder, but unfortunately life doesn't always turn out as planned.
She can remember the first time she starved herself, this time wasn't intentional, it was a Thursday. Clare had woken up to her parents screaming at each other about this and that and instead of listening she went out of the house.
Then she had ran into Eli before lunch and she couldn't stand to see him smirk but still need to give him more time. She spent the lunch period in the bathroom crying about how much she wanted Eli to be ready to be with her.
"Do you wanna go on a diet with me?" Alli asked while the two girls sat together on the bleachers, waiting for their gym class to begin. "I think I've gained weight! My favorite jeans wouldn't button this morning!"
Clare looked at her friend in slight shock. Clare always thought that Alli had the perfect body and was slightly envious of her curvaceous figure. If Clare dieted she would finally be in control of something in her life, her weight. " I'd love too Alli. I think I've definitely gained weight this year, especially since my parents started fighting and my mom stopped cooking dinner."
Alli smiled brilliantly at her best friend " Come over tonight and we'll work out the perfect plan and you can spend the night away from your parents."
The girls were sprawled across Alli's bed later that night as magazines laid strewn in front of them, along with calorie counters, and a sports training book Alli took from Sav's bedroom.
"Okay let's not look at these anymore because I'm getting depressed." Alli scowled deeply as they looked at a beautiful bikini model.
" Do you think Eli likes girls that look like her? I've seen a picture of Julia, Alli and she was beautiful! What are we going to do?"
Alli sighed deeply but pulled out a notebook. " So based on what we learned in biology we need to burn 3500 calories to lose a pound. I think we should aim to burn 7000 calories a week."
Clare bit her lower lip, thinking that maybe starving herself would be a good idea. " Alright so let's jog during free period everyday and then after school we can hit the weight room."
The girls smiled and were very excited to get the perfect bodies.
The dieting was going well and within two weeks Clare had lost six pounds and Alli had lost three in a half. Clare didn't tell her best friend that she had only been eating a yogurt, twenty baby carrots, and fifteen grapes a day because she knew it was wrong, but seeing the numbers on the scale made her so happy.
Out of the blue Darcy called and announced that she would be home in three weeks. She told Clare that she missed her, that she had been accepted at Tu for the winter semester, and that she and Peter had been talking again. Clare was happy that her big sister was returning but she always felt second best to her , always. Darcy was the pretty one, the perfect christian , and most importantly the thin one. Clare knew what she had to do and that was to lose ten pounds before Darcy returned for good in three weeks.
" You look kinda sick."Eli pointed out one day in English class when the misfits were working on a project. "Is everything going okay at home?" he asked worriedly.
"Yeah Clare what's up with you?" Adam added as he saw the circles around her eyes and the sickly hue her skin seemed to take on.
" Boys I'm fine. I just haven't gotten that much sleep lately because my sister, Darcy, she's coming home in a little more than two weeks and I'm busy getting our room back together. "
Adam patted her arm and gave her a soft smile "So basically you're just worrying yourself sick?"
" No. I'm just aiming for perfection." Those words sent a cold chill up Adam's spine, he knew Clare and he knew she wouldn't stop until things were exactly as she wanted them. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on but he knew for sure that something was not right.
Alli was getting tired of the dieting,she had never thought it would last this long and she surely didn't think that Clare should lose any more weight. The only problem with Clare was that she would not settle for anything less than perfect. "You look so amazing Clare. I think we should stop all this craziness. I mean I totally think we should still run everyday but I think all this dieting can stop."
Clare's head snapped around to look at her friend " You look fantastic Alli but you didn't have to lose as much weight as I did and I'm not ready to quit yet. I really want to lose five more pounds and then I'll stop."
Alli was worried about her friend but Clare was smarter than to do something potentially dangerous, wasn't she? " Just promise you went get too skinny on me Clarebear.
Darcy was home when she got in from school later that day and she looked even more beautiful than she ever had, her skin was the perfect golden brown and her smile was blinding. "Clare I have missed you so much." The girl told her sister as she gave her a tight hug. " You've changed so much!"
Clare couldn't help the envy that creeped into her when she saw just how thin her sister looked. Why couldn't she be thin? Why did she have to starve herself and work out until she almost passed out? " I've missed you too Darce!"
Darcy ruffled her sister' short curls " Why don't we make some Mac and cheese like old times and watch Gossip Girl?"
Clare nodded stiffly, not at all wanting to eat the macaroni. She would eat though, her sister had always made her feel better by being there, maybe this would actually help her.
The macaroni didn't help in fact it made Clare sick. After they had finished their food Peter came over and the two went upstairs while Clare ran to the bathroom. That night was the first time she purged and the first time she learned a dirty little secret she could eat in front of everyone she just needed to make sure she could get rid of it.
Hello readers! I really wanted to write a story where Clare was the girl with an eating disorder. I know that Clare may not appear to be the type but trust me when I say that an eating disorder has no preferences it is more than willing to take over any person's mind. I hope you enjoy this story and please tell me if I should continue. Thank you all so much.