Harry Potter Joke 1: Being Siriusly Serious

What the bloody hell do you mean?

Harry Potter Joke Archive

Composed by: iKoffeeholic

Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Lily Evans

Setting: Hogwarts

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling, in all her graciousness.

Summary:

James and Sirius joke around in the Gryffindor common room. Only a confusion of names and words offer them company.

iKoffeeholic:

I'm Koffeeholic. All I can say is…READ, ROFL, AND REVIEW!

It was a Saturday afternoon at the Hogwarts Academy of Wizardry and Witchery, where all of the United Kingdom's witches and wizards go to master the one thing that separated them from others—magic. On a lazy day like Saturday, most finished homework, studied, chattered amongst friends, or even went off campus in chariots. Others slept in, under their sheets in their beds. But as for the Gryffindor house, all were awake and occupied outside on the school grounds except for two third-year boys. Those boys were known as James Potter and Sirius Black.

In the common room they sat on the couch just talking. Then suddenly, Sirius had said something quite shocking to James.

He had spoken in a firm, indifferent, convincing voice, "James, I think I've taken a shine to Lily."

The other fired back in horror. "WHAT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" James threw himself back, nearly knocking off his glasses. He stood pointing a finger at his friend and continued, "ARE YOU EVEN SIRIUS?!"

The Black boy only gave a mocking smile. "No, I'm being Severus."

James shrieked harshly. "B-BUT YOU'RE NOT SUP-POSED TO BE IN THE GRYFFINDOR COM-MON R-R-OOM! YOU'RE S-S-SLYTHERIN! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THE PASSWORD?" This he screamed all so stutteringly fast before he went crashing to the floor.

"JAMES! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!" Sirius questioned as he rushed to James' aid. "I was only kidding!" He pulled James to his feet and dusted him off. "I'm serious! I'M SIRIUS!"

"Oh, really?" the vision-impaired wizard spat angrily.

"I'm truly sorry, James. I truly am." Sirius looked away. "I just didn't know you'd react this badly."

James accepted his friend's apology. "Well, I forgive you. But mind you, Lily is mine! You knew that!"

The Black boy nodded. "I did, but did you know Severus likes her as well?" He aimed a finger at a frosted window that gave a view to a grassy field. "He's down by the river with Lily hunting snapping-dragon flowers for a dreaming potion."

James was furious. "Grab your wand and come with me. We're going to show this pale clown who's boss. Remember that jinx we learned to set things aloft?"

"Yeah. Wingardum Leviosa," Sirius replied.

"That wasn't what I had in mind, but that could work." He exited the common room and headed for the river Sirius had pointed to.

"And exactly what are we going to do, James? Lift Lily away from him?" Sirius asked.

"Worse. Have him dangle from a tree!" Potter smirked.

Sirius added, "Sounds dodgy, though."

"What are you? A Hufflepuff? A Slytherin?"

"Most certainly not!"

"Okay then." The two were finally out of the Gryffindor tower and onto the school grounds, on their way to the flowing river. "And Sirius?"

"Yes, James?" the Black boy answered.

"To ease the confusion, how about we both call you Sirius Black? Never just Sirius."

"Sure. But at least my name doesn't sound like someplace for a witch to drop off a biggie," He laughed. "I mean Potter, James. Sounds more like 'Pot her janes!'"

James forced a chuckle. "Oh, look who's not being serious now!"

"Hey! You didn't say my last name!"

"I didn't even say your first one!"

The Gryffindor duo then roared with laughter as they happily ran beside the riverbanks to carry out their deed. They ambled closer to their plans, catching the pale boy and the redhead girl yanking flowers from the banks as they nipped back at their fingers.

The boys cried, "HEY, SEVERUS! WINGARDUM LEVIOSA!"

iKoffeeholic's Word:

You know, you should alert if you want the next jokes. And you should come to my page to vote on the one's you want to laugh about reading. There's going to be five.

And the dreaming potion—I wanted to call it the "Fantsytrance." (Fantasy Trance) But I didn't because it's hard for some to pronounce.