Disclaimer: Characters and settings are not mine. I own nothing, I make no money. We get used to it.
Warning: Extreme crack!fic. That is, insanity.
Author's Notes: Crack!fic drabble of absolute pointlessness. Written as a Christmas/Holiday present to m'friend Amblers, to go with Once Upon A Red Apple Clear, as that was rather short, too.
Review, review, and... review!
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"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"You're far too skinny to be Santa," snapped Petunia, and slammed her chimney in his face.
°
"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"I am not!" wailed Lily, and slammed her chimney in his face.
°
"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"We're not buying!" hissed Umbridge, and slammed Fudge's chimney in his face.
°
"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"The Headmaster wants his pajamas back when you're done," reminded McGonagall, and slammed her chimney in his face.
°
"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"You're supposed to wait until people are asleep," admonished Remus, and slammed his mother's chimney in his face.
°
"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"The fat suit looks you," snarked Snape, and drunkenly slammed his chimney in his face.
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"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"I was sleeping," mumbled Harry, and slammed the chimney pillow over his head.
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"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"Ach, 'tis a mad man," cried the Scot, and slammed his cottage chimney in his face.
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"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"Santa doesn't smirk like that," warned James, and slammed his chimney in his own face.
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"Ho, ho, ho!" boomed Sirius.
"Ya' sound like a eunuch," whined the pirate, and slammed the chimney cork back into the bottle of rum.
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"Ho, ho, ho?" offered Sirius.
"You put me on the naughty list," sulked Draco, and slammed his elf hat further down over his ears.
°
"Ho, ho, ho," muttered Sirius.
"There, there, there," consoled Chris the Cheerful Leprechaun Elf, and slammed his padded back comfortingly.