Hey all!
This is a JackxIanto story, so (mild) slash warning. There are also graphic descriptions of non-sexual child abuse. Happy reading and please review!
P.S~ A massive thanks to my Beta, FlowerPetalsToTheWind!!!!
Flashbacks/Dreams in italics
I sit on my hard, cold bed. The taste of blood lingering in my mouth.
The blood from my back wells up, dripping onto the mattress behind me, thick and red. It congeals into a pool, a pool that for me defines hatred and sin. It is days like these that make me wonder if life is worth living at all. When I hear footsteps approaching I quickly dry my tears, it will hurt more if I cry.
It hurts still, but it is not a bad one, he hasn't been to the pub yet. And as the wounds are reopened by the whip across my back, I bite my tongue and think of happier times.
Ianto woke up, panting. He had dreamt of his childhood for the first time in years. He sighed, no matter how hard he tried to push the memories away, they always lingered.
When Ianto entered the hub the next morning he went straight to the coffee machine and made a fresh batch.
He took the first mug to Tosh, her mug was a pale yellow. When he sat the mug down next to Tosh, she looked up from her monitor and smiled. "Thanks Ianto," Ianto smiled in return. He liked Tosh, she treated him like he was human and not just the tea boy.
When he had finished giving Tosh her mug, he headed down the autopsy bay.
Owen was mulling over the corpse of a weevil that he had found last night. This sounds normal, but the weird thing is that the weevil was found dead. Owen looked up from the corpse when he heard the clatter of footsteps on the stairs leading down into the bay.
"Ianto, finally!" Owen sighed as he took the first sip of his coffee. "I don't know what we would do without you!" Ianto smirked slightly, at least Owen acknowledged him, even if it was only because of coffee.
When Ianto exited the autopsy bay, he took a deep breath. Next up was Gwen, who did not treat him as human. Gwen had seen the way Jack looked at him, and she was jealous, really jealous.
She glanced up at Ianto as he set the mug down on her desk and flashed him one of the fakest smiles he has ever seen.
"Thanks Ianto!" She says, fake enthusiasm tainting her every word.
Ianto simply smiled shyly back and turned away
Then he took the final mug in his tray up to Jack's office, he knocked lightly.
"Ahh Ianto, do I smell you coffee?"
"Yes sir, good morning sir."
"How many times do I have to tell you, don't call me sir. It's Jack!"
"Yes…Jack." Ianto sighed; Jack was in a good mood. Today was going to be a long day.
Then Jack stood up and brushed past Ianto, but Ianto shied away. Jack turned and gazed at him with a confused look on his face.
"Are you okay? You look tired."
"I'm fine Jack, really." But Ianto didn't sound very convincing.
Jack walked over to the young man and started to rub his back, but Ianto breathed in sharply and stepped away.
"Okay, stop denying it, what's wrong?"
Curious, Jack reached out a tentative hand to touch Ianto's arm. Realizing Ianto did not mind this, Jack figured that his previous reaction had just been surprise. But when Jack once again went to rub his Ianto's back, the young man stepped away, just out of Jack's reach.
"Ianto?" Jack asked. "When was the last time Owen checked you over?"
"I don't think he ever has," Ianto asked looking slightly wary.
Jack did not reply, instead he just grabbed Ianto's hand a led him down to the medical bay. "Owen!" he called.
"What!" came Owen's indignant reply as he walked into the bay.
"Check over Ianto, Now!" Jack was really worried now.
Owen saw the look on Jacks face, "Okay, fine. I'll start with you lungs." He grabbed a stethoscope. "Okay, shirt off mate."
A look of horror past across Ianto's face, "Is that really necessary?"
"Yes, for crying out loud Ianto, Jack's the only perv 'round here." Owen rolled his eyes.
Ianto sighed and removed his Jacket, waistcoat, tie and shirt.
His back was to the wall at first, so Jack did not see the scars, but when he turned around, Jack gasped.
Ianto's back was riddled with scars. The wounds had obviously been inflicted a long time ago, they had healed but the deep scars still remained. It was like flesh had been clawed from his back. Jack had died many times but at least death had ended the pain, Ianto had had to live with this. But Jack knew that the physical scars weren't the only things, the mental pain would be horrific.
Jack walked over to Ianto a held him from behind. Ianto let out a strangled sob.
"Shhh, I'm here. It's okay, no one will hurt you now." Jack flashed Owen a look that clearly said 'leave us alone.'
When Owen left Jack sat down beside Ianto and just held him until he stopped crying.
"What happened?" Jack asked when Ianto stopped sobbing, enraged at the idea that someone could abuse
another so cruelly.
"My Dad," Ianto whispered. "He was an alcoholic, and he took it out on me.
Mum couldn't stop him, he hit her too. And worse, I am sure."
Jack silently swore to himself in that moment that he would hunt down and
painfully kill Ianto's dad. "Where is your dad now?" he asked, barely
controlling his anger.
"He's dead." Said Ianto, in a way that made Jack think he was reassuring
himself, reassuring himself that the monster who had tortured him was gone
for good.
Jack hastily stood up, pulling Ianto along with him. The team looked
slightly shocked to see a furious Jack dragging a shirtless Ianto across the
hub. But when they saw the scars their queries fell silent.
Jack sat Ianto down in a chair, and then sat behind his desk opposite him.
"I want to know everything, every minute detail of your life before
Torchwood." Jack poured himself a strong drink.
"Why?" Ianto was puzzled "What do you care?"
"I care more than you may ever know," Jack whispered. "If I know what
happened, I can help you heal."
"I'm fine Jack."
Jack stood up and banged his fist on the table. "No! You are not okay!" he
yelled. Then he realized that he was yelling, he sighed deeply, sat down and buried his head in his hands. "I just can't bear to see you hurt," Jack whispered. "I
just can't bear it." But before Ianto could react, Jack got up and stood in
front of the young, traumatized figure of Ianto. "Will you let me help you?" he almost pleaded, staring straight into Ianto's eyes.
"Yes Jack, Yes I will." Ianto just accepted that Jack would not let it go
and resigned himself to this fate.
"Thankyou." Jack said, trying not to give away any more emotion than he
already had. But as he looked up into Ianto eyes once more he could not stop
himself. He gently cupped the younger mans face with one hand and tilted his
face upwards. "No one will ever hurt you again." He stated. And he knew that
He would make sure this promise was kept.
Jack then lent down and captured Ianto's lips with his own. Softly and
tenderly they kissed, each reveling in the newness and wonder of it all.
After a long moment they parted, flushed and gasping for much needed oxygen.
"Wow," Ianto said. Then as if he suddenly realized what he had just happened and he gasped. "Oh no, what have I done?!" Ianto cried.
"Ianto, what's wrong?" Jack asked, confused. He thought that this was what
Ianto had wanted; they had been flirting for months.
"You don't get it Jack." Ianto said, now it was his turn to gaze up into
Jacks immortal eyes. "I was bought up a straight guy; my family would
disown me if they knew..." He trailed off.
"Ianto, for once in your life stop aiming to please others and just do what
you want to do!" Jack said indignantly. "Your family can just grow up and
get over it!"
Ianto groaned, "I think I am already in too deep anyway. Let's face it," he
gave a chuckle "I have liked you for ages."
Jack just smiled his famous Harkness smile and captured his lips in another
soft kiss. But he knew that he had a lot of work to do, breaking past
Ianto's shield-like exterior, getting let in. Of course, the number
one problem would be healing the scars that had tortured Ianto, from the
Inside Out.