A/N: Don't own 'em, just love to take them out to play with every once in a while.
Okay, so this nearly just wrote itself. It's a bit different from my usual fair, but I think everyone will like it. Please, leave me a review, add it to favorites. That always makes my day. :)
I'll Help You Find Your Way
"Nicky?" Greg asked in concern. He'd known the instant Nick had mentioned that Phil Kohler was the father of Whitney Kohler that this would be one of the bad ones. The ones that affected Nick deeply.
Nick was leaning back against his Denali – the replacement for the one destroyed by the exploding flower delivery van several months previously – his head resting against the passenger side window, eyes closed.
After seeing Rachael Beck's body to the morgue, Greg had sent Nick a text, inquiring if the older man was ready to go home. Nick had sent back an affirmative, saying he'd meet Greg at the Denali.
Straightening, Nick handed Greg the keys and got mutely into the passenger side of the S.U.V. The very fact that Nick was letting Greg drive confirmed Greg's suspicions about how deeply Nick had been affected.
Greg knew Nick was hurting. Hell, he was hurting, too, and he hadn't even been part of the original case. But he'd watched as Nick had invested himself emotionally then, too. Had been there to pick up the pieces and help Nick put himself back together, after discovering that both girls were dead, and only Eli Holt knew where their bodies were. Now he hoped that Nick could finally put it behind him fully. The bodies of both girls had been found. Closure was at hand for the girls' surviving parents, and hopefully Nick, as well.
Climbing into the Denali, Greg reached across the center console and squeezed Nick's hand reassuringly. Nick gave Greg a wane smile, before leaning his head back and closing his eyes again.
"Take me home! Please!" Nick's voice was barely above a whisper, and Greg could tell Nick was maintaining control of his emotions and his tears only with a great effort.
After bringing the Denali roaring to life, Greg merged with traffic on the road in front of the crime lab. Autopilot took over, and the fifteen minute commute to their house was quickly behind them.
Greg barely managed to get Nick through the connecting door into the house, before the inevitable breakdown happened. One moment, Greg was following Nick into the kitchen. The next, Nick had turned toward him with a strangled, "Greg!"
Catching Nick before the older man crumpled to the floor was no mean feat for Greg, as Nick out massed him by nearly fifty pounds.
Easing them both down to the floor, Greg wrapped his arms protectively around Nick, murmuring, "Let it out, Nicky! Let it all out!" as Nick sobbed uncontrollably. Greg felt his shirt becoming wet, as Nick's tears soaked into the material where his face was buried against Greg's chest. Strong arms clung to Greg's waist, nearly painful in their intensity, but Greg didn't mind.
Several minutes later, nose plugged and running, but sobs gone, Nick pulled back. He wiped his tears away with the palms of his hands, and gave Greg a weak smile.
"Thank you!" Those two words told Greg everything he needed to know. Thank you for finding Rachael's body. Thank you for bringing her home to her mother. Thank you for letting me let go. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for loving me. That and more, Greg understood from the two simple words uttered from the man he loved more than anything in the world.
Reaching out a hand to Nick, Greg stood and pulled the older man up with him. "I love you," was all Greg said in reply, it was all that was needed.
Wrapping his arms back around Nick, Greg murmured, "You hungry? I can fix some breakfast, before we go to bed, if you want."
"I just want to go to bed," Nick said quietly. Nick finally pulled away from him and trudged towards the bedroom. A bone deep exhaustion seemed to have settled over Nick, and Greg hoped that a good night sleep, and maybe some tender love making before work the next night, would alleviate it.
Reaching the bedroom just as Nick was reaching to pull his shirt off, Greg heard a barely contained curse and hiss of pain from Nick.
Remembering the partially burned map, Greg guessed what had happened. Holding out a hand, he said, "Let me see your fingers, Nicky."
Holding his hands out to Greg, palm side up, Nick hissed again, when Greg gingerly touched the pad of one of Nick's fingers.
"Why didn't you say something about this earlier?" Greg asked, eyes wide with concern, as he directed Nick into the bathroom. Nick's fingertips were an angry red. A couple of them had even formed very small blisters.
As Nick obediently held his fingers under the running water, he replied, "I guess the adrenaline kept me from feeling it until a little bit ago."
Pulling out a bottle of aloe vera lotion, Greg shook some into his palm. "You're lucky. It doesn't look too bad. They'll probably sting for a while, but this should help." As he spoke, Greg began to gently apply the lotion to Nick's burned fingers. "Next time, don't stick your fingers in a fire."
"I had to save that map!" Nick snapped at Greg, pulling his hands away roughly.
Greg knew it had been the wrong thing to say the moment it left his mouth. With a sigh, he said, "I know. I'm sorry! That was a lame attempt at a joke, and I'm sorry." Holding out his left hand, palm up, he gave Nick an apologetic look. Nick gave Greg his hand back, and let the younger man finish ministering to his burned fingers.
Tears were pooling in Nick's eyes again, as he said, "I had to make sure that little girl was brought home. Then we were so close, and I thought we still wouldn't be able to find her. Too much of the map had been lost."
As Nick spoke, Greg helped Nick out of his clothes, and shed his own. Guiding Nick from the bathroom to the bed, Greg pulled the covers back, and gently pushed Nick into bed before climbing in himself.
Once Nick had settled on his back, Greg lay down with his cheek on Nick's chest, ear over the older man's heart. He finally spoke, "She's home now, Nicky. Her mother doesn't have to wonder anymore. You don't have to wonder anymore."
They were silent for several long minutes after that, and Greg began to think that Nick had fallen asleep, since his breathing had finally evened out.
Then: "When I was sitting there with all those maps, feeling so lost, it occurred to me that I'd be feeling that way all the time, if I didn't have you." One of Nick's hands found its way to Greg's back. Touches feather light because of the burned skin on his fingertips, Nick allowed his fingers to ghost over Greg's back, over scars he knew almost better than he knew his own body.
"Don't worry, Nicky. I'll always help you find your way." Greg pushed himself up long enough to touch his lips to Nick's, then settled back again.
The slow steady beat of Nick's heart under his ear assured Greg that Nick was settling in to sleep. Within a few more minutes, it had lulled Greg into slumber as well.
There would always be cases that tested both men's limits, but as long as they had each other, they would find their way.