I do not own the Young Riders.
War was over, only just, but over still the same. Lou waited day in day out for her husband to arrive home.
She had not received any telegram nor had any officers arrived telling her any different. So she waited, hoping to hear the sound of Kid's boots arrive on their front porch.
Louise kept a pair of Kid's tatty old work boots by the door, just in case she had any visitors, she didn't want to seem alone. Alone was something Lou did not want to seem nor feel.
But that was exactly what she felt when she lay in her bed scared out of her wits. She was alone, and she felt hopeless, and try as she might her fear grew more and more each night.
At night she slept with the lamp on and a rifle lay a top of her, her hand firmly griping it in case she needed to use it quickly.
Kid had moved them down South soon after their wedding, and although Lou did not want to leave her other family, she did so proudly and supportive of her husband.
However Lou originally thought that Kid had moved them because he wanted to support the South, she never thought that he would want to join in on the cause.
They were newly wed's, young and with their whole futures in front of them, why would he want to risk that for the sake of being another gun on the battle field.
But Lou bit her tongue and stood by her husband, because she could see in his eyes that this is something he needed to do.
They were settled in their home for only a few weeks when Kid announced that he was joining the Confederates to fight.
He was gone for over a year when she saw him next. He came home for a week. They did not leave the bedroom for that week and Lou felt like she finally had her man back.
But as the days went on, she started to notice his blank stares and his edgy behaviour, she started to see that the man she had fallen in love with had long gone.
The war had changed him; Lou could imagine it changed them all. But it was Kid that was her worry, and worry she did.
.
.
The sound of approaching horses, and a lot of them had Lou running to the window. Was this it? Was Kid finally home?
She quickly straightened her skirt and blouse. For a split second she wondered if she should quickly change. But as she pulled the thin drapes back, she was both disappointed and confused at what she saw.
It was nearing dusk, but Lou could still make out the uniform of not the Confederates but the one of the Union.
"Why would they be here?" She asked herself out loud.
She quickly closed the drapes when she noticed that the men were dismounting their horses. Lou took a quick look around trying to think of what she could do, but her mind was a blank.
She could not think fast enough and stood frozen by the window, even the sounds of a man's boots on her porch didn't snap her out of her daze.
It wasn't until a loud knock at the door sounded out, that finally snapped Lou out of her daze and had her jumping in fright bringing her crashing back down to reality.
She quickly scanned the room, cursing herself that her guns were in the bedroom. Straightening her clothes out, she placed her shaky hand on the door and opened it to a tall dark man, wearing the blue uniform.
She actually had nothing against the Union, well that's a lie. They were fighting in a war against her husband.
Lou looked to the soldiers shoulder straps, to see that he carried two gold stripes on either side of the straps. He was a Captain.
"Howdy Ma'am, we are setting up camp for the night on your property, we are hoping you will give us your permission to use your water and spare us some food." The Captain asked sounding sweet and polite, but he and Lou both knew he was anything but.
Lou also knew that he was only asking because he felt like he had to, she knew that there really wasn't a choice for her here. But she tried anyway.
"Town is not too far that way," Lou pointed west towards the township, "Surely you can make it that far," The army Captain looked down at the old boots that sat at the door. He smiled to himself, wondering where this woman got off suggesting anything.
"Maybe your husband is at home, and we could ask him." The Captain asked, already knowing that this young beautiful woman was home alone. The thick spider webs that hugged the top of the boots confirmed that no man had put his feet in them for quite some time.
He looked back up at her, his eyes drunk in her slender, yet curvy figure. He couldn't help but lick his lips in the thought of what he could do to her.
"Yes, but he is out hunting. I expect him home any time." Lou said, trying with all her might to sound convincing. She really didn't like the way he was looking at her, and her mind went back to that room where Wicks had taken her against her will.
The sound of a baby crying had the army Captain looking Louise in the eye.
"You have a child here?" He asked thinking that maybe she was telling the truth, and he had read the situation wrong. Her husband could be home soon.
"Yes my daughter. Please can you just go? I really want her as far away from this war as possible." Lou tried to reason, hoping that he had a conscience.
"Haven't you heard? The war is over."
The Captain stepped inside, pushing Louise to the side, so he could take a better look around the small house. He was looking at all the signs that indicated that there was a husband, but he definitely wasn't here. And as something caught his eye in one of the rooms, it didn't matter to him if the husband was coming back at all.
A small yet very recognizable Confederate flag was staring the Union Captain in the face.
"You say your husband is out hunting?" he asked as he rounded Lou. Lou nodded, "Hunting the Union," he sneered, causing Lou to jump out of her skin.
Louise looked into hers and Kid's room, seeing that Kid's flag was visible to this suddenly angry Captain. Louise shuddered as she turned her back on the Captain and went to go stand by the door.
However an arm was around her neck in seconds and the Captain pulled her back and kicked her feet out from under her.
Louise fell to the floor with a hard thump. She tried instantly to scramble away, where? She did not know.
The Captain looked pleased with himself as he watched this defenceless creature try and scurry away. It urged him on seeing how frightened she was of him.
He undid his belt buckle, smiling as all the things he was going to do to Louise, entered his head.
Once the belt was free from his pants he cracked it down hard beside Lou, making her scream out in fright and cover her head. The Captain laughed before saying, "While my boys make camp out front, how 'bout you and I play house in here?" Lou cried as she thought of what was about to happen to her.
"You Southerners like your slaves, I'm thinking 'bout making you mine." He grabbed Lou by her wrists and bound them with his belt. She kicked and she screamed, as this man held her tight. But she was not strong enough and his brute force over won her feeble attempts.
With her hands bound in front of her, she knelt there in front of him. He smiled down at her liking the scene before him. He reached out and stroked her face then walked over to the lone chair and sat back in it.
"Now crawl to me slave," he smiled as he palmed the front of his pants. Lou cried as she did as he asked.
He unzipped his pants and freed his hardened self out in the open. Louise shook in fear but the sounds of Lily crying in her room reminded Lou why she had to do as this monster asked of her.
She was already on her knees, so she got down to her elbows with her bound hands out in front of her and crawled along the floor. Tears cascaded down her young face, and while others would find this heart breaking the Captain found this even more enticing.
"Now suck on my dick slave," he laughed as he held himself out in front of Lou's face. She was about to do as he had ordered but before she could, the Captain pulled her hair back with his other hand. "Even think of biting me, and I will put a bullet in your child while you watch." He warned before shoving himself deep within her mouth.
Five hours of torture went on for Lou. She was treated no better than an animal. She was ordered, beaten, abused, and degraded in every which way she could think possible.
He had broken her to the point that death crossed her mind. She silently cried, begging Lily to forgive her. She should have been stronger. She should have fought more.
The Captain left Louise, a crumpled mess on the floor, satisfied with himself, and with a promise to return with some of his men if she dared to escape.
Louise tried pulling herself up from the ground. Every part of her body ached and just as she thought that she couldn't move entered her head, Lily let out another wail.
Lily.
She was reason enough to get up off that floor. Lou had a feeling that she was all her baby girl had in this cruel world. She could not give up now and leave Lily alone in it.
Kid had already left when Lou found out she was with child. She thought many times to write him and tell him he was going to be a daddy, but Lou didn't want him being distracted while he was fighting, nor did she want to be the one whom pulled him away from a cause he felt so strongly about fighting against.
But maybe if she had, he would be here, and he would have stopped that animal coming in to their home and doing that to his wife, after all Kid had promised her that nothing like that would ever happen to her ever again.
Lou gave birth alone out in the barn. She had been down by the river when her waters broke, and only managed to get as far as the barn, before Lily made her way into the world.
If it hadn't been for Doc Brady, who had instructed Louise on what to do if that problem should ever arise, she would have been scared out of her mind.
Lou didn't venture into town very often. In fact she tried to avoid it altogether. She managed to become friendly with the family the next farm over and they would always gather Lou what she needed from town when they visited themselves. And although they thought she was very shy, they couldn't blame her from hiding away.
Before Lou went to console her distraught daughter, she grabbed her colt and her rifle from her own bedroom. She also grabbed her self some water and some left over biscuits from the kitchen.
Once in Lily's room she barricaded the door with the cot, pulling Lily from it once it was in place. She carried Lily to the far corner of the room, away from the small window. She knew that if the men outside wanted in, they could get in, but she felt safer being armed.
Lily's cries were calming, as her mother held her close. Not needing to free her bosom, as she was still naked, Lou placed Lily at her breast, so Lily could feed.
As Lou sat there, with Lily feeding franticly she was getting angrier and angrier. And although she knew that Lily was not to blame for what had happened to her, her anger was directed towards her all the same.
Her breasts no longer felt like the nurturing things that her creator had made them to be. Instead they felt like a man's chew toy, used and dirty.
Lou sat and fought the urge to throw Lily from them. She was ashamed at the hate that was directed towards her small daughter, but a small part of her was stronger and realised that Lily needed them to survive.
By mid afternoon the following day, the army had moved out and a relieved Lou placed a sleeping baby girl in her cot. Louise checked out the window just to be sure they were all gone before she pushed the cot out of the way, and opened the door.
The house had been ransacked, and by the looks of things, all of her food had been taken. Lou limped her way out of the door, her body still naked and a colt hanging from her bloodied hand.
She needed the outhouse desperately, so she made her way to the bedroom to get something to cover her body with.
Once she was bathed and dressed she let out a breath and set to work on tidying her house up. She couldn't have Kid come home to a mess.
After the house was done she set to work on the many chores that lay around the property. The horses needed to be fed and their stalls mucked out. She needed to feed the two cattle beasts, as well as the chickens and collect their eggs.
After that she got to washing all the linen, before she sat down to rest her sore legs and back. Lily awoke after a huge sleep and Lou once again sat there biting her lip as Lily fed from her.
Louise was surprised as tears streamed down her face, while her child she loved dearly rested in her arms.
She knew that things could have been worse last night, she knew that she was lucky to still be breathing, and Lily remained unharmed, and it was that, that she needed to remember.
This was life for Lou for the next eight months.
Rachel had written to her in that time, asking if all was alright, and telling her what the boys were all up to.
Louise was relieved that Jimmy and Cody were both safely back from serving as scouts in the army.
She was proud of Buck staying and becoming Teaspoons deputy. She was disappointed to hear about Jesse and his new found fame. She could only imagine that Frank was by his side leading him on.
Lou wrote back lines of carefully thought out lies. She told Rachel how happy she was and how much she was looking forward to Kid coming home.
She did not admit that Kid should have been home by now, and she did not write and tell her that she had a fifteen month old daughter that was also waiting for him to come home. She wanted that news to be Kids, and Kids alone. And most of all she did not tell her dear friend that she lay awake most nights scared that her monster was coming back for her.