"BWAHAHAHAAHAH!"
Noob Saibot slapped his thigh and almost fell over in the booth as his shadow clone leaned back and nearly laughed his head off, pounding his drink on the table as he did so. Scorpion continued to stare at the man across from him.
"He's, he's usually a better guy," Sub-Zero said quietly, staring down at his feet.
Noob Saibot gasped for air as he leaned back up, his laugh slowly diminishing.
"Ah, man, this guy! Am I right?!" he said, raising his beer up in the air.
"YEAH!" the clone said, the two clinking beers and falling over laughing all over again.
Scorpion scoffed as he watched the drunk kombatant across from him make a fool of himself. Being on good terms with Sub-Zero, he'd agreed when Sub-Zero had begged him to try and make friends with Noob Saibot, Sub-Zero's older brother.
"Uh, Noob? Can we talk? In private?" Sub-Zero asked.
"Huh? Wha-Whaddabout my buddy here?" he asked.
"YEAH!" the clone said, and yet again the two fell over laughing.
"NOOB! Come on! Clone, stay here and talk to Scorpion," Sub-Zero said, grabbing his older brother by the arm and pulling him out of the booth, leaving the clone and Scorpion alone. A moment of silence passed between the two as Scorpion stared at the shadow across from him.
"You do realize you're not really real, right?" he finally said.
The clone blew a raspberry at him.
OoO
"Noob! Noob, you're drunk! Come on, snap out of it!" Sub-Zero said.
"How-how-how many beers are on the WALL, man, how many beers are on the WALL?!" Noob said.
"Ugh," Sub-Zero sighed, "Of all the days, you have to get drunk today?"
"Bro-bro, brobrobrobrobrobro….. BRO! Bro, bro, you- you gotta- you gotta listen to- BRO! Bro, bro, bro, are you lis- BRO! Bro, are you listening, bro? BRO! Brobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobro, BRO YOU GOTTA LISTEN!" Noob said.
A scream came from outside the restroom door.
"Aw, man!" Sub-Zero said, dashing out.
OoO
"OOoooohhhhh, aaaannnnddd YOOUUUUUUU~ YOU GOTT TOOOOOOOOO….. YOU GOT TO BELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE!" the clone sang.
"Aw, crap!" Sub-Zero said as he saw the shadow clone atop the dinner cart, his sword swinging at his side as the horrified citizens hid in the corners and stared. Scorpion still sat fuming in the booth.
"Clone! Get down from there!" Sub-Zero said, rushing over and tugging on the shadow clones leg.
"EEEEBOONNNNNYYYYY!" a voice sang from behind him.
"Oh, no," Sub-Zero said.
"AAANNNDDDD EEEBBOOONNNNYYYYYYY!" the clone sang as Sub-Zero turned to see Noob Saibot also on top of a dinner cart and singing.
"WWOOORRRKIIINNGGG TOGEEETTHHERRRRR, IN PERFEEECCTTTT HAAARRRRMOONNNNYYYYY!" the two sang simultaneously.
"Frickin' idiots," Scorpion muttered, resting his head in one hand.
"FREEZE!" Sub-Zero heard somebody shout. He turned his head to see two frantic human police officers that had burst through the front door of the Korean restaurant.
"Great, now the cops are here," Sub-Zero said as the two police officers waved their guns around.
Sub-Zero pulled out his cellphone and dialed Stryker's number. It rang a few seconds.
"C'mon, Stryker, we need your help here," he muttered as the two Noob Saibot's sang and the two cops just stood there, freaked the heck out.
"Hello?" a very sleepy Stryker finally replied.
"Stryker! Good, you're awake! We need you to help us out!" Sub-Zero said.
"What, what is it? Is it Baraka?" Stryker said, alert.
"No, no, Noob's just drunk and the cops are here," Sub-Zero said.
"Oh," Stryker replied, going back to his sleepy tone.
"Do you think you can come over here?" Sub-Zero asked.
Stryker was silent for a few seconds.
"Stryker? Stryker, are you there?" Sub-Zero asked.
"Wha- huh? Oh, oh, yeah, I'm comin', hold on," Stryker said and hung up.
"EVERBODY CALM DOWN!" one of the cops screamed.
"We are calm!" Sub-Zero shouted back.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" the cop screamed, firing off a shot, causing all of the citizens to start shrieking.
Sub-Zero quickly froze the two by instinct, well, half by instinct, half just to shut them up. Normal kombatants would be able to break out of the ice pretty quickly, but it was like a freezing cage for normal humans. Sub-Zero sighed, glad to finally have some peace and quiet, despite Noob and his clone's constant singing.
"-Yaaawwwnnnn- Alright, alright, what's going on he-…. Oh, crap," Stryker said as he looked at the two frozen cops.
"Sorry, Stryker," Sub-Zero said.
Stryker groaned, waving Sub-Zero off as he walked outside to handle the police that were definitely gathering out there.
Sub-Zero sighed and turned back to Noob Saibot and his clone.
"Noob, get down from there already!" Sub-Zero said. He didn't want to have to freeze him because, sure, Noob was drunk so he couldn't break it as easily, but he might be able to break free and then he'd be really mad and Sub-Zero had never been much of a match up against his bro.
"Come on and hang out with us, they said," Scorpion muttered in the booth, "It'll be fun, they said."
Sub-Zero groaned and walked over to Scorpion, "Hey, do you think together we could knock them out? No fatalies, Scorpion! I just want to get them unconscious so I can bring them back home," he said.
"My pleasure," Scorpion gritted, standing up.
OoO
Unfortunately, two seconds later, an unconscious Scorpion lay sprawled over the ground. Outside Stryker struggled to contain the police.
"WEWT!" Noob and his clone yelled as they high-fived.
"Dang it, Noob!" Scorpion muttered, trying to think of a solution.
"Sub-Zero, I don't think I can hold them off much longer!" Stryker said, coming through the doors.
"I don't know what to do!" Sub-Zero said.
"Freeze him!" Stryker yelled back.
"He'll kick my ass!" Sub-Zero replied.
"Fine, let me handle him!" Stryker said, stomping forward.
OoO
Two seconds later, an unconscious Stryker laid sprawled across the ground. Sub-Zero had frozen the entrance so the cops wouldn't be getting in.
Sub-Zero groaned yet again, pulling out his cellphone and dialing Liu Kang's number. It rang for a few seconds.
"HOOOOOOOOHHHHH, WHO IS THIS?!" the very chicken-like man replied.
"Liu! I need your help! Noob's drunk again and he's knocked out Stryker and Scorpion!" Sub-Zero said.
"Oh…. I don't know, Sub…. I mean, I'm at the Bruce Lee fan convention right now," Liu said, his voice turning normal.
"Liu, I really need your help!" Sub-Zero said.
"Sub, I really can't help right now!" Liu said.
"Can you at least give me some suggestions?!" Sub-Zero replied.
"Oh, yeah, sure! I'd say just run for it and let Sub-Zero beat up cops till he gets tired," Liu said.
"But, Li-
"Oh! Gotta go, Sub, I'm getting Bruce Lee's autograph!" Liu said, and hung up.
Sub-Zero pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second.
"How?" he said aloud.
"JUUUSTTT MEEE ANDD YOOOUUUU~ AGAINST THE WUUHHHH-UHHH-OOORRR-ULLDDD!" Sub-Zero heard Noob and his clone singing.
Sub-Zero sighed. He knew what he had to do. He took a deep breath, let it out, inhaled again, and charged.
….
Two seconds later there was an unconscious Sub-Zero on the ground.