-Trouble-
Rating: PG-15 at most
Warnings: Spoilers people, lots of it, from anime and novel 8 specially, lots and lots of angst… and… oh and well boyxboy love, but really hehe. Also No beta and well, I still have problems with tenses T_T.
Notes: I just finished reading frigging novel 8… really; this is like my answer to it. Besides MasaKado needs more like asap!.
Disclaimer: Durarara!~ does not belong to me in any way, it belongs to the awesomeness that is Ryohgo Narita-sama 8D.
#01 - Motion
Masaomi runs -and runs and runs and runs- as the world becomes a mix of red and yellow and blue all around him and even then, dizzy and tired, he still runs to and for Mikado – never has he been able to save anybody he loved before; it's ok now, Mikado always been the only one he was truly meant to save-.
#02 - Cool
"Masaomi, that was lame… lame, even for you, yes Masaomi, now don't you ever try that joke and pose again… it's disturbing and horrible… no, it's not cool… at all, so shut up now."
#03 - Young
They remember their first kiss like the soft ripple of butterfly wings – so very sweet and a bit dirty with a side of children's innocence- and how soft their hands felt while holding each other on the way home.
#04 - Last
It feels as if the last strand of hope on his life finally snaps; Mikado's smile sends shivers of fear and sadness all through his body and soul.
#05 - Wrong
It takes them a second to realize their lips are lock together and their hands are shakily holding into each other; it takes them another one to remember it's wrong and sad and this could probably destroy their friendship but they kiss anyways.
#06 - Gentle
Mikado's hand on his is gentle, caring and far too perfect for his conscience to handle; so he leaves the warmth of Anri's eyes and Mikado's everything for fear of breaking them even more –he breaks them either way, into so many pieces and so deep it'll show the three of them what true pain feels like-.
#07 – One (1)
"I once told him he would never love another girl more than me… but then again… he will never, ever, truly love anybody more then he loves you, Ryugamine-kun."
#08 - Thousand
There are thousand things he'd say to Mikado if only he picked up his phone but sadly never happens and Masaomi stands in the rain a minute longer wishing everything to be just a really bad dream.
#09 - King
Everything burns -and burns and burns- and he feels as if the world is at his feet, as if he's the king of everything and everyone but… there's… sobbing of a child in the background: "Masaomi, Masaomi, Please save me!"; it doesn't matter, Masaomi won't save him, he has never saved anybody before, why would he do it for Mikado now?
#10 - Learn
There are many ways to charm a pretty girl, it's an art for which you need intelligence, confidence and lots of practice and any man can learn to do it right; now, the art to charm one Ryugamine Mikado, on the other hand, needs lots of patience, love, understanding of details and passion and only Kida Masaomi has ever truly master it.
#11 - Blur
It all happens so fast, it blurs around the edges some times; first they're walking home together, then they are fighting a war against each other and lying and pretending, then there is Masaomi leaving and then there's a black hole which Mikado names hell.
#12 - Wait
Their history has always been about waiting – waiting for the moving truck to come, waiting for the mails to get answered, for the chat hour, for the 'moving to Ikebukuro' day, for the end of the class, for Masaomi to come back… for Mikado's sanity to finally die…
#13 - Change
It finally settles on Mikado, as he walks home all alone, how far away Masaomi is truly going from him and how desperate he is to reach out and change everything back to the way it should be.
#14 - Command
"Look at me and for the first time don't lie" Mikado's voice is cold and strong and his words are clearly a command but Masaomi cannot look up for he knows the truth is not an option.
#15 - Hold
"I like to believe everything that happened to us was for this very moment to exist" Mikado responds by holding Masaomi tightly to his chest.
#16 - Need
They're always together not because of routine or loneliness but for the raw need of their souls to exist around each other.
#17 - Vision
He holds into Masaomi's bloody form to try and shake away the horrible vision and realization from his mind but the smell of his friend's blood, the sound of people running and Anri's sad eyes won't let him pretend anymore.
#18 - Attention
-'…And then you kneel down and have all of her attention on yourself, touch her face gently, like this, and then you….' – "Masaomi, you don't… this is embarrassing… I don't… you don't really… need to be… this close to me… really…"-'Yes, I need to…'- "Wait… Masa-ugh…oh…" -'Indeed.~'-
#19 - Soul
They have this thing with love, this thing-agreement-contract which says they're through with it; they don't need any realizations to make them fall in love, because they and love are good, they and love understand that's how the whole soul mates business works.
#20 - Picture
Behind their perfect picture of friendship and smiles, there are secrets and pain and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of the idea of forbidden love.
#21 - Fool
-Masaomi… please… I love you. I love you. -Mikado feels more like a fool since, even with this, 'Bakyura', as always, never answers.
#22 - Mad
He loses himself in a way far deeper and dark than Masaomi -or anybody- can imagine but still the blond boy promises to save his pure, beautiful Mikado from madness – what he does not know is: the true Mikado has always been mad-.
#23 - Child
They were children once, children who loved and believed and wanted nothing but to stay with each other forever –Mikado wishes they could go back to that time but sadly admits it's just a foolish dream lost in time that'll never be again.-
#24 - Now
They both hold into it like a life line, the feeling of comfort and security of their 'love triangle', as long as it helps them denied and send to the back of their minds the want building up all over their bodies… as long as it keeps them safe from each other right now.
#25 - Shadow
Walking side by side, the huge city of Ikebukuro going up and up ahead of them, attention only on each other's laughs and happiness, makes them blind to their shadows trying hungrily to eat their dreams away.
#26 – Goodbye
"Goodbye Masaomi…" the blond screams in desperation, hands holding shakily to his chest, heart pounding loudly on his ears and breath lost as the image of flames consuming Mikado burns itself into his memories –it's not until everything's seems completely lost that Masaomi realizes what the dreams were preventing him from-.
#27 - Hide
He hides behind half smiles, silly jokes and stupid antics for Mikado to never notice the darkness eating his life –Mikado may be oblivious to many things but he's very aware of Masaomi's sadness even when neither of them dare to say it out loud-.
#28 - Fortune
She has always been their lady fortune, their middle ground, the gravity holding their feet to earth and more than anything she has always known first: 'It was never a triangle Kida-kun'-'He's not coming back Ryugamine-kun, he's not coming back.'
#29 - Safe
Mikado holds him close, trembling, broken but trusting and honest and finally not blind; Masaomi has never felt safer.
#30 - Ghost
They linger like a ghost, the long gone memories of freedom, innocence and selfless friendship, hunting and taunting Masaomi with love, warm light and childhood games of catching dragonfly dreams off the sky.
#31 - Book
Mikado's really good at pretending, smiling and hiding away and it's why he never judges a book by its cover –it is why he never dugs deep meanings from Sonohara, why he never tells Masaomi he knows a pretender when he sees one or why nobody notices him slowly losing his mind-.
#32 - Eye
"You must love Kida-kun so very much to do all of this, Ryugamine-kun…" the bright blank stare directed impassibly at Izaya's face and the voice dripping with cold and nothingness erase, for the very first time, the smirk out of the informants face –"I do."-
#33 – Never (2)
"Kida Masaomi, is it right?... well you see, you left him a long time ago and now, as you can clearly understand, I am here and I'll stay with my sempai forever, he does not need you, he is so much better now and I'll never leave him… I am not like you."
#34 - Sing
Masaomi's twirls around, laughs cheerily and sings off-key horrendously loud, Anri playfully giggles and Mikado scolds but smiles all the way up to his ears –everything is so very perfect it's almost painful to see-.
#35 - Sudden
He stands there and everything falls into place all of a sudden with a terrifying sound of doom; Mikado's smile is all kinds of wrong, the fire and blood looks so real it hurts and Masaomi feels his life and heart drained from his body so fast it makes him nauseated.
#36 – Stop (3)
-Mikado, Mikado, Mikado, please, I am so sorry, I love you, please, I love you, I miss you, I need you, Mikado, Mikado, Is lonely here, Mikado, please, please...- he stops himself halfway and, as he cries into his hand, one of his finger falls heavily on the 'delete' key.
#37 - Time
He waits on a crowded unknown station for a person that probably won't recognize him, -but Mikado waits for Masaomi anyways, his best and only friend,- and laughs in relief as the now blond boy shows himself as if time haven't pass between them and offers Mikado his hand with a smile and a really lame joke.
#38 - Wash
He washes the blood from his hands, smiles back at his reflection and knows his dollars will be the same once more and maybe the voice in the back of his mind is right –"Maybe if you destroy them and create everything anew, he'll come back to you…"- that torturous voice that sounds so very much like Masaomi's.
#39 - Torn
Masaomi's torn between finally laying out the truth eating him alive or keeping Mikado forever happy, pure and oblivious –he fails at the first one and the second was never there to begin with-.
#40 - History
First they were children playing, then friends, then best friends, then classmates, then strangers -and went through happiness, love, laughter, triangles, lies, pretend, wars, loneliness, abandonment, silence and insanity…- and all Mikado wanted was to make everything all right again.
#41 – Power (4)
"You aren't as powerful as you may think…" she says to Izaya one day, softly, deadly serious "…You cannot control them completely… not even you can control love."
#42 - Bother
Mikado's life has always been dull, meaning and colorless so why would Masaomi's silly antics bother him at all? –Masaomi brings color and life to his simple existence and Mikado will always be grateful.-
#43 - God
Masaomi sits there holding his hands to his face while praying desperately to a god he never actually believed in to forgive him for taking away his –beautiful, oh so damn beautiful- Mikado's light –sadly, god cannot forgive him for taking away something that was never truly there-.
#44 - Wall
It finally comes to slap Masaomi right on the face until much, much later; when his Mikado is gone and Anri won't look at him in the eye… it was him who built the wall between them.
#45 - Naked
Everything lays naked, simple and entirely sure in front of them and the fear of 'taking' is so great they turn around and run away from happiness as fast and far as they can.
#46 - Drive
Mikado sits through the train ride with his hands shaking on his lap, his heart pounding loudly on his chest and a hope so great it makes him delirious- he's so stupidly happy to see Masaomi again his soul can't take the joy any longer; since from that moment on, once again, can his life be truly complete-.
#47 – Harm (5)
'It has never been me Kida-kun… but I don't hate you… I could never hate any of you…what you've done, the choice of leaving… living with those consequences is part of growing up and Ryugamine-kun made his choice too, we can't change it.' Masaomi wonders if she really means it as Saika's still pointed right to his chest.
#48 - Precious
"You have to always protect that which is most precious to you" are the words Heiwajima Shizuo says and Masaomi engraves them to his mind as an oath to Mikado.
#49 - Hunger
It's what drives him to push Mikado against the wall and kiss him desperately, sloppy and unkindly until they're panting, disoriented and hard and maybe just a little bit crazy too.
#50 – Believe
"Everything will be all right, trust me in this… I know they will be fine, they love you and each other very much… it's going to be fine… it's going to be fine…" Anri smiles and nods at Celty-san but wonders if the woman realizes she's trying to reassure herself as much as her.
Finito.
Extra notes:
(1): Saki said to Masaomi he would never love another girl more than her, I am not the biggest Saki fan out there, by far, and I found this part very creepy but still like it, so yeah, it is her talking to Mikado~.
(2): Yes, Jealous!Possessive!Aoba is magnificent awesome love~! I love that sadistic creepy boy with a passion and I can see him and Masaomi in a battle for Mikado's love 8D.
(3): Idea came from the saddest, prettier, by far most perfect MasaKado comic from Pixiv... it makes me cry every damn time.
(4): This is Namie speaking to Izaya, yes, she ships MasaKado in my head, it is nice xD.
(5): I have this thing for Anri finally going to those boys and just slay them to submission, really, someone needs to do something soon and it better be her! -jealous Anri is absolutely hot too-.
And so, thank you for reading, sorry once again for my lame/bad English and tenses and just me in general and for the love of god, we need it, let's all GO SPREAD THE MASAKADO LOVE x3~!