Author's Note:
When I started writing this book the questions in my mind were: Is love with a married man, or someone who is unavailable, more intense? Is that a doomed relationship? Does it always end badly?
I wondered…. what if that love is so strong and so destined that fate will eventually bring them together?
Explore the tale of Mark and Viva and find out….
I hope you enjoy this story. Please share your thoughts with me.
Love,
Xiomara (pronounced zee-oh-mar-uh)
I am working on more stories on my blog, Contemplating Eden: the quest for love
Contemplatingeden dot blogspot dot com
1. The Alcove
Monday came, not all too soon. The weekend had been agony for Mark,
for it had brought him an epiphany. He was truly, madly, deeply in love.
Mark delighted in just being in the same space as Viva, but she avoided
him, smiled pleasantly, spoke only what was required of her and no more. He
owned the company, he was her boss, but he could no more impose his presence
on her than he could make rain in the desert.
He was desperate to talk to her, to share, to analyze this new found
devouring need he recently discovered he had . His eyes pleaded with her. He left a
funny card in her purse, coffee at her desk. He even risked sending her roses, as peach
as her soft lips. His eyes were hollow from lack of sleep, his hands shook as he
fumbled with the antacids he constantly popped in his mouth.
Viva had had the same epiphany as Mark, and was winded by the avalanche of
her emotions as well. She fought each minute of the day to function with some
semblance of sanity. Her cheeks hurt from trying not to cry, not to smile. Each day of
that week was a battle that seemed unending. As she walked out through the revolving
glass door of San Francisco's Embarcadero Center on Friday, her throat was parched,
and her gut felt like a prize fighter's punching bag. She walked dazedly through the
Financial District and headed toward North Beach, the city's Italian section. With small
steps she climbed the hill on Vallejo Street where she lived. She was only twenty three
years old, and her image on a car window parked on the street validated her looks. She
was the epitome of the young upwardly mobile professional of the eighties. Viva was
decked out in a chocolate colored suit with a matching coat. A man walking downhill
past her glanced at her curiously. In spite of her blatant youth, her heavy steps
and her hunched shoulders made her seem like an old lady. Viva avoided his gaze and
stared at the pavement instead. She let out a long sigh of relief as she neared her flat.
She had survived this rollercoaster week after all.
Viva's steps were slow as she fumbled for her house keys in her Gucci purse.
Finding them, she closed her purse and looked up toward the marbled steps leading to
her Victorian flat painted in birthday cake colors. Her eyes widened slightly as she
looked up. It was a moment before she found her voice. "Mark!" she said quietly.
He sat there, just looking at her. Viva knew she should turn and walk away,
but her feet were riveted to the sidewalk. She kept staring at him, in her mind,
caressing the cheek forbidden to her.
"Just let me look at you Viva. You don't have to say anything, just
let me look at you without having to explain it to anyone." He raked a hand through
his sun kissed hair. "Jeezuz!!" He pinched the bridge of his brow with his thumb and
forefinger. Shutting his eyes tightly, his tone was defeated, "I die when you're not
around, I see your face when I close my eyes, I see you everywhere, in everything…"
Viva ascended the stairs and sat with him. She laid her forehead on his
shoulder, her root beer colored hair falling across her face like a silken curtain A tear
dropped onto his sleeve. His arm gently enfolded her and with an aching tenderness,
he stroked the tresses that fell just below her jaw , "I love you Viva," he whispered.
They sat for a long time before Mark lifted her chin with his finger and kissed
her gently. He kissed her eyelids, her nose, the dimple beside her lips. She felt his
passion deepen. Tentatively, he traced the outside of her breasts. Viva drew a sharp
breath. His tongue parted her lips. He explored every hollow of her mouth.
Unbuttoning her coat, he drew his hands to her warmth. His kisses trailed down to
her neck. He felt her racing pulse in the hollow beneath her ear.
Viva was on a spiral going upward. She unbuttoned her silk blouse and
boldly placed Mark's hand on her heaving breasts. "Viva…my…love…" he cooed,
as he freed her breasts from their lacy confines. He lightly palmed her nipples and they
pebbled with pleasure. His mouth came down and replaced his hands. He laved and
suckled, teased with his teeth until she thought she would burst.
Mark's head came up abruptly and he drew a large gulp of air. "I can't hold on
much longer my love," he said breathlessly. She already felt bereft, as he wrenched his
mouth from her. Awakening from her passionate daze, she surveyed where they sat.
Good God! They had almost made love on the front step. Drawing her coat tightly
around her, she grabbed her keys and stood up. Weak at the knees, Viva quickly
stepped to the door and jammed the key into the brassy lock.
"Come inside," she said not looking at him. She sensed his hesitation and
peeked sideways at him through the cascade of her short bobbed hair. He was trying to
look at his watch.
"Viva, I wish I could, but my parents are coming into town for dinner tonight,"
Mark said dejectedly. It sounded like an excuse and he knew it.
Viva's heart sank. So this is how it would be! Dammit! She shoved the door
open and tried to get inside, fast. Mark held her arm in a steel-like grip, "No Viva! I
know I have no right to be with you. I know that! Don't you know how much torture I
have been through this week!?" Viva tried to shrug her arm from him.
"What about me? I'm supposed to just stand here and accept this?" Viva let her
gaze linger on his quivering lips still warm from her kisses. She hated herself for
wanting more. "I came here just to see you, nothing else." Mark replied.
"I could not face another day not having my fill of just looking at you. I did not intend
to hold you, just as I did not seek to fall in love with you. Don't you know it's almost
killing me to know that I cannot have you? I want to wake up with you, I want your
smile to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep. "
His jaw clamped and a muscle worked on his cheek. "I do not love Robin,
Viva. At least I know now that I have never loved anyone before you. I wish to God
that I could just walk away from my wife and be with you. I wish we could just ride
into the sunset and live happily ever after. But I'm not such a cad that I would walk
away from a pregnant woman because I don't love her!" He pulled Viva to him,
cupping her face in his hands, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "No, the timing is
not right, but that doesn't mean that we can't fix it later."
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Viva hissed. In her heart, she did not
feel these awful , hateful words. "I have come too far to become your mistress….your
FUCKING whore!"
Mark flinched at her accusation. She was right. He could not ask her to be
patient and wait for his life to be set aright.
"Is this what you really want?" he asked, a silent plea in his eyes.
"I don't know, Mark…" she said, exhaling deeply as she spoke.
"I want to stay here all night, all day, and the next and the next…to sort this out.
I want you to have no doubts. I want to make you feel safe and happy, no matter how
long it takes. But right now, I have to go." His last words were more sighed than
spoken.
"Sure," she said sarcastically, "Kiss me, tell me you love me, how much you
want to make me happy…then, gotta go Viva!" She yanked harder this time and freed
her arm from him. He caught her again and this time held her with both hands.
"Damn you!" he screamed and forced her to him. Viva stood rigidly. "Please
Viva. Can we reason this out? Think this out?" He released her slightly and searched
her eyes. She wouldn't look at him. Whichever way she turned, he moved his face in
in front of her. He wiggled his eyebrows, crossed his eyes, he rolled his head backward
like a limp doll, and finally, Viva burst out with an unwilling laugh.
"You need serious therapy Mark!" she said, grinning at him.
"Does that mean we can talk about this some more?" he asked, like a child
begging for a second helping of ice cream.
"Maybe…"she said coyly.
Cocooned in the marbled alcove beyond the steps, facing Viva by the beveled
glass door to her flat, Mark's eyes grew solemn. "Viva, if I have to face another day
without you, I think I will die. Nothing matters without you. You may not want to wait
around until my life is straightened out, but I will not let you go." He drew her in his
arms again and held her with a ragged sigh. He kissed her hair, her face. She kissed his
neck and his chest through his crisp shirt. His hands roamed over her breasts, caressed
her back. He fitted her between his thighs and pressed his bulging manhood to her
belly. He cupped her buttocks and kneaded them hungrily. Hiking her wool skirt up,
he thrust his thigh between her legs and let her ride him. With trembling fingers he
massaged the pearl of her pleasure and she grew dizzy with desire. Their relentless
kisses touched every surface they could reach of each other bodies. It had never been
like this for either one. Viva unzipped his pants and slipped her hand inside.
Hesitatingly, she touched him. He had grown enormous.
Mark was wild with desire and desperate for release. He slipped inside the
elastic of her wet bikini panties and slid his finger up her sheath. "Ohhhh," she
moaned. It was the siren's song to his ears.
"You're so wet for me my love," his tongue flicked her ear. "Not here, not
now, not like this. I want our first time to be unforgettable. All I want at this moment
is to send you over and watch your beautiful face."
Her hand withdrew from the confines of his pants as he increased the ardor with
which he stroked her. With his left hand, he held her to keep her from falling. His
right hand continued that rhythm that simulated another kind of loving. He watched her
closely as she reached that blissful oblivion and sagged against his hands. There was
marvel on her face as she climaxed. She had never known one. She didn't expect it.
"Oh Mark…Oh Mark…" she said in short gasps. "I never….I never…"
"Hush…..shhshhhhhh." He kissed the hollow of her neck. "There will be many
more. It can only get better."
"What about you?" Viva's hand reached down to him. The hardness was still
there. Unbuckling his belt, she freed him. The look on her face hovered between awe
and curiosity. She ran her fingers like butterflies around the smooth, rigid column that
hung between them. Mark watched her face as she explored him. He enclosed her
hands with his and tightened her grip around him. Tightfistedly, she drew his throbbing
shaft toward her, then back to him. Again,and again.
"Not here…Vivahhhhh!" he pleaded.
"Yes, here Mark!" She smiled instinctively, sure of her power over him.
Her one touch could have sent him over. He was surprised he lasted more than
a dozen of her strokes. Mark had had his share of lovers, but none had Viva's power to
catapult him over an endless sky. He pulled her panties halfway down her thighs,
intending to take her then. "VIVA! My Viva…." He groaned as he spilled his seed
over her curly nest, her thighs and those impossibly pink lace bikinis. "I c-c-can't
begin to tell you…"
"Don't…"Viva hid her face on his crisp, white shirt and inhaled his aftershave.
"Will you see me tomorrow…..please, Viva?" He was prepared for her refusal.
She didn't answer at once. She was lying to herself. If she said no, and he
showed up, she knew she would go anywhere with him. If she said no and he didn't
come around, she'd be crying all weekend. Viva gave Mark a dazzling smile that lit
her eyes and said, "Maybe!"
Mark understood. A weight lifted from his chest. He was whistling as he drove
off. He would see her tomorrow.
As Viva closed the door, she leaned against it. She was happy one minute, then
doubtful the next. So this was how it was going to be.