Note: This is the first time I try to write a story. In addition, English is not my native language so there might be grammar or spelling mistakes.
Lyrics by ABBA: „Slipping through my fingers"
I don't own Rachel, Naomi, Dan, Jordan or any Animorph-related characters.
Slipping through my fingers
Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
Naomi stood at the window and watched her eldest daughter leaving for school. Before walking around the corner, Rachel turned around one more time to wave her goodbye.
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
It was strange how much Rachel had changed over the past two years. She had become so serious and there was a darkness in her eyes that never had been there before.
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
She wouldn't tell her what was wrong. Naomi had already talked to Dan and Jordan about Rachel, hoping that she might have told them something about her problems. But they didn't know anything more than Naomi herself knew.
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl
Yes, Rachel had once been funny, but recently... She almost never laughed and when she did her laugh was often hard and grim. What had happened to Rachel's carefree laugh?
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
Sometimes Naomi tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. She just tried to talk to Rachel about normal stuff like the school, but when she saw Rachel's eyes she knew, that it was just that – pretending.
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
It seemed like she was never able to hold Rachel for a long time. She was always out with her friends. One or two times Naomi had even noticed that Rachel seemed to sneak out at night.
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
What was Rachel thinking? Why didn't she tell anyone? Sometimes Naomi felt like she was about to guess – maybe trouble with a boy? A teacher she didn't like? But then she saw something in Rachel's behavior that didn't fit at all – something that told her that she had guessed wrong.
Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
This morning had once again showed her how much of a stranger Rachel had become. When she came to eat breakfast with her mom and her sisters she had looked so tired. No „tired" wasn't the right word. Exhausted was the better word. And somehow she seemed shaken, maybe even scared. Of course Rachel tried to hide this, but Naomi could have sworn that Rachel had sneaked out this night again.
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
Naomi often felt guilty now. She should have noticed that Rachel had problems in the very beginning. She should have found a way to help her. She should know what was going on. Once she had considered talking to Mr. Chapman about this. But when she had suggested it to Rachel she had looked scared again and Naomi knew that this wasn't the right way.
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
She had planned a trip to a new amusement park in another town for the last weekend. But when she told Rachel, she just said she had to learn for a test with Cassie and couldn't go. It was always like this: Rachel went away, telling everyone she wanted to help Cassie in the barn or learn with her, or maybe that she had to do a school project with Jake or Marco. But at the same time her grades just got worse...
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Naomi was losing her daughter, no matter what she tried to help her. But what could she possibly do, if Rachel never told her anything?
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
By now it was impossible for her to guess what had happened. She was almost certain she knew the exact day whan this begun: One friday Rachel had returned from the mall, looking terrified, her clothes dirty. From that day on things only got worse...
Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...
Slipping through my fingers all the time
A week ago, Rachel had looked almost happy. She had come home from a hiking trip with her father in the town he lived now. But even when she was happy the darkness never left her eyes.
Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...
Naomi looked one last time at the corner where her daughter had disappeared. Maybe she should talk to Dan once more. Maybe Rachel mentioned something that weekend. But even while she tried to hold on to that hope and prepared for work, she knew deep inside, that Rachel hadn't said anything.