Here's a little parody about an angstly grisly deadly wound. Read and hopefully have fun with it.

OOC Character 1 = Max

OOC Character 2 = Fang

OOC Character 3 = Iggy

OOC Character 1 and OOC Character 2 were happily together after their newfound love blossomed like an atrociously ugly flower.

"Oh, I love you!" OOC Character 2 said to OOC Character 1.

"I, like, love you too! Amazing!" OOC 1 said back. They fondled and loved each other very, very much. Suddenly, a drugged-up gunman shot OOC 2 in the stomach. Naturally, they were flying, so OOC Character 2 fell from the sky and smashed onto the parking lot below.

"NOOO!" OOC Character 1 cried. She swooped down to rescue OOC 2 while fighting back tears. She ignored what injuries she found and forcefully pulled OOC 2's head into her lap.

OOC 2 sexily coughed up blood, because the bullet magically transported itself from his stomach into his lungs.

"OOC Character 3! Help me with OOC 2!" Suddenly, OOC Character 3 walked through the fog on the edges of the story into the plot.

"Somebody called?" His fogged blue eyes circled around their sockets pointlessly.

He gave OOC 2 an implausible sidelong glance and gasped.

"Oh, poor OOC Character 2! OMG! Like, he's got a fractured femur, three broken ribs, puncture wound to the stomach and lungs, abrasions, RR x 22, A&O x 2, HR x 566, dilated arteries and capillaries, he really needs to make a #2, he's spurting blood in many places and his head has a boo-boo!"

"NOOO!" Cried OOC 1 again.

"It's okay! I can fix him!" OOC Character 3 rushed to OOC 2, gave him a Band-Aid over his boo-boo, kissed it, and declared "All better!"

"Like, thanks, man" said OOC 2. He gathered himself, shrugged off the sobbing OOC Character 1, and flew away to buy a hot dog from Bob the Hot Dog Vendor in Hamsburg, Wyoming.

OOC Character 2 lived happily ever after with his hot dog.

THE END

Notes to alleviate confusion:

RR x 22 = Repertory Rate, 22 breaths per minute (elevated)

HR x 566 = Heart Rate, 566 beats per minute (impossibly elevated)

A&O x 2 = Alert and Oriented, two out of three questions

A further explanation:

A&O x 2 (Alert and Oriented) asks the patient three general questions: What is their name, where are they located, and what time/date is it. If the patient cannot answer all of the questions, the patient probably has brain damage. A&O x 3 means all questions were correctly answered. If A&O x 3 degrades to A&O x 2, A&O x 1, even down to A&O x 0, the patient probably has severe brain damage and needs immediate attention and admittance to a hospital.

Dilated blood vessels causes shock, where blood cannot reach major organs and you could soon die unless treated. Shock is the largest killer, and brain trauma is the fastest. Puncture wounds to the heart are the second fastest.