Just Be with Me
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! (No matter how much I want to own Jacob Black :P)
Summary: Jacob is sick of trying to hide his feelings for Bella, and finally has the courage to tell her. And he's not taking no for answer. Set during New Moon (Edward never came back, but is mentioned). Bella is still depressed. ONESHOT.
Jake's POV
Feelings………
What were they exactly?
Were they special devices made just to make you feel angry, heartbroken, lonely, and ETC. all at the same time?
That's what I was feeling. I scoffed at myself. All of this for a klutzy chocolate-eyed, brown-haired girl? Leave my heart to pick her out of everyone else.
Bella.
Heat surged through me as I thought of her face, her smile, her soul. The way she bit her lip when she was anxious, and the laugh she gave when she told a playful lie.
Such a terrible liar.
Such a terrible person. I wished I could tell her these things. But how could I, when I didn't even believe them myself? Why make another lie in the midst of all of the others? Gravel crunched under my feet as I walked back to my house, shoulders slumped, hand's in pockets. She would be waiting for me. I had a plan.
'Liar', I thought of myself. There was no point in lying to myself, not when I had already wasted all the good ones on a certain extremely pale girl.
Bella.
Who would have thought that lying would actually make things better?
Liar.
Lord knows I had been practicing what I would tell her for weeks to a mirror, but I knew not even a fraction of what I had practiced would be used in this conversation. My main worry was losing control…..
Hurting her……….
I hadn't realized that I was already planted in the front of my gravelly driveway. And then I felt a presence. I looked up towards the house. Bella was standing on the last step of the porch, staring intently at me. Had she realized something was wrong? I wanted to open my mouth and say something, but it was too dry. Not two seconds later, a gigantic smile lit up her face and she waved. I stood dryly in the drive way. The smile lowered by a couple of fractions. Suddenly without thought, I rushed toward her, faster than lightning, and yanked her hand in mine, rapidly dragging her towards First Beach.
"Jake! Jake what are you doing?" I heard her ask frantically as I basically speed walked to First Beach, gripping her hand tighter than ever, careful not to bruise or crush her fingers.
But I couldn't see, I couldn't hear. I just ran faster, tugging at her hand.
All I wanted was to tell her, and the sooner I did, the better I would be able to handle it.
I just wanted her to understand.
Within minutes we were there, Bella panting in the background. It would've been hilarious, if only we weren't in this difficult position.
Maybe if she weren't so stubborn and oblivious.
Maybe if she weren't so Bella.
Silently, I picked her up bridal style and walked to our spot by the driftwood, setting her down on our special driftwood log. Then I silently turned and closed my eyes, facing the waves, letting the crisp salty air soothe me. After a moment her breathing slowed and quieted, and there was just the sound of the waves between us. That and a whole lot of tension. I could feel her staring at my back.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked me. Oblivious again. I clenched my jaw and turned to her.
"What do you mean why am I doing this?" I said angrily. "Because I want to? Because I like having to be angry at you, even when I don't want to? If anyone should be asking that question, it should be me."
She bit her lip. "I don't know what you mean." She said it so quietly, that if I were a normal person I wouldn't have been able to hear her. I growled internally.
"Are you blind!?" I shouted. She flinched, and I felt like slapping myself for being such a jerk. But I couldn't control it. "You're always mentioning this, what could've been crap, how you have no friends, and how bloodsucker was the only one who understood you, and I'm standing here right in front of you!" she stood up and faced me and I put my head up to my forehead, trying to calm myself.
"What are you talking about!?" she shrieked, gawking at me. I felt like exploding.
"I LIKE YOU BELLA, OKAY? I LOVE YOU!" I roared angrily at her, so that it echoed all the way to the other side of the beach, and probably all the way to the ending border of La Push. Her face crumpled, and I tried to calm myself down, trying to breathe evenly.
Silence.
She paused, and reached out a hand to me. That wouldn't be able to help me now.
"Jake-"
"There I said it okay?" I interrupted her, slightly calmer, breathing hard. "Cause God knows you would've noticed." I added bitterly.
"Stop it", she said forcefully with watery eyes, slightly backing away from me. It was too late to stop it.
"I've liked you since pre-school "I stated, as she started to walk away from me, and I followed. "When we were kids, and we used to hang out? And you used to come over, and we would make mud pies together before any of this stuff happened-"
She swiftly turned around, stopping me in my tracks. "I told you, Jacob-"
"-Normal stuff!" I finished.
"I told you to stop", Bella choked. I grabbed her face between my large hands, as she kept on repeating it, sobbing more each time.
"I'm not going to stop okay?" I said gently to her, wanting her to stop crying and look at me. She whimpered it one last time, her hands gripping my wrists while I held her face. "I can't stop." she looked at me, trying to stifle her cries. I wanted to help her, but at the same time, I couldn't stop the words that were flowing out of my mouth like water. I swallowed painfully. "We used to be so close. And then you moved away and came back and met Edward, and it was like…. you didn't even know me anymore." I stroked her cheek. "But I never forgot you" I murmured. "I never forgot who you used to be."
I paused, and I felt a little smile come to my face. "But then you came back to me with the bikes. You remembered me……but you kept on telling me what I felt for you wasn't real. I know you feel something for me Bella. You wouldn't allow me to do all of these things if you didn't." she bit her lip and nodded silently, even though that must have been a little hard, the way I was gripping at her face. I sighed, wiping all the tears from her cheeks. "I know you need time and that you're broken from losing him. But I never forgot who you used to be", I found myself repeating again.
"Who I used to be..." Bella said bitterly. "Right", she sniffed sadly letting more tears spill over. I took her in my arms, into a warm embrace, her hands clutching at my back as she cried silently into the crook of my neck for a few moments. I breathed into her hair. Freesia. I smiled as she shifted herself so that her head lay on my chest, drawing random invisible shapes on my forearm with her finger. "Do you remember", she murmured to me, "when we were kids, that time I came over, and I tripped and dropped my book in the lake, and you almost drowned trying to get it for me?" she smiled at me.
"Of course I remember" I chuckled softly, stroking her hair. "It's a good thing I know how to swim now isn't it?"I joked. I felt her smile through my chest.
"Definitely", she agreed, laughing.
"And I would always do anything for you", I smiled warmly at her, enjoying the way her eyes sparkled when I looked at her. "I still will."
"Then just do me this one thing?" she stated quietly, reaching up to brush her hand up against my cheek.
"Anything", I stated automatically. "I just want you to get better okay? I want you to get back to who you used to be. I want you to be happy."
"Just stay with me.", she whispered already seeming a little less broken already. I grinned proudly.
"Okay" I whispered, taking her into my arms again and kissing her on the forehead. I smiled to myself. "Just one more thing bells. Just do me this one thing." I heard her laugh softly.
"And what would that be?" she whispered. I smiled again, bigger than ever.
"Just be with me." I spoke softly to her. She smiled.
It was then I knew I wouldn't have to worry about anything else but her, my soul mate, my reason for living. As long as I had her in my arms, and she was happy, that was all that mattered to me. I pressed my lips against hers and smiled.
Who knew mud pies could be such beautiful things?
END
AND IT'S DONE!! Told you Jakey wouldn't take to for an answer! Lol (grins like a proud PTA mom) Thank you guys for reading, I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW/COMMENTS are welcome! Let me know what you thought on Jake's approach and such ^^ XD constructive criticism is also welcome!