Could my life get any worse? I had been inside my head all day, so that Charlie wouldn't attempt to make conversation. Or worse, ask questions. I moved to the rainy, miserable town of Forks, Washington six months ago after my mother and stepfather were killed in a car accident. So here I was living with my father, attempting to survive the ridiculousness of my senior year of high school.

At first it had been ok here; I just floated my way through class and daydreamed of disappearing. It's not that I wanted to run away but rather I just wanted to stop existing. I didn't want to die, although, for a while that seemed like a good option. And here we are once again where death seems to be a good option.

It seems that Charlie kept the death of my mother fairly quiet, only my headmaster and school counsellor know about it. So that left me as the weird, quiet girl and therefore a target for bullies. Namely; Edward Cullen. He was the bane of my teenage existence. True, he is extremely good looking, charming and intelligent, but he has a dark side. He torments me no end. It's not that he says anything to me, other than snidely offering for me to sit with his friends. It's that he will pull my seat out from under me, put my books on top of the lockers so that I can't reach them, knock things out of my hands.

He generally makes my life a living hell, I dread going to school. It makes it worse that I have to see the school counsellor every Tuesday and Thursday. This apparently makes me a head case, and his pack of skanks tease me mercilessly. Even worse, I have a crush on his best friend. Jasper Whitlock. If Edward ever found that out it would probably be the best news he ever heard, another thing to ridicule me about.

Jasper is the reason I am at home with Charlie rather than in English as I ought to be. Edward had been teasing me about my new tennis shoes. Charlie bought them for me because they were plain white and had encouraged me to decorate them. I drew stars and skulls, broken hearts, clouds and lightning. I thought they were ok, nothing as good as what you would buy in a store, but Cullen thought it was 'cute'. Then he noticed the gravestone. I had only written RIP, but he kept on it, guessing who had died. My pet rabbit? Maybe I killed my boyfriend? Or did I just want to die? Was I so shit at life that I had planned my death?

This pushed me over the edge. I had been silently crying when he first pointed it out to everyone, then as he listed all the possibilities it got worse and worse. I silently prayed that he would not guess correctly, then as he suggested that it was my gravestone I lost it. I ran out of biology swiping at my eyes. I had every intention of going to the counsellor, if only to sit in her office and cry. But I saw a compass on the floor near the girls' bathroom. I stopped running, I could hear someone calling out behind me but I had a new mission.

I quickly grabbed the compass and ran into the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. I pulled back the sleeve of my jumper and lightly ran the tip over my wrist. A thin white line appeared for a moment before it disappeared. I heard someone enter the first door of the bathroom. I ran the tip across my wrist again, this time harder. An angry red line formed and blood began to run down my hand.

"Bella?" That sounded like Jasper. He was opening the second door. "Bella, are you ok? Come out." He sounded worried. I wonder why?

I ran the compass across my wrist again, this time a little below the first cut. I smiled as I thought to myself. Maybe I'll prove Cullen right and kill myself now. The feeling of control was like euphoria.

"Bella?" A drop of blood ran off my hand and landed on the tiles between my feet and the offending shoes. Jaspers hair poked under the door. Fuck. "Bella, what the hell! I'm coming in."

Why is he in here? I grabbed some tissue paper and held it to my wrist. I pressed my wrist against my side and opened the door. I don't know how Jasper assumed he would get in. I pulled my wrist behind my back and made sure that the tissue paper was still pressed tight against the wound. The euphoric feeling was fading. Now I just felt ill.

"Bella, where did the blood come from?" Jasper looked really worried. His eyebrows were pulled together and his eyes were searching my face. I didn't reply, I just admired his face. His beautiful blue eyes, they were piercing, like they could see right into your heart. His blonde, shaggy hair was messed up due to his habit of rubbing his hands through it.

"Show me." He held out his hands. I looked at them and sighed, I knew he wouldn't give up. I put my wrist into his hand and as my bare skin made contact with his palm I felt a shock run all the way up my arm. I looked up at his face but he was staring at my wrist, I glanced down at it. I suppose it did look pretty bad, but only because the towel was drenched. The cuts really weren't that bad.

"Bella." There was so much sorrow in the one word. I'd never heard anyone sound so sad, except possibly me, the first time I spoke to the school counsellor about my mum. He lifted his other hand and it hovered over the tissue paper. We were both staring at my wrist. He finally removed the tissue from my wrist, he sighed and I could hear the sadness and pity in that noise. I felt sick to my stomach at that. Pity?

He gently pulled my out into the first room to one of the sinks. He turned the cold tap on and turned it down to a gentle stream and pulled my wrist under it. I sucked in a breath at the sting of water on my wound. It quickly washed the blood away but he continued to run the water over it, I glanced up at his face.

"It'll help to slow the bleeding," he explained in a patient tone. He stared at my face a couple moments before reaching over and grabbing some more towelling. He shut of the water and dabbed at my wrist. He suddenly stopped and leaned in to look more intensely at my forearm, he had noticed my scars. He leaned back and ran his thumb over an older one.

"I... "He seemed lost. So I patted his shoulder.

"It's ok. I'll go to the nurse now." I took the tissue paper from him and pressed it to my wrist and began to walk out. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. Again a little current of electricity ran through me. I felt light headed.

"I'll walk you, you look like you're about to pass out." I nodded and he walked by my side as we exited the bathroom.

The last thing I remember before I woke up in emergency was feeling lighter than air, and my foot being unable to reach the ground, then I began to fall and then it all went black.

After Charlie and i returned home, he held me in his arms for a while and whispered to me that he didn't realise, he was sorry. I told him it wasn't his fault. He then decided on the sleeping arrangements. As i'm not allowed to be anywhere alone i would sleep on the couch and Charlie would sleep on a mattress on the floor. I would be visiting Mrs. Peters each morning at ten sharp.

Charlie sat in the living room watching a game while I sat in plain view reading The Crucible. Just as I was coming to the end I heard a knock on the front door. I waited while Charlie answered the door, but he didn't immediately let the person enter and I wondered what the holdup was. That is, until Jasper Whitlock walked into my kitchen.