Disclaimer- Nothing related to the TV show House belongs to me. I'd try to say something sarcastic or funny, but it seems as though I've run out of those comments.
A/N- So…what can I say? Once you start writing fanfiction, I suppose it's hard to stop. This fic has little or nothing to do with the status of the show right now. I was inspired by a fanvid, even though this idea has always nagged at the back of my mind. Anyway, enjoy, and please review!
My Eyes
It has often been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. However, what if one does not wish to bare their soul? Though one may change their facial expression and their behavior, their eyes always reveal their true feelings. I, for one, am horrible at hiding within myself. From a young age, my eyes, more than anything else, would give me away. Depending on what color they appeared to be would showcase anything I hoped to conceal. In fact, that particular quality still troubles me today. Blue, green, gray…each color symbolizes something and it doesn't take long for a skilled observer to understand the connection between my eye color and my mood.
Next to House, my eyes, even at their bluest, seem robin's egg, at best. Yet, blue reveals powerful emotions, only one of which is satisfaction. My eyes shone the brightest blue whenever House approved of my work. I would look up at him with a shy smile and two sapphires, pleased beyond belief that I had somehow impressed him. If I was lucky, he would return a look with a hint of kindness, and my eyes would sparkle even more. I'm sure he noticed, and at that time, I wanted him to. I wanted to capture his eyes with mine and draw him in. I hoped that if I opened the windows to my soul, he would return the favor. On rare occasions, our eyes would meet in a gaze so powerful it almost hurt me to look away. The blue would fade then, into a disappointed shade of gray. Blue also illustrates hope. Since childhood, I could cast a pair of light blue eyes upon any adult and manipulate them to my desire. Hope is a powerful feeling, I suppose because one can hope for nearly anything. Money, power, forgiveness, help, love…everyone always wants something, everyone always hopes for something. When I wanted a chance to explore options for a patient, when I wanted a chance with House, I'm sure my eyes became the softest blue.
Green, typically associated with envy, colors my eyes when I am deeply, truly hurt. After my husband died, my eyes were deep green for weeks, stunning emeralds, sparkling with tears. House often turned my eyes green, sometimes intending to, other times unknowingly. The tiled walls of the lab have seen more of my green eyes than any other room. I could look up from the microscope and examine my eyes in the glass, swearing that my breaking heart shone through the green, and that I could see it as clearly as my pupils. Hurt and anger are, in my opinion, not mutually exclusive. Where you can find one, you can almost always find the other. Therefore, anger causes my eyes to pulse green whenever it courses through my veins. Again, House is the main cause of this. Whenever I got in his face, impassioned by a comment or an action, green met blue in a fierce battle for dominance. Green usually lost, but remained strong until no hope for its cause remained.
Gray is not depressing or dismal, but a reliable symbol of calm when it appears in my eyes. Like the sky immediately after the thunderstorm has ended, gray is peace, acceptance. Normally, my eyes are not entirely gray. A hint of blue or green swirls with it, suggesting that there is always something under the surface. Perhaps a confrontation with House earlier, or a suggestion that rang true. Sometimes now I'll glance at Chase, and some blue will join the banal gray, showing him that I am anxious for our shifts to end, and our evening together to begin. If I encounter a difficult case, green mingles with gray, the hurt showing even if I have no idea who the patient really is. When House comes down to the ER, all the possible colors my eyes can hold come together. This mixture indicates that I am ready for whatever is to come. Blue, green, and gray work harmoniously, playful and prepared under any circumstances.
I was a blue student. I am a green doctor. I am a gray and blue wife. I am a blue, green, and gray colleague. My eyes tell my story; they change with who I am and how I feel. They give me away, opening my soul for all to see. I cannot hide behind the colors, but I think I like it better this way. One look into my eyes and you know how I feel, about myself, about my life, about you. There is no honesty purer than that.
A/N- There you have it- my first actual POV fic. Please review; I like nothing better than feedback!