YOU WAIT TOO LONG TO PLAY YOUR CARDS
Summary: Narcissa is afraid of the thing she desires the most.
Disclaimer: All copyright to JKR. Only the plot is mine.
Written for: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments):
Assignment #8, Charms, Task 2 (write about someone who doesn't want to be seen)
November Event - National Princess Day - Elsa, Frozen (write about someone who pushes away those they love)
Word Count: 792
A stone ricochets off her window.
Minutes later, she enters the courtyard.
And he waits there, a tall, lanky figure with brown hair and thin lips and the most beautiful amber eyes that she has ever seen.
"You shouldn't be here."
"I know."
"Well, then, why -"
"You know perfectly well why. Cissy, I can't just let - let you marry this man, for Merlin's sake, he's a Malfoy!"
"Let me? Let me? Remus, I am perfectly capable of making my own choices in life."
"You know I didn't mean it like that."
"I know. But this is for the best. For everyone."
An eager: "We could run away together."
"We'd be caught."
"Not if we outran them. We wouldn't be seen."
"Where would we go? There's nowhere the Ministry can't track us down to."
"We'd poise as Muggles. Find a nice place to live, somewhere remote."
"We can't live with Muggles for the rest of our lives."
"Well, then, we would find another magical community and settle there."
"Then we'd definitely be caught."
"We'll make it work. We'll find a way, you know we will."
An impatient sigh. "It's not that easy."
"Cissy, please. Why are you being so stubborn?"
A repeated: "You shouldn't be here."
A quiet: "I love you."
An upfront declaration: "This isn't love."
An edge of frustration creeps into his voice.
"Did what we said last night mean absolutely nothing to you?"
"We were drunk. You know that."
"What about the last three years? Just because it was only acknowledged last night, Cissy, doesn't mean it wasn't real."
"That was teenage foolishness. You and I both know we were made for different paths in life, ones that aren't paved together."
"Love isn't meant to be easy."
"This isn't love, Remus!"
"Sure felt that way to me."
"Why are you so determined to interfere with my life?"
A retorted: "Why are you so afraid to be happy?"
A quiet: "It's not that."
A pause.
"Do you want to be ignored by this man, Cissy? To live a life where you're nothing but an object to show off on his arm?"
A pause. Then,
"Yes."
A scoff. Then, more gently: "We would be happy together. You know we would."
"It would never work out."
"What does Lucius have that I don't? Money? Charm? The man doesn't have a soul, Cissy, he doesn't have a heart."
"I love him."
Another scoff. And an adamant shake of the head.
"No, you don't. Do you know how it felt, after last night, to wake up to the news that you were engaged? Narcissa, I love you. And I know you feel the same way about me. And there never was a force more unstoppable than true love."
She hisses between her teeth. And she knows she has to do it.
"What are you, one of Dumbledore's minions? True love doesn't exist. We have to make do with what we've been given, and I've been given the opportunity to live out my life in comfort and safety. And besides, Lupin, please. What can you guarantee me? Dead deers brought home every full moon? You're a werewolf. And I'm a Black. And even if eloping was ever on the table, do you really think I could stand to live out the days of my life with a creature like you?"
He steps backwards.
There is a paleness that is slowly creeping over his face. She can see the confusion and hurt and betrayal embedded within his irises.
And the heartbreak.
It is, she realises, a reflection of herself.
He, of course, does not see this.
"I thought you were different," he gets out, softly.
Different.
And there is a moment, a single moment, where she looks into his eyes and sees the future he imagines; sees the love that blossoms like a flowering tree in spring.
And then he breaks their gaze, and he turns, and he walks away.
I love you, she wants to say. I love you, and I always have, and I always will.
And even though the words are there, they're right there, she can't even open her mouth.
Because she has never wanted to be noticed. She has never wanted to be appreciated, to be acknowledged, to be recognised.
She fears it with a burning passion.
And with Remus, she is exposed, she is seen, and there is a vulnerability opened up deep within her that frightens her more than anything else.
She thinks, is this how love is supposed to feel?
She thinks, I love him.
She thinks, I love him.
And she knows, she knows, that she has made a terrible decision.
But it is too late, and it is too late, and it is too late.