Title: tHe CrAsH cOuRsE

Authoress: Lady Constantine

Fandom from Which This Fiction Hails: Azumanga Daioh

Genre: Humor/Romance

Warnings: Rated for foul language and sexual innuendos.

Summary:

"I'm hyped up on coffee, thinking at 70 miles per hour, and wondering what the hell I'm really aiming for in life." Tomo turned to him and breathed deeply into the phone. "Sorry okāsan, but this soldier won't be home for Christmas"

Author's Note: This fic is post-Azumanga Daioh and mostly concerns Tomo and her adaptation to college life! TomoXOC don't care if you like the paring or not. Most chapters consist of lots of dialogue. I got bored and put this one up early. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1- tHe ArRiVaL

Tomo looked outside the car with her nose pressed against the glass window and eyes alighted with awe. "Wow Mom! Look at all the ume trees!" The white flowers would move at the slightest wind and seem to fragilely break off. They grew beautifully despite their concrete surroundings. Tomo giggled as they hit the window. "They're lots of ume flowers..."

"Of course Tomo, this is Mito, Ibaraki. They're famous for their Ume trees. I think there's a festival for it..."

"The Ume festival?"

"Yeah that's it!" Tomo's mother gasped as they arrived at the university's main entrance. "I still can't believe my little Tomo got into a prestigious school! See what happens when you apply yourself-

"Yeah, yeah whatever mom! Come on let me out already!" Tomo's mother had put child safety locks on all the doors (including front passenger), to prevent Tomo from hurting herself. Once, she had jumped out of the car to catch a rolling ball that fell out of a little boy's hand. Needless to say, she tried to steal the ball. You'd think she'd be old enough to know by now not to jump out of moving vehicles, but the example was only a couple of months old. Tomo was a working process.

"Not until we make sure you have everything. Do you have your Student ID?"

"Check!"

"Dormitory Room Sheet?"

"Check!"

"Clothing?"

"Check, it's all in my bag. Along with my tooth brush, night-light, plushies and a box of strawberry pocky!"

"I also packed fried chicken for later."

"Oooh, yum!" Tomo's mother unlocked the door and helped her daughter unload a big suitcase, three tote bags, and two plastic bags of treats.

"Tomo are you sure you don't need help?"

"Positive!" she lifted everything with relative ease. "Don't wait up for me mom..." Tomo started walking, but quickly was pulled back by something tugging on her jacket. "What the hell?-

"Jacket's caught in the door..."

"Damnit!" She yanked her black trench coat out of the door.

"Goodbye Tomo..."

"Goodbye mother," she grumbled and started off again.

Tomo's mother chuckled. I love that kid, "But she's missing a few light bulbs up in that attic."

As Tomo reached the main building she was panting and out of breath. "Attention!" A loud speaker buzzed, "All freshman and all other new alumni, please report to the auditorium!" She panted and tried to walk further.

"You need help?" A voice called from behind her. Tomo harrumphed and ignored them. I can do this on my own, who the hell do these people think they are! As if 'Tomo the Great' ever needed help!

She panted some more and huffed her way to the auditorium, refusing all who asked to help.

Almost there, almost there, almost there. Tomo was determined to beat the invisible rival racing against her. As soon as she saw the door labeled 'Auditorium' she used what was left of her energy to burst through the doors.

"Checkpoint!" she yelled as the doors banged open.

"Shh!" The crowd yelled in response.

"Oh, sorry..." Tomo-with a defeated expression, tried to blend into the audience.

"Attention new students! My name is Morosawa Mimiko,"

"Mimiko, what a weird name," Tomo giggled.

"As many of you know, my grandmother founded this University. I am honored to now-almost a quarter of a century later-to fill her shoes as President of this prestigious college! I hope everyone will do their best and take care of each other." The crowd started cheering loudly. Tomo was confused as to why, but she knew she had to be the loudest.

"Miss Mimiko! Miss Mimiko!" She yelled over the applause. Mimiko, faintly hearing her, searched in the crowd.

"Ooh! Ooh! Here!" Tomo pointed to herself to indicate where Mimiko should look.

"Who's calling me?" The audience's hollers died down. Only Tomo's voice remained.

"Me, me, me, me, me! Pick me!"

"Okay, um, you with the black trench coat and sunglasses!"

"And hair like sexy Fujiko Mine!"

Mimiko chuckled nervously, "Uh sure, who are you?"

"Takino Tomo! And I have a question!"

"Ah, okay. Ask away Miss Takino..."

"You're how old again?"

"Um I never said my age, but I'm twenty-six..."

"Really? I'm eighteen! I thought you would be waaaaaay older 'cause your boobs are even huger than Kagura's!" Tomo allowed the gasps to collect before continuing further. "And you don't look like your pregnant-

"Thank you Miss Takino-

"No problem! But anyway, I thought you should know that I accept your challenge!"

"What challenge?"

"I will graduate earlier than you did from er..." Tomo had realized she didn't even know the school's name. She whispered to the guy beside her, "Hey bud, what's the name of this school?"

"Are you serious?" He said in a slight Osakan accent that Tomo made sure to remember.

"Ayup."

He sighed, "Tokiwa Uni-

"Tobiwa University of Mito, Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan! That's right Mimiko, I will beat you at your own game!" Tomo laughed loudly and struggled with her luggage to the auditorium's exit.

"Hey where are you going?" Mimiko asked exasperatedly. This girl was making a fool out of her.

Tomo turned around and smirked, pulling down her sunglasses slightly, "Wouldn't you like to know..." The truth was that Tomo didn't know where she was going either, but it sounded like the right thing to say.

As Tomo got outside the auditorium, she could still hear the aftermath of the confusion she created. She snickered and struck a pose, "Sexy Tomo strikes again!" Her cell phone started ringing. Tomo instantly knew by the ringtone ("Poi Poi Peace"), who it was.

"Hey FATTY!" Tomo yelled into the phone.

"...Tomo, I see you're doing well."

"Ayup!"

"And you started college today?"

"Ayup! At Tobiwa University, or was it Tokiwa..."

"YOU GOT ACCEPTED INTO TOKIWA U? NO WAY!"

"Believe it!" Tomo snickered, "Is Yomi jealous?"

"Pfft, no. I'm just wondering how an idiot like you is going to survive in an elite school of 4,000 students that can kick your ass in math just by blinking, even if you try."

"Oh Yomi, Yomi, Yomi...Yoooooomiiiii...YomiYomiYomiYomi Yummy Yomi-

"Stop it."

"Obviously that new diet of yours is affecting how much air your brain gets."

"How'd you know I was on a new diet?"

"'Tomo the Great' never worries! Nor does she fail! When she wants to! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tomo disconnected and wondered what she should do next. Maybe I should go to my new dorm. She read the 'Dormitory Room Sheet'. It says I'll be roomed with four other people! Sweet! Now all that's left to do is decide where to put these bags... Tomo devised her plan in silence. If I leave them here I can get to the room much faster and beat my roommates! Yay logical thinking! Tomo dropped all her things and began speeding off.

And Yomi said I wouldn't survive in college.

A/N: First chapter over! Yay, the next chapter is shorter, look for it. Don't forget to review! The reviews fuel my capabilities.