I don't own The Bill.
The first thing Millie was conscious of when she woke up was that her head was throbbing. The second thing was that she absolutely no idea where she was. She cautiously opened an eye to the light, gradually letting it become accustomed to what seemed like a dazzlingly bright morning. Slowly the room came into focus. Nothing around her seemed familiar. As she stretched under the covers she realised she was naked. Hmm. She slowly looked across the bed to see if the person lying beside her was any clue to where she was, but there was no one there. Maybe she was in someone's spare room? Maybe she hadn't ended up sleeping with someone she didn't even remember after all?
She could have convinced herself of this if she hadn't just seen on the floor beside the bed what was definitely a condom, tied into a knot. It was very obviously a used condom…
She looked across the empty space of the bed to the bedside table that was next to it. On it was a large photo of a young woman smiling back at her.
Who was the picture of? she wondered. No one she recognised. But this woman must mean something to the person whose bed this was. A sister perhaps? Come off it, who keeps a photo of their sister beside their bed? Millie groaned as the logical conclusion hit her. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, Millie thought. I've slept with a married man! Or at least someone with a girlfriend! How could I have drunk so much that I'd do something like that? Something I swore I would never ever do!
Millie's mind took her back to her last year at secondary school. Millie and Michelle had been friends since they started at prep school together. Right through primary school and beyond, they had been inseparable. From skipping rope together to the overnight stays, from experimenting with hair and make up to middle of the night confidences, they had done all the coming of age things together. Then when they turned sixteen Millie had met Sam. They had been a relatively chaste couple for quite a while before they started to consider perhaps they should take things to the next level. Millie confided all her hesitations and excitement to Michelle. Then there was the night of the end of school dance. If anything were going to happen this would be the night. Millie and Sam danced together but at some point during the evening he had disappeared. Millie went to look for him. She had found him behind the school gym with his hands up Michelle's skirt. Millie had broken up with him immediately and avoided Michelle. A week after the event she and Michelle encountered each other and Millie had asked her how she could do this to a friend. But Michelle couldn't see why she should feel guilty. After all Sam was a boy. Attention from boys meant more than any friendship. But can't you see how I would feel? asked Millie, disbelievingly. That's not important to me, said Michelle. I can always find another friend. Millie suddenly found her lifelong friend repulsive and vowed that no matter what happened she would never ever be the type of girl who stole another woman's man…
Since that incident, every time that Millie had found herself competing with another woman for a man's affections, she would bow out. She would never put herself in the position of another woman's rival. She could never quite work out if this meant she was being noble, or if it just meant she didn't want to lose the contest because since then she never felt she was good enough to be any man's first choice.
Whatever her motivations, she was overcome with self-loathing as she looked at the smiling face of the girl in the photo. "I'm sorry," she found herself saying out loud to the unknown woman. She was certainly very attractive: honey blonde hair, large, long-lashed blue eyes – a bit too much fake tan, thought pale Millie critically – but on the whole a stunner. So where was she now? Why did her partner feel confident enough to bring a strange woman to the marital bed last night?
Ah, yes, last night! Most of the Relief had been there, all determined to drown their sorrows after what had been a very frustrating day. Some drunken, wife-beating thug had managed to evade what they have originally thought to be a watertight charge, and, as he was released, had made sure they all felt the sting of his triumph by dancing around and tormenting them. No one had needed too much persuading when Smithy had suggested perhaps the team needed to unwind with a drink or two at the Seven Bells.
Just about everyone was there, recalled Millie, but who would I have wanted to sleep with? Well, everyone knew Max Carter had been the object of her desire for a long time, but she was pretty sure he wasn't there. Just my luck that it was Max I slept with and I can't remember any of it!, she thought bitterly.
So who had been there? Smithy, Callum Stone, Jo, Nate, Mel, Leon, Ben, Roger. Terry Perkins and Stevie Moss had been involved in the case and had joined them too. Well you could rule out Mel and Stevie straight away. Millie had to think about Jo for a moment. Millie was definitely straight, but possibly, in a drunken frame of mind was she so sure she could turn down this undeniably appealing woman's advances? She decided she was pretty sure. Back to the list, and there was no way she could see it being Roger or Terry. Smithy and Stevie had been too chummy all evening for him to be an option. That left Sgt Stone, Nate, Leon and Ben.
Callum Stone and Nate were sleazes, there was no doubt about that, and she knew that if she gave either of them the slightest bit of encouragement they would be up for it. Ben and Leon were both a bit more reserved and complex, so they seemed less likely suspects. She couldn't rule out the option that she could have picked up someone completely new, but had she really drunk that much?
Yep, she knew she had. Most of them had in fact. It started of with a couple of white wines, then the challenges began. She felt herself turn slightly green at the memory of how much tequila she'd slammed down while competing with the boys. Was she really that stupid, she wondered? Apparently yes. It's not every day you drink to the point where you couldn't remember what you'd done.
Fuzzy images started to appear in her head. She could see herself dancing with Callum, very slow, close dancing in fact. She almost thought she could see him bending down to kiss her. But then to her relief the image of herself pushing him away sprang into her mind. She could see herself with the other girls, laughing and exchanging comments about their male colleagues. She had her arms around Mel. Then she remembered Leon and Nate rejoining them once again, as Mel got up with Stevie, Smithy and Roger, who all said their goodbyes. Then she remembered the two boys half carrying her out as they all went to hail a taxi…
Then she remembered at last who it was she had come home with...