The Weight of Heart
It had always confused him… how humans always talked about "friends" and "family" and other nonsense. He was… unsure if all humans thought this way, and if they all talked about their hearts as if they held them in their bare hands. Most of all, he feared that if he were human, would he, too, think that same ludicrous way…
Also, this was his greatest fear, his only fear. That if he were one of those mortals, that spoke of hearts and other inane gibberish, that he would become equally as naïve as they. This worried and frightened him.
"Why is it that you humans are always speaking of your hearts as though you physically posses them at that very moment. If I rip open your chest, would I find this "heart" there. If I crack open your skull, would it, by any chance, be there?"
This is what he said… but why did he bother to ask? Before now, he was never concerned with this sort of nonsense. But, why has he suddenly taken such an interest in human matters? Was it the coming of that woman to Las Noches?
Why would his master be so naïve as to bring a human here anyway? Mortals are not supposed to cross those kinds of borders. Why is it even possible? Why was it even considered? It was a bizarre think to do, yet he went through with it… even he could not determine what was going on inside his mind. Even the one this mind belonged to could not understand it… is this the weight of having a heart…?
--
"Woman…" The pale, tear streaked Espada stood in the door of the captives room.
"Ah! When did you get here, Ulquiorra?" The captive jumped, frightened at the Espada's sudden entrance to her quarters.
"Oh. Did I forget to knock again? Pardon me, if you were startled." He would normally never say something like this. He only said it, because as of lately, his master noted that the prisoner was indeed something of a "pet", and that not only did it need to be fed and looked after, but that it also needs moral understanding and support. He wasn't completely sure what this meant…
"No, it's okay! Were you going to say something?" The captive asked, as she stood up from her place on her plain white couch.
"Aizen-sama has notified me that humans need more than to just be fed and looked after. I am now completely at your service." He bowed slightly. He felt uneasy saying this. What if the captive wanted to try to escape while his guard was down. This would greatly upset his master…
"Huh? Did what you said even make sense?" The prisoner cocked her head to the side slightly, confused at the Espada's bizarre use of grammar.
"I will say this in terms a human such as your self would understand. Aizen-sama has requested that I give you anything you may need to make your time in Las Noches more… comfortable for you." Now he truly felt uneasy. Just saying things like this digusted him, but he had to hold true to this as well? Impossible.
"Oh! Well, could you request a stuffed bear for me?" The captive said, more cheerful than she should be.
"Hmm?" The raven-haired Espada was now truly confused. "You want us to kill a bear and preserve it for you? You humans have strange customs…"
"No, silly! I mean a toy bear! Like a plushie!" The captive again sounded far too joyful.
"Very well, then…" The Espada turned to exit the prisoner's keep. Just then, he remembered something he wanted to ask the captive. It would be better to wait than to ask now…
"Wait. Can the bear have a pink bow-tie?" The captive inquired.
"As you wish…"
--
The tear-streaked Espada walked down the long hallway, his left hand in his pocket, and carrying a stuffed toy bear in his other hand. I must look like quite the fool, right now. Just so long as Nnoitra isn't here-
"Now this is funny!!" The tall, eye patched Espada was standing against the hallway wall, grinning. "Number Four's got himself a toy bear! Absoluetly Hilarious! There ain't no way I'm passin' up a chance to mock my favorite lil' emo!"
"This was a request from the captive." Ulquiorra said, emotionless, and kept walking down the white hallway.
--
"Here, woman." The raven-haired Espada held out the teddy bear by it's arm, looking away slightly. Kind gestures disgusted him to no end, and yet, once again, he followed through with it.
"Yay!!" The captive jumped up and grabbed the toy bear out of the Espada's hand and hugged it tightly. "It's so cute!! Thank you! Ooh! It even has the little pink bow-tie I asked for!"
"……….." The Espada stared at the captive, almost confused, but not quite to that point.
"Hmm?" The captive noticed that the tear-streaked Espada was still standing there. "What is it, Ulquiorra?"
"…You do enjoy saying my name, do you not?"
"What do you mean?"
"You are constantly saying my name after your sentences. It is irritating..."
"Oh! It is? Sorry!" The captive smiled… again. She did this often. It was confusing. She's being held as a prisoner in a world separate from her own. Her comrades have all been destroyed. She shouldn't be happy about her situation, and yet she is smiling… Why?
"Woman…" The Espada said, slightly curious to why the captive was so happy. "Why do you smile so often? All of your friends have been killed. You're a captive in a place akin to hell, and yet you smile?"
"Um…" The captive pondered this question for a short moment. " Well, it's because my friends aren't really dead."
"They aren't? How can you say this? You watched them die." Ulquiorra was now unsure of whether or not this human was truly sane.
"I mean that they aren't dead in my heart."
"You are speaking of hearts again. You humans…" He remembered that question he was going to ask. "It would seem as though a heart is a heavy burden for a mear human to bear, is it not?"
"It is…"
"I see…" He now had many more questions, but they would wait until another day. "I must be troublesome to be a human."
"That's true, but it's worth it."
"Is it, now…?" He was no longer confused. He no longer feared what it would be like to be human.