AN: Naruto – not mine.
Chapter One
He was bored.
It was too close to the tenth to do anything stupid and just too goddamn hot to train. Which meant he was stuck in his apartment with fuck all to do. He could train but it was a weekend and the fucker downstairs was home. That ruled out any vigorous jumping about. So all he could do was more chakra crap or read and he was way too frustrated with his progress with that bloody leaf to contemplate meditation.
As he got up, a familiar rumble in his stomach signalled his hunger. Oh he would miss Ichiraku. The old man had prohibited him from leaving the apartment till emotions had settled down and now he had to contend with a couple weeks of instant ramen, while still brilliant, lacked the oomph that Ichiraku's wonderful manna provided. Grumbling on the fact that depriving him of Teuchi's ramen was cruel and unusual punishment, he filled the kettle and set it to boil.
Now the tough part. Chicken or beef? Spicy or not? Pondering, he looked down, trying to figure out what his stomach needed. He contemplated all four flavors but the restriction meant he had to ration lest he ran out before he could be able to get groceries and the one thing worse then only a single bowl of ramen was no ramen. Sighing, he reached for chicken before a twinge from his stomach made him deviate and settle for spicy chicken.
Humming, Naruto set the table (which consisted of him taking out a fork) and while waiting for the water to boil, went to look for his latest acquisition. His gaze settled on the chaos that was his desk. He had resolved on getting more organized this time round but laziness and the fact that it would always tend to return to this disorderly state stayed his hand. Besides he had his own system for figuring out what was where.
Usually.
Where was it? He could have sworn… he systematically searched the desk and after a couple of minutes, was forced to concede the book wasn't there. Irritated, he resisted the urge to start throwing things and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, before going over the desk again more thoroughly. Eventually he had to admit the book was gone. Interestingly, on his second go over, he had discovered his desk was altered; someone had moved his stuff. Unable to recall tiding up his desk, he could only supply one logical explanation.
Some fucker had been here messing about with his stuff. He scrutinized his home, looking for any clues the trespasser might have left; anything else he might have taken. Livid with the intrusion, he lashed out, punching the wall, adding to the already numerous cracks. The whistling kettle interrupted his ire. Realizing he was on the verge of leveling his apartment, he sat down and tried to soothe himself. Finally he resolved on his next step.
He needed to see the old man … as soon as he finished his ramen of course.
"What's the point of me talking if you don't listen?"
"Requiring me to comply implies you were ordering me, and we both know I don't do well with orders. I decided to ruminate on your thoughtful advice and after much consideration; I have determined you were spouting a load of codswallop."
He paused, eyes twinkling, as he entered the room. The old man, as always, was busy with paperwork. After a more that moment's pause, he realized that the old man wasn't replying.
"Well?"
"I'm sorry. What? I was lost on ruminate."
Naruto huffed; disappointed that he was deviating from the script.
"Oh come now, and no mention of codswallop? I tried to insert 'ramblings of an old disturbed pervert' somewhere in there but it was too unwieldy. And I had at least a couple more zings to any of your arguments. You could at least have the courtesy to humour me."
"Isn't that repetitive? A pervert is by definition disturbed."
"Semantics."
"The fact that you spend time thinking up rants worries me. Don't you have anything better to do? Like train, preferably somewhere that isn't here."
"That's why I'm here. Someone's been messing about in my apartment. Some things are missing."
"What exactly was taken?"
Ah. He knew he had missed something. When he discovered what was gone, he had rushed here to complain. Unfortunately it had slipped his mind that he had stolen this particular book from the Hokage himself. Crap.
"Um well, it wasn't really important. You know, you look busy there. I shouldn't bother our mighty Hokage with such trivial matters. Hey, is that the time? I'll just be going then."
As Naruto hastily turned to leave, he noticed the old man was smirking. And holding up a very familiar book.
"Was it this book? You have very interesting tastes. Next time, I expect you to ask before borrowing anything else of mine."
Sheepishly, he nodded and stretched out a hand for the book.
"Actually, I don't think this book is … suitable for you, Naruto."
Shocked at the implication, he snarled and spit on the floor.
"Wouldn't want the demon boy reading anything that might give him ideas, is it? Fuck you, old man."
The Hokage flinched at the rage on the boy's face, not expecting the response.
"I didn't mean that, you idiot. The book is too risqué; a bit too mature for you. I thought you were trying to avoid becoming a pervert."
Guiltily, Naruto avoided the Third's eyes, preferring the stare at the spittle near his feet. He tried to apologize but the words seemed stuck in his throat. Fortunately the Sandaime gave him a way out by just ignoring his outburst.
"Also I thought you wanted something educational. What made you pick out this one?"
Nodding slightly to acknowledge the clemency, Naruto carried on their banter.
"I would have thought any books I found here would be educational. Knowing your perversions, I should have anticipated such filth."
"And what were you expecting to learn from a book titled 'They Call Me Naughty Lola'?"
Naruto's face went red. He hadn't realized that. He had been browsing that day and had just taken a random book without even checking the title. How was he to know it was some sexual deviant book. Now he had to say why he had selected the book or be labeled as a pervert.
"I ain't no pervert! I … I didn't read the title. I only chose it cause …"
"Yes?"
"Because it was orange, okay!"
Ignoring the old man laughing at him, Naruto pouted and scanned the Hokage's books, looking for something to hold his interest, making sure to take note of the titles this time round. He had decided on a book on hand seals when the Sandaime burst into laughter again. Sensing he was the butt of the joke again, he glared at the old man.
"What? Have you finally gone senile?"
"You really are perverted, aren't you?"
"What? What's wrong with this one? You're the one who keeps harping on my control."
That reply only brought about more laughter.
"'Fingerplay' is not about hand seals my callow young man."
"Calling me that only makes you sound like a paedophile."
Curious to what else the book could be referring to, he flipped through the book before blushing and throwing at the old man.
"Pervert!"
Wiping away tears, the Hokage showed mercy on the boy by handing him a book he thought Naruto could handle. Before he could elaborate, a knock on his door caught his attention as village business called upon him again. He turned back on Naruto only to find the blond leaving through the window with nary a wave. Sighing at the abrupt end of his respite from paperwork, he called on his interrupter, only to discover another pile needed his attention. Deciding he had endorsed enough to merit a break, he asked his chunnin assistant to bring some tea and lit up his pipe. Blowing out smoke, his thoughts returned to the jinchuuriki. Human sacrifice indeed. He knew Naruto would bitterly appreciate the dual meaning of his title. Requiring the Yondaime's life but also calling upon the vessel. And how.
So quick to anger, emotions never steady, always moving, always watching for that leg out to trip him, for that kunai to slide in his back. The professor in him had to question whether the demon was the source for his mercurial nature. But the Hokage was sure it had more do with his environment. The villagers' hostility and his lack of social contact definitely contributed towards his paranoia. Ah the old nature versus nurture debate.
Even in that split second of aggression, he could feel the pulse of the Kyuubi's chakra, could see evidence of changes in the boy. A bit of red in the eyes, lengthening of the nails, thickening of the whiskers. Naruto needed to control his emotions. He had studied the seals, discussed endlessly with Jiraiya. Yondaime's work seemed flawless at first glance, but any records on his research or the technique was lost or destroyed; and the Sandaime was never satisfied till he had gone over all possible effects.
Shit. To accuse the old man, of all people. After all he had done; after looking out for him. He had enough people out for his blood. He didn't need to alienate the few on his side. But the thought that the Sandaime had forsaken him, viewed him as the other; had made his stomach drop. Had made him lash out.
He made his way back home slowly, skimming the book. He made the mistake of taking an alley that wasn't totally deserted and was met with a glare from the shopkeeper taking out the thrash. He wanted to wipe that sneer of the fucker's face and somehow a kunai had found itself in his grip. Realizing that assaulting a villager wouldn't help and only make it harder for the Sandaime, he fled, taking to the roofs and avoiding contact till he was safely home. He grudgingly understood why he was under house arrest.
Now he was rueful and wondered how he could make it up to the old man. The Sandaime had even gone out of his way to set aside a book for him. In the end, he decided to do the only thing he was good at and prank those old cranky warts on the council on the Hokage's behalf.
But where could he get that much soap?
AN: Anyone interested in being my beta-reader? I have cookies.