A/N: Anyway, as it occurred to me that I should probably have proof-read Rikki's story before I posted it, I did so. And was rather horrified. Hahaha. Poor Rikki. (I may have hurt him with a thesaurus of words to better describe genatalia.)

If the previous sentence didn't scare the kiddies and the haters off, then maybe... GAY SECKS!!!!! GAYYYY SECKSSSSSS!!!!!!! -feral hiss-

Haha... And so, without further aggressive actions against my fabulous readers, I give you the first installment of The Perils Of Sleeping Under Trees REVISED.

Enjoy. :P

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With a heavy sigh, Naruto moved toward the shade of a nearby tree. Most of the genin were either excitedly discussing the first part of chuunin exam, the written examination, or, in the case of Sakura and Ino, busy stalking ("quietly observing", in their words) the Uchiha member of Team 7.

Naruto, on the other hand, was exhausted from the brain-drain of the test, despite the fact that he hadn't managed to answer any of the questions. He had approximately two hours before that strange, hyperactive Anko woman was due to round them up for the second stage.

Maybe it'll be long enough for a quick nap...

Settling himself on the soft grass in the shade of the tree, Naruto felt drowsiness engulf him, dreams of a certain pink-haired kunoichi overtaking his mind, blissfully unaware of the presence of an observer.

Gaara stared at the blonde, brow furrowed, wondering at the genin's stupidity. The boy's guard had been down the entire time the redhead had been watching him, beginning the moment they had left the examination room.

Gaara thought for a moment, his vantage point on one of the higher branches partially obstructed by lush foliage. How did he expect to survive as a ninja if he was so lax in his defences?

Irrelevant, he concluded. This lack of defense will only make it easier for me to do what I came here to do... Which, somewhere in his mind, he knew was probably wrong. But there was something about the Uzumaki boy, something Gaara couldn't necessarily define, but something he was attracted to.

His gaze became more intense as the boy in question moved in his sleep, shifting to a more comfortable position on the grass, mouth opening slightly with a faint sigh. Gaara's dark-rimmed, foam green eyes took in the blonde's peaceful expression and delicate features, the way they seemed so shy and reserved, a direct clash with the brash loudmouth the genin was in his waking moments.

Perhaps lost in his musings, the sand-nin was taken off-guard the sudden sensation of cold metal against his exposed throat. Not that the blade on its own could ever match the strength of my sand, he thought drily. The expression on his assailant's face, however, placed a seed of doubt in the unstable insomniac's mind.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, eyeliner?"

"Eyeliner" gave Sasuke a bored look.

"So, you finally escaped the attentions of your fans, Uchiha?" his soft drawl making the other boy pause for a moment. Almost as though he had believed the squealing pair of females had gone unnoticed by other ninja. Truthfully, it had made Konoha's genin look like idiots.

The two shinobi glared at each other for a few moments before Gaara's gaze slid back to its original subject, who had yet to awaken from his nap, admiring the way the soft breeze played in the blonde locks. Naruto looked so... cute... If Gaara had been alone, he might have smiled sardonically at the thought. "Cute" wasn't a word often used in his thought processes.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was furious. The redhead, whom he had so generously christened "eyeliner freak" in his mind, was eyeing his blonde. Sure, the two weren't exactly at the intimate stage (yet), but Sasuke, despite the fact that his pride would be severely wounded if he was made to admit it, was in love with the stupid bimbo. Or perhaps it was just lust. Part of him wanted to believe that and ignore the feeling, and mostly that part had won, but after watching Eyeliner so conspicuously leer, jealousy had taken hold.

He grabbed Gaara's hair, pushing the boy against the trunk of the tree with a hiss, ignoring the sand that hovered threateningly around the twosome. The hiss was returned with a hostile growl from the redhead, whose calm demeanor was quickly dropped in the face of the contact.

Sand swirled around Sasuke, but the attack never came. With his face mere inches away, Gaara watched the dark-haired teen carefully, thickly outlined orbs suddenly wide with curiosity. It seems this village is full of cute people...

The Uchiha's brows knitted together. This wasn't supposed to happen. Why wasn't Eyeliner attacking him? He was just staring at him, almost as though he was in awe... Much to his horror, Sasuke felt a blush creep onto his face. The Wind ninja was kind of... no, really cute. In a panda-eyed redhead vampire sort of way... Not like Naruto, but just as… strangely unique, stunning…

Momentarily forgetting everything, Sasuke leaned forward on impulse; lips brushing the other teen's gently, eyes half-shut, his grip in the boy's hair loosening dramatically. So soft…

Gaara's eyes almost fell out of his head. Seriously. He could feel them straining for release. The cute Uchiha kissed him. On the lips. Uchiha. Kiss. Gaara. The fact took a few seconds to process amidst the sand-nin's shocked mental shutdown, and by then the other boy had pulled away. Not far away though. Close enough for Gaara to initiate his own action.

Sasuke eyes opened wider as the redhead kissed him, tentative and gentle, and when he felt small hands encircle his torso, he barely resisted the urge to smirk. Instead, he pressed the smaller teen against the tree with more force, sucking on Gaara's bottom lip, relishing in the soft moan that escaped.

Sasuke sucked harder, forcing the other's mouth to open, and he deepened the kiss, exploring Gaara's mouth hungrily. The redhead tasted… kind of sweet, strangely, it was a lot like strawberries. Delicious… The sand-nin had gone limp in his arms, and Sasuke realized he could probably get away with anything at this point.

Gaara whimpered as the Uchiha released him, only to groan as the dark-haired ninja ran his hands over the redhead's body, loosening his sash and forcing his shirt up. Sasuke's hands were cold as they traced a path up the redhead's torso, circling his nipples slowly, eyes dark with lust as they watched Gaara's face. He tugged at one of the hard nubs, gently smoothing the other, and smirked as the smaller teen moaned. Every sound the sand-nin made was going straight to his groin, but he didn't want to stop, he wanted to torture his pretty little victim for as long as he could.

The victim in question, however, had a better plan, at least in his mind. He quickly shrugged off his gourd, and grabbed the collar of Sasuke's shirt, pulling the leaf-nin into a rough kiss, dragging one hand through dark locks, the other tightening its hold on the Uchiha's waist. Before the other could gain any control of the situation, Gaara had switched their positions, and with a swirl of chakra-infused sand, Sasuke found himself staring at the trunk of the tree, arms forced painfully behind his back. He could feel Gaara's hot breath on the back of his neck, and couldn't help but shiver slightly at the redhead's words.

"Did you honestly believe I would let you lead?"

Sasuke clenched his jaw, the redhead's tongue tracing the shell of his ear, before he began struggling wildly. Or at least, it would have been wildly, if he had been able to move more than a few millimeters in any direction. Curse that stupid sand! This wasn't what was supposed to happen! Like he was ever going to be an uke! Look at Gaara, for Itachi's sake! He was a fluff-ball, not a freaking seme!

Using Sasuke's distracted mindset to his advantage; Gaara looped his arm around the teen, slipping his hand into the front of his shorts, smirking as he felt the boy through his underwear. Sasuke flinched, frantically trying to escape his grasp, blush back in full force.

"Shhh shh…" Gaara sucked and nipped gently at the flushed skin of the Uchiha's neck, comforting him, even as he rubbed his hardening package, "I'll be gentle, don't worry…"

Sasuke squirmed slightly, then gave up as the sand's grip tightened, opting to simply lock-up. Controlling himself was becoming difficult however, as the redheads ministrations got rougher. Gaara relinquished his grip on Sasuke's hands, letting the sand take over that task, and dragged the dark-haired teen's shorts down, ignoring the muffled protests.

He kissed Sasuke's neck softly, brushing back the black bangs, relishing the feeling of the other boy's naked skin. The leaf-nin moaned involuntarily he was grasped fully, still stubbornly refusing to believe he might enjoy what was happening.

Sand swirled around Sasuke again, forcing him to face the Wind ninja, back against the swaying trunk, pants around his ankles. He gave the redhead a hard glare, blush still very much evident on his icy features. Sasuke was hell bent on killing him right now. A low growl escaped his lips before they were captured in a hard kiss, and he bit down harshly on the other boy's bottom lip, tasting copper before the sand-nin pulled away.

Gaara tilted his head to the side, a thin line of blood trickling down his chin before it was licked up eagerly, a small smile gracing his usually stoic expression. Feisty… Not that it matters…

"Stop struggling and it won't hurt… as much."

If looks were weapons, Gaara doubted his sand would be able to protect him, but as not even Sasuke's Sharingan could harm him on its own, the redhead simply smirked a little wider. He used his sand to force the Uchiha's arms up to surround his neck, bringing their faces within an inch of each other, and lazily dragged the other teen's legs up around his waist, so Gaara was supporting all his weight.

Sasuke leant forward suddenly, using his slightly larger form in an attempt to usurp the redhead's centre of gravity and force him off the branch, but the sand-nin simply used the momentum to steal another bloodied kiss, and slip a finger inside him. Sasuke winced and instantly stilled, a hiss of pain escaping, and he dropped his head to the redhead's shoulder.

"Relax, Uchiha…"

"Easier said than fucking do-" Sasuke's furious muttering turned to a soft gasp of pain as Gaara slid another finger inside of him, none too gently.

"You had best learn quickly then, and save yourself some agony…ne?"

Slowly pumping his fingers, Gaara kissed his way up and down the Uchiha's throat, feeling the frantic pulse under his lips, and the short breaths that escaped the boy at irregular intervals. As Sasuke adjusted, the sand shinobi began to search for that spot, that little bundle of nerves inside the boy that would make this a lot more fun for the both of them, and smiled a little as Sasuke gasped and shivered. He pressed against the same place again, and Sasuke whimpered faintly, unconsciously pressing himself down, trying to hit it harder.

Gaara slowly scissored his fingers before slipping a third finger inside of him, pressing against the leaf-nin's prostate firmly to relieve the pain, and his smile widened as Sasuke began pushing down again, this time faster, riding his fingers as his breathing became harsher.

"Uhhh…"

Gaara dragged his teeth along the sensitive flesh of Sasuke's neck, leaving tiny marks and dark love bites from where he had suckled the soft skin. He could feel the Uchiha's erection against his stomach, and it made him slightly light-headed with all the thoughts that ran through his head. All the things he could do to the dark-haired teen…

Sasuke decided he hated the redhead, but at the same time couldn't even think to protest against his current position. To think, the stupid eyeliner freak had him, the great Sasuke Uchiha, at his eyebrow-less mercy! This thought, however, was being overruled by a much larger voice in his head screaming stupid, stupid things like "OH FUCK DON'T STOP, DON'T FUCKING STOP!" And because of this, instead of tearing the Wind ninja into small pieces and defecating on them while screaming murderous curses on his soul, Sasuke simply moaned as he fucked himself on the redhead's fingers.

Rather degrading, really.

Gaara decided Sasuke was ready, mostly because he knew neither of them were going to last much longer, especially if the other boy kept making those kinds of noises. The sounds were spreading heat all through the redhead's slim frame, he could hear the Uchiha's breathing becoming more and more erratic, and felt himself shiver at Sasuke's whimper when he removed his fingers.

With the aid of his sand, Gaara removed his own clothes and slicked his erection with his pre-cum. Slowly, careful not to cause either of them any undue discomfort, he lowered the other teen onto himself, growling ferally at the incredible heat and tightness that gradually surrounded him. Once fully seated, he waited, he knew the Uchiha was in pain, sudden stillness had overcome the dark-haired boy, and his grip around Gaara's shoulders had tightened.

Fuck it hurt. Despite the redhead's preparations of him, it still felt like Sasuke was being ripped in half. He focused on his breathing, sucking in slow gasps of air, nuzzling the soft skin at the juncture of the sand-nin's throat to escape the pain. Testing himself, he shifted a little, and found he had adjusted quite well. It still stung, but the pain was more bearable now. He leaned back slightly, so he could see Gaara's face, and gave a faint nod, brushing their lips together briefly before resting his head in the crook of the other's neck once again.

Gaara tightened his grip on Sasuke's hips, lifting him and bringing him down again gently, angling himself to find the other boy's prostate, bumping it and smiling as Sasuke moaned. He resolved to keep a gentle pace, slow strokes, content to drive the dark-haired boy crazy.

Sasuke, who hadn't really appreciated his position from the beginning, refused to ignore any opportunity to gain the upper hand, and proceeded to ram himself down onto Gaara, smirking as the redhead growled, before trying to stifle another moan, digging his teeth into the soft flesh of the shoulder in front of him.

Gaara hissed at the pain, but oddly enough, found himself enjoying the sensation. Nevertheless, he knew what the Uchiha was trying to do, and he resolved to win. Pressing the leaf-nin back harder against the trunk of the tree, he wrapped his sand around the other's chest, pulling him into a soft kiss as he pushed deeper into him, hitting Sasuke's prostate with enough force to make the dark-haired boy scream into Gaara's mouth.

Sasuke was in trouble, he knew it, he couldn't last. The constant pounding assault to his prostate, coupled with the gentle, teasing kiss that the redhead wasn't letting him deepen, and -oh shit- the bastard was running his fingers down his erection at the same time, not pumping, just touching it so faintly, it was too much, way too much. Only the smirk on the redhead's face kept him from losing it then and there. Like hell he was giving in!

"Come on, give up already…" the bastard whispered against Sasuke's lips, soft green eyes narrowed to goading slits. Sasuke felt like punching the smug freak in the face, but his hands were pinned behind Gaara's neck by sand, so instead he clenched his muscles around the redhead's length, grinning wickedly as the foamy green hazed with lust.

"You fucking wish, you-" Sasuke broke off with a groan as Gaara's eyes flashed a sharp gold and the faint touches became harsh jerks, hand gripping Sasuke roughly, tongue forcing its way into the Uchiha's mouth again. He couldn't control the moans as the redhead's other hand slid under his shirt, trailing over his nipples before dragging his nails over the hardening nubs. Sasuke could feel the familiar coiling heat low in his stomach, and he knew he'd lost, but clenched his muscles one last time before the white-hot ecstasy blanked his mind completely.

From somewhere far away, Sasuke felt Gaara release inside of him, but by the time he knew what was happening, the sand had abandoned its tight hold of him, and he was sliding out of the tree, falling limply to the ground below.

Oddly, his impact wasn't all that painful. He'd landed on something soft…

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, TEME!?"

Oh shit. Sasuke felt himself being pushed onto the grass, and he tried to pull himself out of his daze so he could at least pull his pants up. So much for the proud and modest Sasuke. He just had sex in tree with a stranger, and was lying on the dirt without any pants on.

Ugh… For once he was glad his parents weren't alive…

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A/N: Hehehe... I'm so cruel to pretty Sasuke. Eh. -shrug- He likes it.

Well, um, I'm lazy, and I DO have some of the second chapter done, but... IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! -cries self-pityingly- But I'll eventually put it up, ok?

Reviews would be nice, but I think a swift kick in the shin may be more appropriate. I WILL FINISH THIS! AND MY REQUESTFICS! -manly pose- (Ugh, I feel like Gai-sensei.)