"You Were My Wish Upon A Star "
Oh, how my mother never failed to put every last drop of energy into her actions, and smile to make me feel loved. And how I did, and always would love her unconditionally. She always made sure to pack my favorite lunch in my Captain America lunchbox which I remarkably keep in mint condition. How the motivation for her to get up every day, was to see me up, and smiling at her. Returning her ever so lovely, un-replaceable, tender, motherly love.
The love I had for my mother was special, and was forcefully mixed with a pinch of sympathy. Sympathy for the fact that my father, the love of her life, the person she chose to live with the rest of herlife, had left her upon hearing the news of his son being defective. Knowing his son wouldn't be normal. How I would always be…broken in his eyes.
The sympathy of how my mother, lives her life trying to show me the wonders of the world, trying to show how there's always a positive side to the world. How grateful she is to have a son like me. But I know better. She raised me better than that. I was raised to see right through her. See her broken heart, her damaged self-image, and her dead soul. She tries to hide it. Hide the factor of my disability. How my disability will be the very reason I grow alone when I'm older. She shoves that thought out the door, and portrays you don't need someone to be there when you fall. You just need yourself; to be strong. But yet, her quiet sobs at night, and her heart in pieces leave a dark, agonizing path behind each and every step forward she takes.
I Love My Mother. She Loves Me. I Want To Help My Mother. She Wishes She Could Help Me. I Ruined Her Life. She Says I Saved Her. He Hated Me. She Loved Him. She Loves Me. I Could Never Hate Him.
Another day at school wasn't anything special. The day dragged on through my classes where no one took the time to look back on the handicapped boy. Dragged on through the loneliness of lunch, where I devoured every last bit of my Peanut butter and banana sandwich, Sun chips, and a Capri-sun drink, with a side of laughter and conversations coming from everyone around me. Except me. Dragged on through the elective class I didn't even pick to begin with. Because no one would ever let the handicapped boy hold a drill while trying to make a birdhouse.
Every day was the same. Every day dragged on aimlessly and continually. Until the best part of my day, the best part of my life. Until Glee Club. The one and only place I could let lose, and be myself. Where I didn't have to be uncomfortably miserable. Where I didn't have to put on a fake smile to please the one I loved, but smile because I wanted to. To smile out of entertainment, freedom, and happiness. This feeling was the best feeling I have ever experienced, and probably will continue to be the best feeling I will ever experience.
Throughout Glee Club everyone got along. We danced, and sang in sync. And even with the occasional battles of Rachael cutting off Mercedes' parts, or Kurt being the conceited perfectionist he is, every second was what I lived for. This was what my meaning was.
I easily wheeled my way into the auditorium, being early per usual. Only Rachael and Kurt were already there. The two, being so organized, and bitchy, repelled like magnets coming together. Kurt rehearsed his singing to himself to a corner of the stage, as Rachael scanned the room at every second, waiting on baited breath for Finn to enter the room. Of course, he was always fashionably ten seconds late.
Once everyone arrived, Mr. Schu started talking, when I noticed a shady figure sitting in one of the middle rows of seats of the auditorium. Before I could begin to wonder why someone would come to watch the club none other known as the "Homosexual Explosion Club," Mr. Schu finished my thought.
"And to wrap up the announcements, we have a new member to Glee Club. She just transferred to this school, and has already auditioned. So, in conclusion, I would like everyone to welcome Sadie to the club." By the time Mr. Schu seized talking; Sadie was by his side, staring awkwardly at the group, with a hopeful smile on her face. That smile, and the way she stood dink-toed, just might have been beginning of something I would have never thought to cross my mind.
[…]
It was now junior year. The Glee Club consisted of seven members now, which, all cooperated with each other very well. And within the one year span of time, Glee Club wasn't the only thing I looked forward to. My whole life brightened up. And it was all thanks to the connection of best friends Sadie and I cheerfully shared. Sadie never let anyone see the sad side to her. She pulled it off so well, I was beginning to think she didn't even have a distressed side to her.
It all became natural to hang out, and have our routines as we do now. We always eat lunch together, she comes over my house when I tutor her in math, I go over her house when she tutors me in English, and every Saturday we go to the movies. Everything went smoothly, and calmly. How every second we're together, we both have on matching smiles, and put our fears and negativity in our back pockets. And I look forward to every moment we spend together, as if the world may end if I don't see her.
Saturday came around. I was looking at the list of movies that were playing online, when my cell phone rang. It was Sadie. I quickly picked up the phone, as if hesitation would be a wrong choice. "Hey Sadie, What's up?" I practically knew why she was calling. So we could decide on a movie to watch. That's what we always did. I could've launched into which ones I thought would be epic, and entertaining, but I always preferred to hear her voiced opinion.
"Hey Artie…uhm, d-do you think…maybe, we could…skip the movies tonight and…just hang at your place…?" Sadie asked slowly, almost cautiously. This caught me off guard. After I blinked a few times, and fully registered what she'd asked, I answered.
"Oh yeah, of course. Why the sudden change of plans?" I asked, eagerly.
"Oh ummm…no real reason. Just thought it'd be nice to spend some quality time, I guess. Well, anyways, thanks again. I'll be over in a bit. Bye, Artie!" And with that, she hung up. She never failed to make me assume, or wonder. And it never failed to leave a remaining smile printed on my face.
Sadie finally arrived at my house. She said hello to my mother, who always thought having Sadie over was a pleasure, and we went straight to my room. We talked, laughed, gossiped, and only quarter-heartedly paid attention to the old, classic movies I had put in for a backup plan. And through our laughter, and bonding, I couldn't shake the feeling that Sadie was acting distant. I also couldn't let go of the aggravation that followed behind of not being able to fix it.
When things started to simmer down, I decided to be the no-life nerd I really am, and show off my guitar skills to Sadie. I just played random songs, that by her face it was obvious she was amused. I played one last song, which I made up myself. Her eyes became glued to the guitar, like it was a celebrity itself. But once I diverted my eyes away from the guitar, I met her daze. Looking straight into her Harlequin green eyes, I saw pain, and another emotion I couldn't grasp, one I didn't know existed.
At that, she broke the gaze, and looked down at the ground, quiet sobs erupting from her tiny, gentle voice.
"S-Sadie!? What's wrong!? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just—"Her hand reached out, and touched mine, notifying me to give her a moment to recover herself. Her free hand rubbed her eyes, and then looked back up at me. Her eyeliner smudged, her features tightened. She looked to the side, almost afraid to face me, slowly took a deep breath again, and returned her gaze at me.
"Artie…I-I'm sorry…I'm so, so unbelievably sorry. You don't deserve to see me like this, I thought I'd be able to hold myself together, but I guess…" Her voice trailed off, as her eyes began to look away. Like she couldn't look me straight in the eyes. Like she was…afraid to find an answer to something she yearned to know. It confused me, She confused me, but that's what drew me in about her. Ever since the beginning.
I slowly reached out my fingertip less gloved hand, and ever so gently stroked her cheek. My heart pounded as I did so. And as I didn't know why, I ignored it the best I could, for her sake. Her eyes returned to mine, and a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, as she leisurely closed her eyes. She then placed her hand on top on mine, holding it on her cheek. I could feel my face get hot. These feelings I never felt before, but continued to ignore the confusion.
Finally, she opened her eyes, dropped our hands, and looked directly at me, her expression determined. She nibbled her lip a bit before she spoke.
"Artie, I'm sorry. But…My family is forcing me to leave again, I'm moving to Illinois. And probably won't be able to come back." Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence, her eyes glossy. And as pained as she looked, I couldn't react. My heart just stopped, as those words circled around me, the atmosphere turning.
Once I registered the words completely into my brain, I snapped back to reality. Her forsaken expression, biting her lower lip roughly, blinking every second keeping the tears away finally made sense. I found my voice so I could respond to her.
"So…that's why you were crying? You didn't want to leave?" I asked in a whisper, trying to clarify everything. A doubtful smile occurred on her face, while staring at my carpet. She raised her head, shaking it.
"I wish that was the reason. It probably would've been easier and less painful that way." Sadie stated. I thought it out carefully. But…it didn't make sense. What does she mean 'it would've been easier and less painful'? What could be the reason why she was so upset, then…?
"Then…what's the reason for you being so…so crushed?" I asked inquisitive, demanding an answer to all these questions. I assume this is what guys meant when they said girls were so confusing, and impossible to understand.
Sadie beamed at me now. She smiled flawlessly, her eyes narrowed, but twinkling. And her cheeks filled with a pink tint in them. She giggled to herself before she answered. "The reason why I'm 'crushed,' is because…I'm in love with you Artie." Her response was so confident, so sure of herself. No stuttering, her voice steady. Just…perfect.
I sat in awe. Sadie, my best friend, was in love with…me. Love was for married couples. People who would die for each other, who would give the world up for each other, who made each other's heart beat rapidly for each other, who would complete one another, who could never be replaceable, or separated. Love was something that only belonged in fairytales, something that I grew up accepting I would never be able to feel. And here I am now, sitting in my room, with this flawless, beautiful girl, who was perfect in my eyes, and accepted me for who I was.
It took me until now, to realize, I too, was truly, and undeniably in love as well. And that Sadie would never leave my heart, and could never be replaceable by anyone else who entered my life.
[…]
Here I was, staring out the cafeteria window, blankly nibbling at my Peanut butter and banana sandwich, wishing you were here. Because when you left, you took a piece of my heart with you. But I have a piece of yours too. But someday, the stars will favor us, and we'll be able to trade hearts completely.
AN: Heyya. ^-^ So, this is my first piece ever. A Glee Fic. Artie/OC. I hope you enjoy it, and reviews would be very helpful. Thanks.