Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Magic
It's weird how every little thing he does works like magic. He smiles, and I'm in awe. He walks past me and I feel my heart jump. Our hands brushed against each other and I feel everything inside me go berserk. I guess I'm this hopeless... in many more ways actually. I know he would never notice me, not in a good way anyway. I'm super clumsy and that makes me stand out, just not the way I want to catch his attention.
Many times I've wanted to give up on this hopeless thing- liking him. But just thinking about it weighs heavily on my heart. Besides, how could I even? I've had this thing for him for a very long time now, long enough to make me feel bad that I'm giving up now... well, it's not like I've made any progress at all, but still...
I think this guy has some mighty superpower that everyone doesn't know about. To me he has this certain effect that no matter how long the day had been for me, just a glimpse of his shadow makes everything seem well. I mean, it actually works on many people! I assume I'm not exaggerating if I say if works on all women, because, literally, he charms them all too well.
And so yeah, I'm just probably like every single one of them. Just a faceless part of the backdrop of his everyday life, well, fine, maybe not faceless, but... you get the point. I don't play any significant role. I'm just like a part of the crowd in his magic show. Could be one of those lucky ones who gets picked out to be part of a trick, but not much difference, because eventually, I just get back to my seat in the front row, watching him closely, but never really being paid attention to.
And come to think of it, there's this girl who will have to stay with him for the rest of the show. A lot of possibility that it's never gonna be me. Maybe not now, but who knows later?
For years that this feeling has been with me, sometimes I grow tired. But these little things that he does... work like magic again. My love for him goes back in a snap and I'm hopelessly back to where I started. Wondering how to do the magic that works well to me for him.
Then I came to point that I just wanted to put an end to this, if it shall be, once and for all. I don't know exactly how I would do it, but I'll really just have to tell him. All this. I have to give it a chance before missing any other chance at all... before he leaves for America, and Australia, and somewhere else but near me.
I don't care anymore if it's all gonna be in vain. I don't know when else I will have this rush and confidence to do it. I'm not sure how I will handle the outcome, but I've prepared for the worst... or so I thought.
The day before he leaves, I had to go see him, besides that I am going with my grandma, I have a goal in mind. I have to do this! No turning back now. It's now or never, is what keep saying to myself.
He was absentmindedly attending to his racket at the temple when I found my chance. I approached him as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world. He must be spacing out, or he didn't mind at all, but I stood there like a stupid person awkwardly, waiting for him to acknowledge my presence. But no such thing. Then it all comes back rushing to me. All the times that I wish he would look at me without turning his face, and that he would hold my hand, hug me or at least make me feel wanted... It's just like this. Right here, right now. He's breaking my heart every time. Before I knew it, tears blurred my vision, uncontrollable sobs escaped my mouth, and my knees failed me... then he finally turned to me. "Why do you always do this to me," was what I was thinking, but it came out aloud.
My vision was blurred by my tears but I could feel his panic at the first moment, and then sadness the next. Perhaps it was all just my imagination, but heck I care anymore. I've come this far. Let me be rejected already, once and for all. This madness had to end already. Enough of this fantasies that he'll return my feelings someday, or even if he doesn't, that I'll still care for him. I can't take that shit anymore. He's gonna be mine if it's going to be. I don't care anymore.
He tried to help me up but my legs just basically doesn't have any strength at the moment that I'd rather just stay down. He stayed low with me while he tries to keep the eye contact. "I'm sorry, Sakuno," made me stop breathing and I broke into sobs again, burying my face in my hands.
I hope I didn't miss his panicked expression, but he tried to tell me, "I-I'm sorry, I don't mean anything yet... I mean, I'm sorry that you're crying like this... I think it really is my fault..." His last few words fading, "But l don't think you'll understand me either," he continued, "truth be told, I think I know what you want to tell me, I'm afraid I've known ever since," he left those words in the air as if it's something that needs to be remembered. "But I don't want to hear them from you, not especially now," he finished.
I don't remember if it was because of my sobbing that I indeed didn't understand him, like he predicted, but I tried to cooperate. I didn't say anything to him. That time, I failed again, big time. I can't help thinking that it was stupid of me to not say it when the moment is right in front of me... but then again, why would he not want me to say what he thought I wanted to say, and why?
He'll be gone for a long time, two years at the minimum. Two years of no Ryoma, no magic. Nothing. How will I manage? Two years might seem like a short time, perhaps it is, but what might happen in that span of time is what bothers me the most... He'll be going around the globe, searching and working his way up to the professional world of tennis, but what if he also finds something else? What if, he gets to meet the girl who's gonna stay with him the rest of the magic show? What if? Too many what ifs.
But in the end I decided to trust him. If he really did know, he would not stall me of something he knows I just wanted to get off my chest, just because. He probably knows it matters so much to me for him to hear what I had to say... but he decided that he cannot hear it right now. He probably has his reasons. Maybe I just really need to wait... which I did.
2 years really had past. It seemed long when I think of him, but rather short when I think about where I am now. For 2 years, I distracted myself with working as an Interior Designer. Always ever trying to avoid any probable romantic encounters with interested guys. I've also been to places. About thrice, I am almost near him, but the timing is testing me all the times, as if seeing if my patience is in check.
Being 'the' Ryoma that he is, I've heard a lot about him. Not from him exactly though, often times. I had heard about rumors and speculations flying around about his suspected relationships with different women, from different lines of living, lifestyle and career, I lost count. It would get into my nerves many times, but thanks God, he confirms them as false... just not from him directly... but still.
So 2 years it has been. I am here standing among the crowd in the airport, holding a placard that shouts his name 'Ryoma Echizen', very much delighted that he only told me. He didn't want a lot of people coming to fetch him in the airport was what he reasoned, and so I obliged, but a part of me, of course is taking pride that I must be special just like this. It's probably his magic working on me, just like old times. Even if I were right or wrong on this assumption, one thing's for sure. "I'm not gonna wait another 2 years to tell him what I feel for him."
As the magician appears on stage, I, who is sitting in the front row, enthusiastically waved my hand, as if saying "Me! Me! I want to take part in your magic trick!" He took notice of me and smiled ever so brightly and I thought, "There's the first trick," he approached me among the crowd, and hugged me tightly. I had no time to be flustered anymore. I am not that same girl you left stuck with her feelings, I hugged him back until it became a squeezing contest.
My eyes welled up and he let go of me, probably thinking he must be hurting me... but he should know better... "That was your second trick, isn't it?" I thought aloud. He smiled sweetly, I hope time stands still.
We stood there, just smiling at each other, probably thinking different things... It's feels bad but I really need to, "I have something to tell y-", he cut me off by hushing me with his finger, "I don't care. I have something to tell you. Much more important than what you have to say," He beamed.
I didn't say something in anticipation but he didn't say something for a long time. I was itching to tell him, but he's stalling me. I've waited this long, I needed to tell him or I'll go crazy. "I real-" he cut me off again, but this time by embracing me into his arms I cannot do anything.
Then he whispered, "You remember that time? I have no other reason, just that I don't want it coming from you first, but I have also wanted to tell you...I love you, Sakuno."
I begged him to let go of me by pushing him gently to look at his face, I wanted to smile, to show him my happy face, but I broke into sobs instead when the words he said keep ringing in my ear, "s-say that again," I requested in between sobs. "I said I love you, Ryuzaki Sakuno," he said smiling sweetly, then my legs felt like melting chocolate, and my sobs grew louder we started getting attention from the people around, but I couldn't care less. I couldn't even care less if he had to almost carry me to a more private place while smiling apologetically to the people we walk past.
When I have calmed down a bit, he sat down beside me, the smile I fell in love for, never leaving his face. I love this person.
"So?" He said eyeing me curiously, "what was it you wanted to tell me?" tilting his head mockingly.
"You're such a tease," I managed to blurt out, but I can feel my face getting redder by the moment. He must be actually enjoying this. I buried my face in my hand and muttered, "You have probably heard me say it to you many times before, right?" trying to steal a glance on his reaction. He tilted his head more, feigning innocence, "when exactly?"
"On the day you were leaving 2 years ago, in this airport," I recalled. Seeing him cringe his nose, I know he's not really heard it when I whispered "I love you" when he was walking away from me. He looked confused for a moment, but eventually, that smile started creeping again.
"I must have not really heard that one, but tell me about the other times," he teased. It must really be fun seeing me so red like a tomato. "Is this one of your magic tricks too? You've gotten better." I tried changing the topic.
"I have no idea whatsoever of what you're saying, you've been mumbling about magic trick since before," He admitted, "But if it's a magic trick you want, I'll show you," he challenged. He reached for his pocket and I have no idea of what he's trying to pull, but I'm definitely looking forward to it, as I my attention was what on his hand were reaching for. Taking advantage of the moment, before I knew it, he had closed the distance between our lips.
It was a gentle and sincere kiss. But I was definitely caught off guard, not having enough time to realize what has happened. He looked at me with a smile and I thought too myself that I could live my life seeing this everyday... But I wasn't sure after a moment. I felt my knees struggling for strength, I sank down on the seat behind heart is beating fast I'm starting to think that this is impossible for me to handle.
He set his eyes to meet mine, asking me, "Are you alright?" seeing my face so red, he must really be worried.
"I..." I started, but I can't find the right words to say. "I, I don't know what to say," I finally continued.
He sighed in relief and he smiled brightly, "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know, no matter what."
"No!" I exclaimed, rather loud that I was also surprised with myself, but I don't really care. I stood up, not losing his gaze. He also stood up. "I... I also have something to say." I said quietly.
"Yes?" He smiled gently.
"I-I've been wanting to tell you this... in person... for a long time now. When you were leaving two years ago, I had almost lost hope... B-but... This... I can't even imagine..." I started stuttering, his smiling face makes me lose it more. I stood up straight, suddenly very confident of myself, "Ryoma Echizen," I smiled, "I love you more than anything and anyone in the world!"
He hugged me tightly and though it was not meant for me to hear, I heard him sigh. "I was afraid I'd also lose you, thank you. Thank you for waiting for me." I giggled, and he also did.
"So?" I asked after a moment of just enjoying the moment. "So?" he asked back, "Congratulations," he beamed, "you have a boyfriend now, finally," while giving his signature smirk.
"Haha. You think you're the first?" I said jokingly. I saw his face lose his smile, "What?" he asked alarmed, crinkling his nose bridge. I turned away from him to hide my wide grin, "For now, I win," I thought to myself.
I could sense his panic while trying to catch up to me, while making sure his luggage are complete. I turned around to see him really losing it, and I can't help but smile at this sudden change of image of The Ryoma Echizen. When he saw me waiting for me, he fastens his pace and obviously still hung up on the joke I intended. "What are you on about me not being your fi-" I cut him off by placing a kiss on his lips, as gentle as the one he initiated a while ago. Seeing him lose his cool, looks adorable I can't help myself.
I looked at him in the eye and smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry too much, at least you were my first kiss," I whispered to his ear. I felt him smile, it didn't last though, I'm sensing he can't and won't accept the whole truth.
"I still don't like it, take it back" he demanded. I tilted my head to the side to feign innocence. "You want me to take back what I said? Do you mean the 'I love you'?" I teased. "Yes! Wait, what? I mean, no! Not that." He exclaimed, confused.
I'm really enjoying this, I thought to myself. I laughed hard at this sudden turn of events. I took a step closer to him, and hugged him. "I know, I love you, and I'm never taking it back. Instead, I'm sorry," I paused for effect, "Because I'll say it every day you might get tired... but still I'm not backing down". He hugged me back, ever so tightly. "Challenge accepted," he answered, "but I'm telling you, don't lose yourself because my magic won't lose to yours."
"So in the end, I was the girl go gets so stay with him the rest of the magic show. Sweet!" I smiled to myself as we drive down to their house, and him holding my hand.
[A/N] Hmm. Sooo, this is my first story after a very long time, 6 years, is it? If you see any grammar mistakes, it's not really intended. I just wrote this on a whim, not much proofreading of sorts had happened, so just let it go. I missed writing stories. I miss RyoSaku. I miss anime. hoho
