Hermoine Granger was not okay. Through the war she had stayed strong for Harry and Ron, she was there when Harry fell into a deep depression about the realization that he had been carrying a part of Voldemort's soul. Ron had also fell into a deep depression for the loss of his brother, Hermoine had been there for him through it all. Maybe Harry and Ron had forgotten what she did prior to the hunt for horcruxes, and unreversable obliviation on her parents. Once the dust settled from the war, the ministry offered the trio a pass for the NEWTS so they could immediately start helping. Of course, Harry and Ron jumped into auror training, while the gift was very nice, Hermoine was never one miss a test.

Which led to today, her trip back on the Hogwarts express. The war had also taken a toll out on Ginny, but she was using sex to cope. So Hermoine sat alone in her own compartment reading a muggle romance novel. Would she have decided to come back if she knew she would be this alone?

A voice interrupted Hermoine from her thoughts, "Granger, do you mind if I sit in here?" Draco Malfoy was halfway in the compartment as he asked. Since the Malfoy's defected in the war, the other snakes were not very happy. He had already been attacked once on the platform.

"As long as you're quiet," She turned back to her book giving him a small smile as he sat down across from her.

"Are you head girl this year?" Her eyes flicked up from her book and gave him a quick nod.

"I'm head boy, we get our own chambers. It will be so nice to actually live alone, plus living with you it's bound to be quiet."

Hermoine closed her book and looked out the window, "Hopefully not too quiet."

Draco left her to her thoughts for most of the train ride, until Professor Snape found them for the prefect meeting.

The great hall was full of noise when the feast started. Ginny had sat next to her chatting away about some boy she had been seeing. "Herm, do you want to go to Hogsmeade this weekend? I need some sugar quills." Hermoine nodded, she needed a few new books to read.

They watched the first years get sorted and then walked to their respected dorms. Draco was already in their dorm checking it out, "Granger, you need to see this tub! You could fit about four people in here." Hermoine gave him a small smile, it must be nice to get excited over the little things.

Closing the door to her bedroom, warding it and silencing it. She fell to the bed in tears, why had she come back to Hogwarts? She couldn't even cope when she was around Harry and Ron, too busy caring for them. Throwing herself in schoolwork would not help the lingering depression.

Hermoine had read in her younger years about depression and coping methods, she never thought she would get this deep. During the summer Harry and Ron used to get nightmares pretty much nightly, Hermoine did not sleep much so she could help them. One very bad night for Harry, he lashed out at her when he woke up. She had a black eye for almost a week, but in that moment. In the pain, she felt alive. From then it progressed from scratches, to cuts with a razor blade. There was something about the pain, it was addicting. Harry and the Weasley's never suspected anything, so she kept going. It wasn't long before her legs were covered in small cuts and healing scars. With Hogwarts coming up she had started to cut higher on her thigh, that way her skirt could cover.

Pulling her trusty razor from her trunk she sat back down on the bed. She still had about three cuts on her upper thigh that were still closing from the night before.

"One more... just one more." She whispered, pulling up her skirt to where the other cuts were. Lightly pressing the razor against the smooth skin of her thigh, letting out a small cry at the pain. One was never enough, and before she fell out of the haze of the pain there were four new cuts on her leg. Pulling out a small cloth she dabbed the blood away. With using a razor, the cuts were not deep enough to be serious, but big enough to scar.

After changing for bed, she lay awake staring at the ceiling. She needed someone to talk to, someone that didn't know she was a war hero. Where she could cry for help to a person who had no idea who she was. Blowing out the candle she rolled over in bed, she needed her rest for classes starting tomorrow.

Over the summer she had charmed all her tights so that they were sheer and would not show anything under them. Her scars were safe, but what she safe from herself?

Meeting up in the common room the next morning, Hermoine and Draco headed to the great hall for breakfast. The Gryffindor's and Slytherins had potions class right after breakfast with Professor Snape. Since the war Hermione had been harboring a big crush on the dark-haired professor. Saving him in the shrieking shack had not been her plan, but she could never leave someone suffering, no matter how terrible they had treated in the past. Spying him eating breakfast at the head table, she sat down with Ginny.

"Potions with Snape first thing? Hopefully after last year he's softened up a bit." Ginny complained, piling food onto her plate.

"We all cope in our own ways Ginny," Hermoine said softly buttering her toast and pouring a large cup of tea. When she was younger, she had loved putting as much sugar as possible into her tea, but as she grew the bitter taste had become appealing.

Meeting with Draco as they left the great hall, they walked down to the potion's classroom. "Granger, want to partner up?"

"Don't worry about me, I think Blaise is my next target," Ginny chirped in from Hermione's right side.

"Yes, Draco I'll partner with you. We need to make you a nickname, something easier to say."

"Ferret!" Hermione rolled her eyes at Ginny's antics.

"But Draco is a nickname, my full name is Draconis." Malfoy complained as they neared the potions classroom. The girls burst into laughter, earning a glare from Professor Snape.