Romance
It was as if this cold, bloodstained heart had been ripped out of my bruised chest. My angel, my everything, the light that blinded me in order to guide me to a cruel and hollow destiny had left me. He was a demon, an angel, my own personal heaven in this hell that surrounded me. " I can't shine bright enough for you"Why it happened goes beyond my powers, my imagination isn't as strong as to conjure up such an idea as perfection encarnated. I guess that Edward never really knew at what lenghts I would've gone for him. In every desperate attempt as to quench his thrist I only seemed to make it worse and here, now, in the very altar I exchanged my vows to him, I lay with my life spilled right before his eyes. Those gold eyes that seem to scream out the beauty death will bring. I let go from the idea that eternity was meant for me. I know now that he will forever haunt me, life and death. And the romance of it all is that I lived thanks to him, starcrossed lovers until the end of everything. And this dream that keeps on coming, and the loss that seems to unfold.
The faint whisper of his lullaby will cease my pain no more.
Vanity is such a dirty thing to play with "Honey this mirror isn't big enough foir the two of us"Bella's POV
I stayed in my bed unable to move as I remembered once more the horrible nightmare that has been torturing me night after night. Waking up in a sweat, my brown hair tangled around my throat and my pale skin glistening even paler. This nightmare that keeps me from smiling comepletely when I wake up. I struggle to forget it but somehow I find myself reliving it over and over again. As if for ths godforsaken reason it's suppossed to mean something. Edward, my lover, my hero, my angel, my everything, he promised to potect me. And so he has, he has taken care of me, rescued me from the dark waters that once threatened to drown me. But he can't reach me in this nightmare. And so I dream and cry...
"Bella! My love I know this may be the hardest thing you'll ever do but I love you and I promise I will try to make it worth it." Edward told me as he held my hands between his cold fingers, he smiled flashing his teeth and kissed my neck.
I shivered at this. "Edward why would you get my hopes up like that? Stop being such a tease when you know you've been denying me this for months now. Can't you see I want to die for you!" I screamed as my tears were flowing freely, I was so weak when I found myself around him.
"God Bella you are simply the most annoying girl in the planet. Try to not spoil the moment, will you?" He said, faking anger and failing, My knowing smile replaced my grim and then I kissed him.
Suddenly it appears as if I'm in a church. It's filled with red roses, the dim lights giving it a gothic touch.
The amount of pills I'm taking
Counteracts the booze I'm drinking,
And this vanity I'm breaking
Lets me live my life like this,
And well I find it hard to stay
With the words you say.
Oh baby let me in,
Oh baby let me in.
Then I saw him, waiting for me in all his glory, waiting for me dressed in black, my favorite crooked smile displayed across his perfect lips. I look at myself, dressed in white, a lace gown covered my small frame. I walk towards him as the reality dawned upon me. This was our wedding. I held my breath when I was facing him, afraid to cry, though the tears were stinging my brown eyes and suddenly I felt the warm tears grace my skin. Everything went black, my heart raced and I could see myself, as if my sould had slipped out of my body. There I was, my face covered in scarlett, it wasn't the playful blush
Edward loved, those were tears, crimson red tears. Blood covered my face and the smell filled the air. Suddenly Edward's gold eyes turned coal black, my heartbeat raced as if my heart wanted to jump out of my chest and then it happened. A thousand images at once, his teeth sinking on my neck, Rosalies laughter and mom's cry of pain.
I had died on my wedding day. My tears were blood that caused my whole life to end in one sharp bite.
"And you can cry all you want to,
I don't care how much
you'll invest yourself in me."
I kept watching, my limp body in my once beloved arms. The Cullens and their bloodthirsty faces and the roses started bleeding as well. I felt a hand on my shoulder and there it was, death had come to take me away from my lover forever. I was destined to cry, to burn, to silence my heart forevermore.
I woke up crying silent tears, praying that Edward wouldn't be able to hear me. He of course heard me, being a vampire and all... He rushed to my side to confort me.
"Bella, what is wrong with you dear?" He asked, panic coloring his tone
"I had a weird dream, nothing more. You don't have to worry about it" I told him, trying to convince myself that I had nothing to worry about. It's almost scary how he recognizes every lie, I'm horrible at lying still I gave it my best shot.
"Isabella Swan! You are not going to lie to me about why you woke up crying in the middle of the night. Now Bella, my love, I've heard you talk in your sleep many times but I know better than to leave you alone when you wake up crying and shaking. I just want to make sure you're allright. I love you and I want you to feel safe." He told me as he kissed my forehead.
Oh, was I ever going to get used to his velvet voice, his scent and touch? When every little detail shoves my pain away. Suddenly I felt calm, thinking that it was just a silly dream. Nothing to worry about, perfection never hurt anyone.
"Edward, you are everyrthing to me. But you know what might make me loads happier?" I asked him, hoping he wouldn't see through my charade.
"Don't start with me again! Bella, I don't want to hear anymore about that ridiculous idea of me killing you and turning you into a monster!" Frustration evident on his perfectly carved face.
"Edward I just want you to realice that if you leave me like this... well I will die! Can't you see that I'm not good enough for you? You might leave me and I could never stand that!"
"Bella, darling, perfection is so overrated! I want you to lead a normal life, you will not become what I am just so you can feel better about yourself!"
"The only time I've ever seen you act like a monster is today! Why are you acting like this? As if vanity is the only reason I love you? You are being very condescending and I won't stand for it." The words were out of my mouth before I could control them. Yest I wanted to be like him, to be powerful and perfect but nothing else matter when the thought of spending an etternity with him surfaced.
Edward looked so sad, angry, his eyes were lacking the usual glow they had to them. Suddenly my room felt so cold, my hands were shaking and my tears now started to drip.
His last words were " I'm sorry Bella, I love you but I can't. I need yo go talk to Carlisle, promise me you'll be safe!" I nodded and with that he left.
I don't think I've ever felt so alone since I met him. Alice saw me being one of them; why would he be so selfish and stubborn and go against my will? Who am I even kidding, I could never be angry at my angel. I'm just angry because I know I will never be able to compare to his grace and perfection. He is everything I want because he is everything I'm not. Yet he insist on keeping me as I am. It stunned me, he was cold today, I saw something in him I hadn't seen in a long time, those eyes filled with ancient grief. Centuries of blood and lust layed before me as I cried my worries away.
Well I hope I'm not mistaken
By the news I heard from waking.
And it's hard to say I'm shaken
By the choices that I make.
Well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say.
Oh baby let me in,
Oh baby let me in.