This is a story about Gunnery Cheif Ashley Williams after the destruction of the Normandy and her first visit back home. The poem in this story is Ulysses by Lord Alfred Tennyson.
Ashley always loved shore leave but this time it was bitter sweet. She had just watched her friend, her lover, her superior go down with the ship. She would rather have worked through the pain but Admiral Hackett refused to give her new orders till she took leave. So she decided to go back home to see the family. She still had a few hours before the shuttle landed on Amateratsu and could get some sleep but she hadn't slept a full night without seeing his face. So she stopped sleeping all together.
The mind is powerful and she could not resist the sleep. Suddenly she was back on the Normandy right after the initial attack. She starts to run to find Shepard thinking that if she were to die it was going to be in his arms. She finds him near the cryo-pods sending a mayday alert to the Alliance.
"Will the Alliance get here in time?" Ashley said.
"I didn't send a mayday so they can find our frozen corpses" Shepard said sternly "I need you to get everyone to the escape shuttles"
"Joker is still in the cockpit" Ashley said, "I am not leaving either!"
An explosion knocked her off her feet and into Shepard's arms where she was only a few hours ago.
"I'll take care of Joker. You just get everyone on those shuttles" Shepard said.
"Commander…" Ashley wanted to say that she couldn't live without him and if he was going to die she was going to be by his side but she did not.
"Ashley go, now!" He said with some compassion as to say I know.
"Aye Aye" She responded.
She is running back to the escape pods grabbing others and she hated the fact that she always followed orders. She got to the escape pods and…
"Five minutes out Chief Williams" The pilot said waking Ashley from her exhausted nap.
"Thank you" Ashley responded. She wiped some sweat from her brow and sat up to straighten her Military uniform. She was not upset that she was awoken by the pilot because it saved her the pain of seeing the Normandy exploding again. Also, the realization that her commander her lover had just died.
The shuttle landed outside of her family's home. Her mother moved outside of the city after Dad died because it was closer to the graveyard where her husband was buried. The home was nestled into the one of the famous hills of Amarteratsu. The grass moved in the wind so that it looked like green waves for miles and miles. Sarah was the only one still living at home and was the first to greet Ashley.
Sarah sprints out of the house and jumps into Ashley's arms giving her a big bear hug.
"Hey I am so glad you are home" Sarah explained "Mom has been worried that the vids had it wrong and it was you not Shepard who died"
Ashley rolled her eyes knowing mom never fully trusted the vids.
"Yeah it was the cute one not me" Ashley mocked. Trying to show strength because she was the rock that Sarah depended on.
Sarah giggled "Oh you remember that" Sarah said still half giggling.
Ashley started to walk toward the house but Sarah stopped her.
"You should go say hi to Dad before you get settled because mom is gone for the day. And umm… you might forget if you get settled in" Sarah said biting her bottom lip.
Ashley knew how her sister worked and she was hiding something. "Who is in the house?" Ashley questioned "Is it a boy?"
"Of course not!" Sarah said biting her lip again. Ashley looked at her raising her eyebrow as to say you cannot hide anything from me.
"Fine!" Sarah wined "It is a boy but you remember my moves" Sarah started to bounce around like a boxer in the ring.
"Yeah I remember" Ashley said "You know I should go and see Dad. It could clear my mind" Sarah immediately gave her a hug and ran back to the house. Ash wasn't fully trying to be nice to her adolescent sister; she really thought a visit to her father could clear her mind.
It was a short walk to the graveyard from where she was standing but she decided to take her time and listen to the wind rustling the leaves of the trees. Her dad sometime talked about the language of the trees although she never seemed to hear their voices till now. She was getting closer to the graveyard now and the trees seemed to acknowledge her presence and invite her to listen.
It had been a while since she visited her father because of the hectic universe recently. See never had gone this long without seeing her dad. To say he inspired her to be an Alliance Solider would be an understatement. She was born an Alliance Solider it was in her blood and he was the only one that truly understood her. He knew the burden that their name held and how she was determined to change it. When Ashley got into one of her rage moods over the injustice of the Alliance he would just touch her cheek and she would calm down.
Ashley now stood over her father's grave and the wind died down like an audience waiting for a performance.
"Hi Dad" Ash said like the little girl greeting her dad coming home from a long day.
"Sorry I haven't been around in awhile. I have been serving on one of the elite starships in the galaxy." She laughs because he would not have believed her till he walked on the ship himself. "I was on the crew of the first human Spectre." She laughs louder because he would not believe that even if Shepard was standing right in front of him.
She suddenly started to develop tears in the corner of her eyes because she realized that he could never meet Shepard. "Unfortunately you can't ever see them because it was destroyed and the Spectre was still on board" A tear now streaked down her face "I should have been with him" She had not felt this guilty since Kaidan was left to die on Virmire.
"I loved him Dad" She had not admitted this to anyone even Shepard. "I would have rather died in his arms than live without him" Tears are now flowing down her face. She felt the cold breeze on her face and it reminded her of her dad comforting her.
"No!" She yelled "It's not alright a Williams has to be better than the best and who am I if I let the best die alone!" She felt as if her Dad was with her in that moment in the breeze saying it is alright you have already done more than any other Williams could have.
"No" she whispered through her tears. She clearly could not accept that fact that she had already restored the Williams name.
"I still have more to do" Her tears stopped "I have to do what he is now unable to do"
She knew it was time to recite the poem that he recited for her when she was the little tomboy frustrated that the boys did let her play with them. Also the poem she recorded when he went out on another shit assignment. She knew the poem by heart now and it seemed to be connected to her in some way.
She made it almost all the way through the poem until she got to the line that reminded her most of Shepard.
"Death closes all, but something ere the end" She began to cry again "Some work of noble note, may yet be done" The tears again are flowing down her cheeks. "I don't know why this is so hard" She laughs nervously. She wonders if her Dad thought that she loved Shepard more than him which made her cry more. After a few moments she regained her composure wiped the tears from her face then continued the poem. "Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods."
The rest of the poem she recites without another crying event. She gently kisses the gravestone then turns to return home. The wind blew through her hair which was out of her usual bun and flowing down from her shoulders.
"Thank you" she said under her breath realizing that her dad was with her always in the wind.
She now can see the house in the distance and began to reflect on her future. She meant want she said before that she has to continue where Shepard left off. She had to be the better than the best and that was to continue being an Alliance Solider.
For the first time in a while a smile was on her face. It was in that moment that she realized she was going to be alright. Although she would never forget Shepard's smile after saying one of his lines that should be in a cheesy greeting card.