Title: Inconveniences.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist.
Characters: Roy, Maes.
Rating: R.
Gerne: Humor.
Notes: For Lady Jade, who hasn't had a very nice day today... cheer up, hon, who cares about the neighbours anyway?
Inconveniences.
Maes Hughes had just relished in a quiet evening with a book, lounging on the living room couch and a nice cup of hot chocolate to compensate the harsh winter that was all but roaring outside.
The front room banged open and one very annoyed Roy Mustang stormed inside, face a scowl. He made a bee line for the small cabinet in the corner and didn't even bother to serve himself a glass, rather taking a clean shot of scotch directly from the bottle. Maes arched an eyebrow.
"I'm fucking killing them."
"Don't you mean incinerating?" The taller man mused wryly, watching as his best friend let himself fall against a chair, glowering and holding the scotch close to him.
"No, I'm killing them first, then reviving them, then killing them off again... I won't burn them until I'm bored," Came the surprisingly smooth reply. Maes laughed.
"I see," He arched his eyebrows, "Havoc or Fuery?"
"Both," Roy snarled slightly, glaring at the window darkly, "And Hawkeye, because she heard about it and decided it was..." Sneer, "Cute."
"I find it strangely amusing you wish to kill every one involved, but the only... ah, criminal in the whole mix," Damn Maes and his brain and his smart ass remark and his... his... his damn Maes-ness.
"The kid was drunk," Roy replied testily, "He didn't have a fucking clue of who he was-"
"Humping?" The taller man supplied the word when Roy faltered.
"Yes," Roy hissed, "But that's not the point."
"No, the point is finding the original photos," Dark golden eyes flashed as the smirk was hidden behind the cup, "If it's any consolation, at least no one outside our circle has seen them. Can you imagine the Führer's face if he saw them?"
Roy made a terrified noise in the back of his throat, eyes wide and looking positively horrified. Maes stood up slowly, stretching as he did so and grinned.
"Well," He placed a casual hand on Roy's shoulder, hair obscuring his eyes slightly, "At least tell me I shouldn't be jealous."
"Don't you have a wife and a child to torture? As in, right now?" Roy snapped irritably, flushing horribly and hating himself for it.
Maes kissed him to kill off any other protests. By the time he was done, Mustang remembered faintly that he was pissed off, but couldn't bring himself to care or remember what about. Maes grinned wickedly at him as he went over to retrieve his coat and prepared to leave.
"I'll leave you to your... inconveniences, then."
Roy made a half hearted sound of agreement, and Maes was on his way, chuckling even as he felt the cold of winter like a physical blow.