A Ballad of Queen Elizabeth I
In faire London town we lay our scene.
Where a lad named Lucius proclaimed his love
To a princess, Bess, fit to be queen.
Twas marriage he wished shined from above.
The lady withdrew her hand and said,
"Kind, sir, I fear thou wish me only to be king,
And that I cannot be heart led
When tis only want of power you bring."
Oh, Malfoy, that arrogant cad,
Could not accept for life or pride
The disgrace to be had
And a girl his plans to deride.
Said he in fit of passion and anger
Since ye will not have me
Oh thankless and heartless, hanger
This curse upon thy lips be!
Every man, every cad, every fellow, every fop,
To ask of thy hand with intention forsooth
Shall be returned like every peasant or sop
With that deleterious word from lip and tooth!
The lady in rage flew at him fighting hand and foot,
"How dare thou", cried she damaging both glove and slipper
"Thou art just a vile dog to treat one as I
With such distaste and treason spewed from thy flipper!"
"Oh!" said he with a scornful laugh and fie,
"What a surprise, the bitch has bite!
No demure lass in linen and lace is she!
No maiden all in white!
Just a wonton whore do I see!"
She called for the guards, she called for her ladies!
"Help! Help!" cried she as the rounder did rip,
Did claw and did rake her body like Hades.
Upon the ground, upon the stone,
Silk and damask all around,
Till running feet and shouts in dire tone,
Fell upon them, the din abound.
That cad, that rascal pulled from that divine
Her face was red and hair askew
"This manner, this farce has shocked me to the nine!"
Screamed she, "For this day he shall rue!
Take him to the tower, to the highest cell!
Lock up that door and throw away the key!"
But that slippery snake knew every trick , every spell
With a bang and a flash, vanished did he.
Though all in the kingdom hunting high and low
Never a trace of him was found
And fair Queen Bess would never a man know
For now and always her tongue was bound.
No man to ask in heartfelt plea
Could ever know that wondrous swell
To utter those word, "Will you marry me?"
And hear from her lips that marvelous tell.
For Malfoy in that fit of rage and kind
Did jinx that poor maiden of royalty kin
And no witch or wizard could ever find
The proper words or charm to say yes to men.
In 1584 Lucius Malfoy was brought before the Grand Wizarding Tribunal in London, England for his crimes against her Highness Queen Elizabeth I. He was accused of putting a jinx on the woman that would make her say no to any man that asked her to marry him. Lucius Malfoy pleaded guilty to the charges and in defense said the girl had made him do it. She had driven him to jinx her. At the end of the trial the man was acquitted of his crimes and asked to remove the jinx from her. No other witch and wizard had been successful. Lucius Malfoy informed them that he did not know the counter-jinx and the matter was put to rest.