Have fun, and beware of inside jokes! Note: Nancy=Legolas, because he likes to nance around!
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it doesn't belong to
us.
Somewhere, deep in the darkness of that ugly little corner of the message board, a yeerk had taken over Nancy's wardrobe, and was forcing the nancing Elf to wear socks on his hands, fluffy pink bunny slippers on his ears, and A GOLD RING ON A SILVER CHAIN! *bumbumbuuuum!* A Faerie suddenly appears and says she will grant Nancy, Gollum, and other random people 3 wishes each. The Yeerk made Nancy wish for a lifetime supply of kandrona rays, a blade ship, and and some fluffy bunny slippers with goggley eyes so that he could complete his bunny pajamas outfit, and make Visser Three oh, SO jealous (he was VERY envious of the Visser's Veleek), and also to attract a bunny mate.
However, the evil Mary Sue had morphed into a lentil, and was summoning entire hordes of flying monkeys so that she could get Nancy some cameos on TPS! but then Rachel returned from the dead, and ate the yeerk! S Nancy stopped watching Animorphs, because he had no idea who was who! Then Frodo randomly appeared wearing a pink tu-tu and said, "I like spinning! It makes me feel all tingly inside!" He then resumed spinning when suddenly Hika and StarKate appeared out of no-where, and started to fight for possession of Frodo! Little did they know that Frodo was secretly in love with Boromir, who was miffed because lucyjekyll kept asking him, "Why does Sean Bean LOOK like it should rhyme but it DOESN'T?" Plus, Boromir was in love with Bill, and thought Frodo liked Nancy.
So he went to the stables, where he discovered twelve lavender emus selling lemonade to Pippin, who had dyed his hair pink. He did this because he was trying to attract Sam's attention. Sam, meanwhile, was trying to glomp Aragorn, who was dancing along to some Japanese songs, and trying to sing along (off key) even is he didn't know the lyrics! Then San and V randomly appeared, and shot him in the arse, screaming "QUIT SINGING!" and "ARAGORN/SAM!"
Then Aragorn randomly appeared, screeched "DAMN YOU, FANGIRLS!", shot San and V, and randomly disappeared again. And Aragorn was afraid, because he had just seen himself disappear.
Meanwhile, San and V were nancing around with arrows through their heads! They ran into C-chan and her many Nikas, and started talking when C-hna said "Did you know you have an arrow in your head?" and they said "YES!" But then they all turned around, and saw the evil, lentil-morphed Mary sue!
"AAUGH!" they screamed in terror. But then the Mary-Sue was squashed by a giant deformed mushroom! The mushroom's name was George.
Then Merry and Pippin came and started fighting over the mushroom and shouting random phrases is Spanish, French, and Sindarian!!! While they were fighting, C-chan came up to them and jomped Pippin, which resulted in Aragorn and Sam getting 'ideas' which resulted in them jomping eachother. Suddenly Hika came out of Nowhere, said, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!", then ran back into Nowhere. Meanwhile Mary-Sue was torching Valerie by sending numerous poorly-spelt and punctuationless flames, which resulted in Val going insane, and killing the sue. Meanwhile, Nancy and Arwen had randomly appeared, and were snogging; Aragorn and Sam were...I'd rather not go into that...and George the mushroom was in a fight with Merry and Pippin, who were trying to get rid of C-chan, but George was happy, because the hobbits were distracted, and wouldn't eat him!
But then Frodo came by and announced to the crowd "I LOVE NANCY!!!" George couldn't take that, for he felt that Nancy might be contagious and spread his Nanciness around. So to discourage Frodo, George whispered sweet nothings in Frodo's ear. Frodo, being so freaked out, ran away from the scary mushroom straight into Legolas' arms.
The supergalactic plums were not happy about this, not at all, so they started baking pies in a futile attempt to get Keru's attention. Meanwhile, Arwen had stumbled across Frodo and Nancy, so she and Nancy were sobbing. ^*^ So the supergalactic plums gave them pies! They rallied up an army of Mini-Balrogs for no apparent reason and started dancing on a randomly appearing table yelling 'AVOCADO!' so that the figure in the black cloak couldn't read their minds. This meant that Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz, the alphabet, was insulted by being used in these insane words, so it committed suicide. Unfortunately, it had Immortality Spray, so it rezzed. Then, a herd of supergalactic plums came, and started worshipping Alakarda, because they are after all her creations and therefore owe a lot to her.
The supergalactic plums began to discuss the merits of existentialism, nihilism, and other various isms (with the occasional ology just to shake things up a bit). They decided that they preferred Tryponisim, but unfortunately, they didn't know what that was - so they asked The Supreme Ruler of the Universe AKA Riona Leonhart. However (being an idiot) she didn't know, so they asked Tapioca, and she informed them that it was the Neil religion. And everyone bowed to Tolkien and Neil. (However, Mary Sue was a little disappointed that they hadn't chosen cannibalism, but they all went to [C-chan's note: at this point, they posted a link to a certain fanfic, and I have a feeling the author of that fanfic doesn't want anything to do with the story], and Visser Three ate Mary Sue.)
Mary Sue was delighted to see her rival devoured by Visser Three, who was currently using a toothpick to get rid of those annoying Mary-Sue-the-lentil bits that tend to stick in one's teeth. Unfortunately, the toothpick wasn't a Toothpick. It was actually A SUPERGALACTIC PLUM! It ate Visser Three and then challenged George the Mushroom to a battle to the death. That's right, ladies and gentlemen...
...
...
...
...Battleship!
After the loss of three submarines and five battleships, George cleverly deployed a mine that headed straight toward the Bahamas, where it relaxed on the beach with a piña colada.
Alakarda aka Darkflare aka Ju, the Ruler of Insufficient Light and Second to none decided that this was getting all too insane, so she gathered up her supergalactic plums, sent them off to eat sugar, and stood watching Mary-Sue, who wondered if anything was wrong with her perfect teeth and went to find a sharp pointy object to pick them. However, she slipped and fell in a huge puddle of smelly mud. When she came out she was perfectly dry and clean and smelling of purty flowers, because she's a MARY-SUE, duh. Suddenly Pippin and Aragorn ran in with rabid fangirls on their shoulders and Sam chasing Aragorn.
Then a bunch of Internet popups came out of nowhere, severely annoying everyone. To combat this problem, the rabid fangirls asked Aragoon ((great, a new Mini-Balrog…)) to help them. Courageously, Aragorn went to fight the eeeeeeeeeeeeevil pop-ups - but when he saw how many of them there were he screamed like a little girl and ran, leaving the rabid fangirls behind, crying. What happened next may amuse you. Pippin and Merry were no longer fighting but looking at the sky. Why? Why were they looking at the sky, you ask? They were looking at the sky because there was an urple exploding rubber chicken heading straight for Middle-Earth! OH NO!
Suddenly Nancy and Mary-Sue ran out yelling, "WE HAVE SPLIT ENDS!!" This made all the Nancy fangirls drool and all the Nancy haters laugh, and so a certain Nancy fangirl called [Claudz] decided to cut his hair as a token of her love, when suddenly EVERYONE DIED. However, they were resurrected in a pointlessly sappy Mary-Sueish scene which made all the anti-sues die again, and come back as ghosts. They proceeded to haunt Mary Sue until she lost her looks. Meanwhile, San was dead, so her dragons ate Riona Leonhart. And there was much rejoicing. (E: *dully* Yaaaaay.)
But then, San rezzed, because she wanted to eat the Sue. When she had guzzled the Pepto-Bismol, she made them hurl Riona back up. Riona then fell over because she had rotted away thanks to the digestive juices. Everyone set the body afire, signalling the beginning of the TPS MB body fire! V, unfortunately, swallowed Riona again, muttering "no one gets eaten by me and gets out recognisable". This all led to C-chan refreshing the page when she just finished doing the recap, which erased everything! OH NO!
So Riona boldly took up the task of doing a recap, and was released and resurrected for being such a good girl! ( ) Abruptly, Alakarda came along and dragged Riona off by her ear, because Tempest wanted her to get her ass away from this insanity and come and talk to her. She didn't. The wilver octiron tripods, meanwhile, had managed to eat themselves.
So San walked thrugh the forest, untill she came across a bridge. In front of that bridge, there was a knight in black. he had no arms and legs, and was screamig "THE BLACK KNIGHT ALWAYS WINS!!" . V troted over to him, and shouted "Looks, you steeewpid bastard! You've go no arems left!". This lead to The Ultimate Typo came along, It That Possesed Toey the Ring, and staterd makin evrone spel badlie, so theh wre al verry pised of. and then V ate It. and there was much rejoicing. (E: *dully* Yaaaaaaaay.)
But then a new nemisus came along. It was called.... Nemisus. It was an eeeeeeeevil dark cloud that weighed a thousand pounds. So when the cloud drifted over someone they would die of the all the weight that was over them. The cloud drifed over San (sorry) and all her dragons *good-bye* then it drifted over Merry and Pippin. It seemed immpossible to stop it until Hika made it the next guest on TPS!! ^*^ it went insane, and begane to fear cheese! But then again, who doesn't? Doodles shot the cloud down with an arrow and it fell and killed everyone. But THEN, by some miracle, The PPC came, and tried to kill the Sue! But she was already dead and they ended up bringing her back to life! So then, C-chan got an Idea for Hika to ask the PPC to be on the Pencil Show! And V, N, S, and T threatened Hika, telling her they would paint her urple if she didnt have the PPC and Smaug on TPS. so Hika said, "Fine, fine. The PPC and Smaug can be on TPS." So Hika and Doodles kidnapped them and forced them to reveal their most hideous secrets. This drove Smaug insane, and he started to BURN THE CARDBOARD BOX!!!!! *play dramatic music HERE* But then V kidnaped him, and locked him in her closet. She then proceded to jump up and down screaming random words in French.
"J'aime sauter en haut et en bas comme un singe!*" she yelled, and it was funny. Then she proceeded to do just that. Meanwhile, at the Evil Place of Evil, an eeeeeeevil plot was unfolding. It involved killing Hika and Doodles (in such a way that they don't come back), cancelling TPS and TURNING US ALL INTO MARY-SUES!!! OH, NO!!!! But then, Tina walksed by, waving her coffee pot od DOOOOOM! then they changed their minds, and all decided to write Hika/Doodles fanfiction.
This, of course, drove Doodles COMPLEATLY, violently, homicidaly insane. Hika just got mentally scared and moved on. So Doodles went insane and started killing everybody, EVEN NANCY - though only the fangirls were sad about that - and before long, the police came and stared at Riona with VERY odd expressions on their faces, while she did the Hundredth Post Dance and yelled 'GO ME!' Eventually everybody got bored of this. The One Wooden Spoon decided it should choke Doodles! and it did!
But then everyone was sad, because we missed our homicidal maniac (that wasn't a Nika). So Val decided to put words in San's mouth like this:
San: HEY! Stop putting words in my mouth!!
So she did. Then everyone was still sad cause Doodles was a donkey ^_^. But miraculouly Doodles came back from the dead and said, "Uhg. Me no likey this world." Then everyone reallized it wasn't her and realizes it was the monkey Pan's freind was talking about. So NCB ran by and whacked it with a herring, Causing it to melt into a puddle. A new enemy appeared. It was a BIG GIANT EYE named Nemisus and it looked like a BIG GIANT BLACK AND RED EYE THAT NEEDE VISENE REEEEEEEEALLY BAD. It first zapped San with it's lazer eye-beams therefor killing her. She will never return. .-_-.
Next, C0-chan came up and was a Nika! So C-chan discovered that C0-chan was a MORON. More of a moron that blonde jokes make blondes seem. More of a Moron than MARY-SUE, although not nearly as annoying. She had a lower IQ than COLEY. So low, COLEY called had to tell C0-chan that the hippo was not a butterfly, which made C0-chan yell "DON'T LAUGH AT HIS...De...de...depho...HIS WEIRD-I-TY!" So N made freinds with C0-chan. V decided to get revenge for San, and she did. then San appeared, and kicked people randomly. this was ignored, however, because Riona had become obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and so everyone had to bind and gag her to stop her from singing the songs from the musical episode constantly. Unfortunately, VZG was also obsessed with Buffy and kept everyone from stopping Riona form singing, and, on top of that, sang with her, forcing Super-Noax, Super-Karahka, and Super-Japhreth to join her, tearing them away from, Reallity. But Valerie suddenly appeared in her other form andn Killed all the evil monsters. But suddenly Satan and Aubrey appeared and Aubrey was EVIL!!! But because San liked Aubrey, The Plot holes got completely out of control, resulting in mass destruction! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! So everyone got back to normal (Well, as normal as you can be if you've read the story this far) in an alternate universe that they conquered.
THE END!
And there was much rejoicing.
Readers: Yaaaaay.
*"I like to jump up and down like a monkey!"