Painful Truth
by Metzger
In Urban Myths, Peri notes that men in general are prone to exaggeration. The Doctor seems to react uncomfortably to this statement. Why is that? She and Erimem both know.
The Doctor stopped after two drinks. Erimem and Peri did not.
He soon found out that when his companions were tipsy, they became extremely silly. When they became silly, they tended to gang up on him.
"Why is it, Doctor," Peri said in a mock-serious tone, "that you choose to travel with us big, bad aliens and not your own kind?"
"Yes, what would happen if humans found out the truth about you?" Erimem wondered. "Would they put you in a display such as the kind Peri was telling me about, for animals?"
"Oh, I hardly think so," the Doctor responded lightly. "I may be alien, but I assure you I can pass for an average Earth male under the vast majority of circumstances."
"Really?" Peri grinned. "The vast majority of circumstances?"
"Certainly. What are you getting at?"
"I believe Peri means. . . . " Erimem looked pointedly at the Doctor.
"What does she mean?" Uncomprehending, he followed her gaze down his body and then, despite being fully clothed, had to resist the urge to cover himself. "Oh, ahem, oh, dear."
"Well?" Peri prompted.
"Well, what?" the Doctor said vaguely.
"Trying to back out on proving it?" Peri pounced.
The Doctor sighed. "No, it's just that this is really rather undignified."
Peri moved in for the kill. "Put your money where your mouth is. Show us the goods."
The Doctor rolled his eyes slightly at her use of slang but proceeded to strip off.
When he was finished, Erimem and Peri simply stared at his naked body for a moment.
Then Peri said, "What do you think, Erimem?"
Erimem responded, "What do YOU think, Peri?"
The women looked at each other and immediately burst into giggles.
"Pardon!" the Doctor protested. "I'm feeling rather exposed here, you know."
They just laughed even harder, until tears flowed from their eyes. Finally Erimem recovered enough to say, "Sorry, Doctor. I think this was just one of those times when you wouldn't pass for an average human male."
Peri chimed in, "Below average, if anything." They burst into renewed gales of laughter.
As the Doctor restored his clothing, he sourly reflected that he should never have let Peri and Erimem raid his stock of Gallifreyan ale.