One year, a ncis fanfic

Hello. I'm currently working on updating my multi-chapter stories. I also have ideas for other chapters to previously completed stories, but it will be awhile because life majorly sucks right now. THANKYOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING, YOU GUYS MEND MY BROKEN HEART 3. I got a review from a fanfiction author that I've read a bunch of stories from that are some of my favorites and I was awestruck; it was kind of like when I met team Starkid last year, jaw just dropped. Sorry I'm rambling. Got this idea at work, I work by myself so I have plenty of time to think. I'm still rambling.

It has been one year. 1 year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8765 hours. 525949 minutes. One year since they were together. One year since they were a family. One year since they were a team. One year since they were happy.

Tony dreaded the day where he had to relive this day. And he had to do it for the rest of his life. Her, well, she didn't want to acknowledge it. Well, he didn't know, because he hasn't seen her since that day.

Today was the day his life fell apart, worse than being framed, worse than lying to Jeanne, worse than fighting the plague. It was even outranked with Kate's death.

The day his family died.

Not literally. But sometimes it felt like that. And it was partly true.

He can't believe it took nine years to be truly happy, but only one day to ruin it.

He changed that day. He was still normal tony just minus 10 or so percent. He no longer was a playboy, only seldom going out with the team after tough cases. He was more sensitive to family oriented cases, now understanding how things could fall apart, and how difficult they are to put back together.

He knew this day was going to be tough, but didn't really realize how difficult it would actually be.

The entire day felt like it was going in slow motion, with only one goal in mind which came at the very end of his long day, and he hoped the team didn't have a case so that he could be free for the evening.

Knowing that it was going to be a long day, he drank the entire night by himself watching the Sound of Music over and over again until he passed out.

He woke up extremely hung over dreading the day set before him.

Getting ready for work he was tempted to call in but he knew Gibbs would never let him knowing what the day meant and what he has been through the previous year.

He had arrived at work early; in fact he was one of the first people in the office. He had not been able to get adequate sleep the night before and he was feeling very restless that morning though he didn't want to be extremely early for work he couldn't let himself stay in his apartment just waiting for the hands to move on his alarm clock.

He dove into his paperwork that was stacked on his desk a foot high. He momentarily lost himself in his paperwork when Abby burst through the elevator doors in search for her Tony.

Seeing his gloomy face Abby's over-rambunctious attitude was just what she thought he needed.

"TONYYYY" she said scurrying into the bullpen to see one of her favorite agents.

"Hey Abs" he replied barely looking up from his mountainous pile of paperwork that had seemed to grow since the last time he looked at it.

Just as he answered, Abby had him in one of her bone crushing 'Abby hugs'.

"Is there anything I could do for you today Tony?" she asked remembering what today was.

"It is fine Abs I just want to finish this paperwork".

With that, Abby just gave him a nod and a kiss on the cheek and proceeded to take the elevator back down to her lab.

It was a normal at NCIS, but even though tony was work tirelessly on his paperwork, the time seemed to go by at a snail's pace. And that seemed to be when he let his mind wander to all the questions and thoughts that have been building up in his mind over the past year.

After working at NCIS for over a decade he understood that some relationships could not withstand in the face of a tragedy, and if they did it would be a miracle and it would be difficult. But he couldn't help wonder why she left, yes they had gone through a horrible tragedy, and yes it was terrible, but with all they had gone through over the years with everything inside and outside of the job, he thought they could withstand this even in the face of tragedy. But he was wrong.

Yes the loss was horrible, Gibbs went through it and he helped them for the most part. Some people can overcome the great loss and find strength in each other; others just crumble and tear at the seams. He knew the aftermath was going to be horrible but when he woke up that evening one year ago to check on his wife, he found that she was missing from their apartment, and some part of him knew she was not coming back, but he tried to be hopeful.

Though she had already been gone for two and a half weeks, Tony along with the rest of the team remained hopeful that she would return. It wasn't until one day, it was a Thursday, and that when a package had arrived at the office for Tony he knew that she wasn't coming back. Throughout the rest of the day Abby had been extra optimistic for the return of her female partner in crime. She didn't believe him when tony said that she wasn't coming back until he had shown her the divorce papers Ziva had sent him, and she subsequently burst into tears.

The day had continued at so, him filling out mountains of paperwork trying to keep his mind on the task at hand. He had had plenty of his team members coming up to him giving him words of wisdom, which were not really helping, trying to help him through the day.

It was a slow day at NCIS, there was not a case but still loads of paperwork to work on. He was currently the only person in the bullpen working on a case file while McGee was down in Abby's lab. He was working on a particular case file when Gibbs walked in with his coffee and placed a second cup of coffee on Tony's desk.

"Uh, thanks boss"

"No problem" he said.

With that Tony went back to work not really noticing his boss still standing at his desk. He looked up at his boss who was standing there focused on his coffee.

"Have you heard from Ziva?" Gibbs asked.

"Not since last year" he said still focused on his paperwork.

And he left is at that. That's what Tony needed just to be left alone.

The entire team was able to leave at 5 o'clock, which is the earliest they have been able to leave in months, but Tony not wanting to leave waited until it was dark to make an important stop before he headed home.

He drove there late that night to see one of the people he will always love no matter what, only the second person he had truly loved with all his heart. The only thing he wanted to do that day, his only worthwhile destination. He approached the cemetery where so many he loved lay. Mrs. Mallard. Kate. Jenny.

He saw someone standing at her grave. Someone he hasn't seen in exactly twelve months. He saw the absolute love of his life, Ziva. As he slowly walked over to his destination, she didn't flinch at the sudden company. She was expecting him to join her at some point in the evening, though he didn't know she was coming on this cold winter evening, she had too. He wasn't at all surprised to see her there. It was a comfort knowing that she was here of all places after not seeing her since a year ago today. Knowing that this day, still and will still, holds a place in both their hearts. When he stood beside her he could sense her immediately relax. Knowing that being, not only here of all places, but together places an immediate comfort of homily familiarity to her. The stood there together, standing side by side for a while before either of them said something.

"How have you been" she said shakily, the temperature was very low and he could tell that from the shakiness of her words. He could also tell that she was extremely nervous to be here, and to be here with him. After all, it has been a long time.

"How do you think I've been Zi?" he said a lot harsher then he meant it, well he meant it like that, but he didn't want to come out like that.

Ziva turned to look at him and he had never seen her like this. Her usual stone warrior face dropped, there were no tears but he could tell she was very hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that" he said reaching for her hand.

"Tony" she replied jerking her hand away from his. She lowered her head a bit "I do know how you have been, I have probably been the same way".

All of these questions were fluttering around Tony's head at a million miles a minute and he wanted answers to all of them but he was afraid she would get upset or guarded and then leave.

"How is the team?" Ziva asked, shifting so her body was once again facing the headstone.

"The team is fine. Abby still misses you, I don't think she'll ever stop; McGee is the same as always; Ducky still asked about you, just like everyone else".

"And Gibbs?" she wondered. Gibbs had been like a father to her, more than her biological father had ever been. She understood her sudden departure had not only affected her then husband Tony, but deeply impacted the rest of her tea-family as well.

"We all miss you Zi"

"I still love you" she said trying to hold back the tears that she had been suppressing all day.

"Then why did you leave?" he said trying to control his temper, now was not the time to argue and it was certainly not the place.

"I-I could not be here".

He of all people understood, but he stayed, he wanted to still be a part of their relationship, though it had changed.

"Where are you staying?" he asked curiously.

"With my mother's family in Europe, but I had to come back today". She explained.

"Is there any chance you would come back permanently?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"I cannot. Too much had happened and it is my fault, I let her get hurt. I can no longer forgive myself for what I have done to both of you". She said finally letting a lone tear escape.

He bent down putting a single lily on her gravesite.

Lillie Aviva DiNozzo

He gently squeezed her hand knowing he was there for her, knowing that she could no longer let him in after what she still thinks is her fault. It was not her fault; it was an accident that had life-changing consequences.

Tony was slowly being put back together, but Ziva was still falling apart.

Yeah so this is probably crap.

I know what I think about it. What about you?

DFTBA.

**PREQUEL TO ONE YEAR IS NOW UP ENTITLED ONE YEAR AGO**