Chapter 1: The Treacherous Television
"Oh shit," I backed into the coffee table in my pitifully small living room, in an effort to put as much space between me and the 10 year old television set that was being fucking weird.
I knew this because, in all my years of being a television aficionado (slash-couch-potato), I had never once seen one vibrate and shoot pink sparks of electricity about the room. And none of my previous television sets had ever produced gale-force winds that sounded like a wounded animal screaming in pain and sent the various bits of living room decor smaller than a toaster tumbling about the space.
I knew this because none of my other TVs had tried to murder me.
My cat, Mew, hissed at the lightning as her hackles raised, inching toward the kitchen to my right. I felt a stab of panic for my 5-year-old pet, not wanting the pissed off TV to turn her into a Chinese happy meal, and took a step toward her and away from the couch.
The wind surged again and I felt the walls around me shudder — the lights above my head flickered. Mew flinched at my movement and then sprang up and ran toward her litter box on the other side of the kitchen as the Dragon Ball Z DVD case from the show I had just been enjoying whipped across the carpet and smashed into one of the pictures hanging on my wall, cracking it.
"Oh my god oh my god I'm sorry for whatever the fuck I did just don't let me die oh god!" I started to babble, tumbling over the back of the couch and landing on my back. I rolled over and crawled toward the back wall, near the window. I knew I could take the rusted fire escape and get away from TV Terminator, but I couldn't leave Mew behind.
Suddenly, over the roar of the wind and the sizzle of the pink lightning that was burning the carpet around the TV stand a dirty brown color, I heard a faint banging coming from my door.
"You fucking cunt!" came Mr. Johnson's voice, which seemed more angry than usual. "You're waking everybody up with that weird fucking shit!"
I didn't have time to ponder whether or not Mr. Johnson would evict me for burning the apartment complex down or if I had time to grab Mew and make an escape, because as soon as I took a step toward the kitchen, leaning into a run, the television exploded and sent pellets of sludge-like rain about the room with a force that knocked me halfway through the window behind me, shattering it and forcing shards of glass into my ass.
"Fuuuuuuuuck!" I screamed, as black clouded my vision. My skin crawled and burned and I heard a girl screaming as I began to black out. The sound of my apartment door bursting open and footsteps coming toward me drew my attention, and I realized the girl screaming was me.
Goddamn, I was loud.
I awoke to devastation. It took me a moment to recall what had just taken place and that my TV had just exploded only a few meters from me. I was laying on my stomach on the floor and not smashed against the broken window from when I had blacked out.
My eyes shifted and I noticed the halfway-bald Mr. Johnson sprinting out of the open door, chanting what could only be a string of curses under his breath as he fled in what could only be explained as absolute terror.
I wanted to say I was too fucked up and exhausted from having an appliance send me flying through a window, but I actually felt fine. My brow scrunched and I swallowed the drool that had steadily been seeping out of my mouth and onto the carpet, lifting my head and using the overturned couch as a crutch as I stood up.
I froze.
Something shifted on top of my head and my eyes popped open — wide awake. A second later I was shaking my head like a dog and stomping my feet, my instincts churning to get whatever debris had tangled in my hair out. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw the pink something flopping to and fro with my head.
It felt wrong, and as my hands reached up to assist my head-jerking motions, they came in contact with something alien. Smooth, bendable, and rubbery things were on my head and my hands gripped them tightly.
"W-what the…" I muttered as I yanked on them. "Oww!"
It was as if these things...these thick, pink rubber snakes...were welded onto my head. The complete lack of hair on my head registered a few seconds later, but it was secondary to getting these FUCKING THINGS OFF!
As I gripped my head and fussed frantically about the room, my elbow caught the couch and it...flew? The damn thing smashed through the drywall and into my bedroom, taking the cursed TV and its stand with it as my apartment literally shook and bits of dust fell from the ceiling; in the apartment above, something crashed to the floor.
And that's when I caught sight of my hands.
Well, they weren't my hands. They weren't my hands in the sense that they were hot pink and my fingernails were black as night, like I was some sort of princess-goth. My hands scratched over one another as I automatically tried to clean whatever was on me off.
It was futile. As I scrubbed, it became apparent that the pink skin, which was very elastic, was...skin. My skin.
My knees shook as I made my way toward the bathroom and flipped on the light.
"I…" I gaped at my reflection, mouth open. "N-no way this is…" I trailed off, staring at the sight before me.
The recognition was instantaneous. My skin was pink and the whites of my eyes were a deep black, while my irises were scarlet red. My ears were like fucking donuts and stuck out two or three inches from my head.
Holes dotted up the sides of my arms and a few were visible under the...tentacles that were on my head instead of my curly brown hair.
It was unreal. Two long pink things tapered down to my chin on the sides of my head, like a sick mockery of bangs. I turned my head side to side and saw two more smaller tentacles on each side and a much thicker and longer one that ran from the crown of my head down to the tops of my shoulders.
I knew if I were to pull the collar of my burnt shirt, I'd see more holes lining my collarbone. My alien appearance and the god-like strength made sense now.
Well...not sense, as in "Oh, that's what's going on. I've solved the case."
More like "Oh, I'm super strong and have rubber snakes on my head because my TV turned me into a Majin Buu creature from Dragon Ball Z."
It was uncanny. Just like out of DBZ, except not a cartoon. Seeing me like this...it was monstrous. My blank stare looking back at me from the mirror looked every bit as sinister as Super Buu.
My red and black eyes began to water and my vision blurred and I sniffed, then laughed.
"At least I still have a nose."
It was there, staring at the monster girl in the mirror, that I heard the police sirens and realized that I couldn't stay here. I looked away and moved back into the destroyed living room; it was chilled from the draft coming in the broken window and smelled of burnt rubber. My eyes fell to the hole in the wall that had half the couch sticking out of and I wondered, not for the last time, how I had somehow been transformed into a villainous species from a Japanese Anime.
End Notes: Well then. It's been a while since I published anything. Usually I'm around the Twilight scene, but I recently started watching the DBZ movies again and this idea was stuck in my head. There are a few abandoned stories like this floating around, but they're kind of abandoned and not really full stories like I wanted, so I felt obligated to post this piece of shit.