It was raining, and Sean stepped on a newspaper from this morning. School was over, thank god, the press from the shooting was getting awful. It had been two weeks since.

Ellie talked to him about the shooting like it wasn't THAT big of a deal anymore, and this whole sherade with the media over Sean being a hero should be over. As much as he agreed that he wasn't a hero, he couldn't agree this shooting should just be forgotten.. and it was wierd coming from a girl who, weeks ago, kept asking him to talk about his feelings with her about what happened.

He was starting to get drenched, standing in the rain, looking up at the grey sky and standing alone. He looked to the left side of the stairs of Degrassi, it still had candles and flowers around for the deaths and almost deaths of Degrassi from the pain Rick Murray had caused

Sean dug into his grey hoody's pocket and grabbed his black tuke out, pulling it onto his head. His wet shoes squeeked on the floor as he got inside, and could hear the rain falling against the windows. Rain dropped from his button nose and dark eyebrows. His blue eyes scanned the hallways.

School was over, he knew that. And no, for once he didn't have detention. He just...he saw her come in after everyone had gone.

Why'd she come back in?

The school was a little creepy from being so quiet, and only the noise his shoes made was heard. He tried to wipe the raindrops on his face off with his sleeve and when he opened his eyes again he stopped like a deer in the headlights.

He was looking for her, he knew that.. but he hadn't seen her sitting there before so it scared him that she finally right here, 6 feet away from him. He thought he was ready to talk, but he had to quickly panic about what he was going to say..

She sat on the ground, her blonde hair only damp since she wasn't in the rain as long as him when she was outside. She leaned on a random locker and wore light blue jeans and a white t-shirt... that glow she use to have, faded from her skin and she looked emotionless. Had he ever mentioned he liked her new hair? The bangs made her look so soft..

Sean's body tensed, noticing that she indeed did look numb, and his stomach turned.

This wasn't suppose to happen to her. She isn't suppose to be like this.

She hadn't even heard him coming her way, she stared numbly still at the blank wall across from her.

"Didn't you hear?" he slightly joked, stopping in front of her, "Schools over."

Emma slowly looked up, hearing his voice and blinked a little. The numb feeling down in her gut stayed, but her eyes seemed to take notice it was Sean Cameron speaking to her and she looked around, trying to take that in.

"I heard." was all she said, looking back at where she once was.

He shifted awkwardly, but stayed and shook his head at himself. This was the only girl that could make him shake in his boots, metaphorically of course. He nervously itched the back of his neck and sat down next to her.

As out of it as she was, he still noticed she could still remember at a time like this to slide a bit away from him. He frowned, and just moved close to her again.

She didn't move, but then turned her head when she noticed someone beside her and gave him a wierd and almost outraged look. What the hell did he want?

She clearly wanted to be alone..

"What do you want? Haven't you done enough?" she nearly taunted, bitterly looking back at the blank wall.

His turn to give her a look of confusion, and even more outraged type of look, "Enough?" he almost shouted, "I-" he stopped himself.

He'd been trying to hide this fact for a week now from everybody else, but his heart knew it, his mind..

He saved her. He saved Emma Nelson and it wasn't something he'd hold against her, it was something he wanted to scream on the roof tops actually, because Emma would of never wanted any help from anyone. Especially him

"You were going to be.." he choked up, not being able to say it. Then the fact of Emma dying flashed through his head like it did every night with the nightmares. . why couldn't she be happy he had saved her?

Her anger towards him softened a little, but only to confusion. What the hell did he care if she was shot.. or died.

She picked her knees up a bit, craddling them by her chest, "Go away, Sean." talking to an ex about this wasn't exactly what she wanted right now.

Sean angered, and remembered everything about Emma that use to piss him off like this. When she pretended she didn't need him, when she acted like nobody could help her. He could if she'd just let him for fucking sakes.

"No." he snapped.

Her mouth fell a bit and looked at him to notice his stern look.

"I'm not leavin." he simply said, leaning back against the lockers and getting comfy.

"But you're so good at it." she sneered back at him, and all emotion back in her eyes. He'd be happy to see a bit of feelings coming out of her, but the hatred that sent through her eyes and into him, stung a little.

But, nothing he didn't expect.

Like he said to her before, their break up sucked. He shouldn't of dumped her, he was being selfish because all her attention was on Snake, who had cancer, and not on her whiney boyfriend, he got that now. He grew up, he understood. He had taken her for granted and he hurt her even more by trying to make her jealous with Amy. That backfired when wanna be DJ Chris Sharpe was thrown in the mix. He'd forever hate that guy. .it sucked seeing her with another guy. He never thought about it when they broke up, that'd she be with someone else. It tore at him, specially when she came back this year looking twice as beautiful as she was the last when she was with him.

Do you think he never thought of trying to apologise to Emma? Of fucking course he did, 1000 times, 1000 different ways but the end of the results would be...they were over. She hated him as much as he tried to hate her after the break up. It was hard though, he just couldn't, Emma would always have a piece of him but they were just so different that it couldn't work out, could it? Specially with his friends in the mix now, and her friends who probably hated him now which sucked, cause he was really close to JT and Toby once upon a time but..that was his fault.

Would he ever get back with Emma if he had a chance? A big part of him would say yes, shout it even... but they couldn't, their was too much history now, too much hurt, and she didn't deserve any more pain that he was so great as causing. No, the best Sean could do was stay with Ellie.

Ellie was his next best shot and things were..fine, she was sweet, to him at least. Living together was good, only annoying thing was her freak farret and the fact he may of told her he loved her when he didn't think he did. You'd know if you loved a person, you know? He guessed it was just his big mouth trying to also move on from the empty feeling in his gut.

Ellie was sweet though, least to him, he knew she had that whole punk thing to her. Girls were scared of her like everyone was scared of Sean. Sean actually noticed other than Emma, he dated a lot more..darker girls than Emma. Less prude to be honest, not so golden girl. Yet.. as he looked at Emma right now, she didn't look very innocent or pure today... he wasn't sure if it was just the shooting on her mind, or what, but she looked... a bit broken. It killed him.

"call me whatever names you want to," shrugged Sean, not moving, "I'm not going anywhere."

Emma looked at him icily, "Then let me be the one to go." she got up and his mouth fell a bit, watching her grab her jean jacket and get up.

"Emma!" he shouted, shaking his head and got up to quick. He winced a bit, still feeling the wound in his shoulder.

That's where the bullet had hit him.

He ignored it anyways so he could chase after her and he grabbed her arm and swung her back but she turned her head so she didn't have to look at him.

"Talk to me! Talk to somebody." he sat, rather upset, and his hands almost shook, "You just look so..fucking empty! Where are you?!" he asked desperately and noticed himself shouting and scared himself.

He panted, as she finally looked back at him, showing a little mercy. How did he notice she hadn't talked to anyone?

Silence.

Sean noticed her tense body begin to relax though, and his eyes begged her to talk to him, "Why'd he go after you?" he whispered a little.

He wondered this every night. Why did Rick go after Emma? The only thing he ever remembered with those two was Emma and Paige handing out those orange ribbons to get Rick kicked out of school. Was it because of that? Cause if so, why didn't he go after Paige? Why just Emma, why his Emma, just why? He wanted to understand how someone would wanna hurt her, kill her.

"I don't know Sean." she numbly said, her body beginning to tense up again. He tried to hold her arm tighter to bring her back to him.

"Well you had to of if.."

"I don't know!" she yelled, fire back in her eyes and for only being 15, and Sean 16 with some classic biceps, he jumped back.

"I just meant..." he drifted off, looking down at his shoes. .

Emma coughed from the cry she was trying to keep down, "You're just wondering why I could make someone want to point a gun at my face?" she fought her tears and snickered, "Well you tell me Sean, you've hated me more than anybody else."

He took one more step back from her like she had slapped him, "I didn't hate you." he said quietly, but his eyes staring honestly into hers but she didn't look like she wanted to accept it.

It's like she liked it better to pretend they hated another rather than pretending to be 'friends'.

Emma snickered at him then bittered, "go away." she turned, and Sean noticed her stop at the entrance door, looking for a ride or something.

"No." they shared a glare, and Sean stayed where he stood.

He got lost in thought again, "Was.." he had to know, "Was he mad at you for starting that campaign with Paige?"

"he kissed me okay?!" Emma yelled, twirling back to him and tears now down her cheeks.

Sean's eyes widened. He was so in shock during the time Rick had walked to them with a gun, that he had missed the words fall from Ricks mouth, 'I'm sorry I kissed you Emma,' . .. it was all coming back to Sean, in a painful blur. He must of been so worried about getting Emma out of there, that all the noise was whipped from his head until he tried to talk Rick down from doing anything he'd regret.

'I thought you liked me, but that was something else' Ricks voice was haunting Sean's head as all the black out mess he tried to forget, was now coming back to him.

What..what happened between them? Did Rick hurt Emma? He heard he hurt Terri before.. he remembered when Emma was explaining the point of her campaign weeks before the shooting, that Ellie made a remark to her and he rolled his eyes like he agreed but he didn't, and fuck! He should of stayed, he should of watched her more carefully, he should of protected Emma!

His eyes were watering as well but she had turned and looked back to the rain falling.

"Hate me all you want." Sean said, "I'm not gonna hate you." he swallowed hard. He was going to help Emma weather she liked it or not.

Maybe he needed to go to Snake in order to get through to her.

He heard a sort of a bitter laugh from her that almost sent shivers down his spine, "Oh yeah?" she asked almost like a challenge.

She turned, and there was that numb look in her eyes as she raised one of perfectly shaped eyebrows and their was a honk outside but nothing could break away these two stare at another.

"try it Emma. It won't work." Sean declared, ready for any thing she wanted to swing at him. How bad could it be? He knew he was a jackass, a loser, a failure, her biggest regret.

The next words, hit him so hard he wasn't able to move for minutes, "Im fooling around with Jay Hogart."