A/N: Just a little Prophecy insertion cause I admit it, I like reading Sam/Jonas fics
:). The first Sam/Jonas I've written and maybe the last depending on how reviews
go. If it sucks I'll not burden you further, lol. Any feedback would be much
appreciated, thanks :).
Prophecy's Burden
The first time it had happened, she'd been right there. Watching the wave of pain
sweep through his body before disorientation kicked in and he began to push
himself away from the table. His progress had been slow, but as soon as he'd
managed to stand up, the dizziness hit him and al she could do was watch
helplessly.
* * *
"Jonas?" Colonel O'Neill asked, noticing his teammates disoriented attempts to get
up from the table.
Teal'c and Sam turned to see Jonas slowly getting up with much effort.
"I need some air," he managed to utter before the darkness consumed him. He was
out cold by the time his head hit the ground.
"Jonas?!" Sam asked at the sudden fall of her friend.
Within seconds she was at his side, her hands gently cradling his head as his eyes
stared up at her blankly. It was one of the most terrifying things she'd seen, and
appeared too much like death to stop let her take control of her heart rate and stop
it pounding in her ears. When she couldn't rouse him, she turned to the others for
help.
* * *
"Hey," Sam said, smiling as Jonas entered her infirmary room.
Jonas stopped a few feet away as if getting closer would cause her some sort of
harm. He leaned rather awkwardly on the monitor stand beside him and finally
brought himself to look at her as she greeted him.
"How you feeling?"
"Slightly over-cooked," she replied in an attempt to lighten the mood, but it didn't
bring a similar smile to his features. She felt her heart lurch as his eyes dropped to
the floor, his stance betraying the heavy burden of the guilt he was carrying. "Janet
says I'll be fine."
Jonas nodded heavily as his eyes flitted back to hers briefly. Sam caught the look
in his eye for a moment and reached out to him, patting the spot by her side. He
nodded in understanding as before and went to sit by her, his head hanging heavy.
"Sam, I'm sorry."
"For what?" Sam asked surprised.
"If I'd just kept my mouth shut you'd have gone on the mission. None of this would
have happened."
His voice couldn't hide the crack evident in its edge. She had no idea that while
she'd been unconscious, he'd stood motionless in the corridor outside. Completely
consumed by guilt he'd been terrified to move incase she'd be dead when he
entered the infirmary.
"Jonas..."
"I envisioned it exactly as it happened, but I didn't understand it. I misinterpreted
the vision and I won't make that same mistake again."
The look he gave her was beyond sincere. He was promising her something she
knew he couldn't have kept under control. It wasn't even his fault.
"Don't do this to yourself."
"I've been thinking about this alot," he said and bit his lip thoughtfully before
continuing. Sam knew he meant it. This was a conversation he'd had inside his
head over a hundred times already. She had to hear him out. "Now I have always
been hyper-observant; I see details that other people miss..."
Jonas paused to close his eyes, hand coming up to touch his aching head for a
moment until the pain passed.
"...I see patterns. Maybe predicting the future is an extension of that ability."
Sam closed her eyes, shaking her head quickly to discuss his claims.
As the rest of their conversation covered all the scientifics of why predicting the
future accurately couldn't be done, Sam knew he was taking no comfort in her
rationality. Jonas simply thought she was trying to absolve him of any guilt or
responsibility he may have harboured about her accident.
"The best we can do is calculate probabilities," she continued regardless.
"Okay, so then I'm seeing probable futures?"
"Maybe."
"But every vision I've had has turned out exactly the way I saw it," he said with
determination.
"It doesn't mean they all will, Jonas."
Jonas took some comfort in her words and lowered his head, unwilling to argue the
point for his guilt any longer. His head was pounding too hard for him to
concentrate. He reached up to lay a hand on his forehead again and closed his
eyes.
"How you holding up?"
Jonas turned to look at her briefly and tried to smile, but she knew he'd been in
pain since he'd started having the visions.
"I really am sorry," he said quietly.
"I know you are, but you don't have to be."
The quality of his expression changed. He was ridden by guilt and even though it
told him he deserved it, a part of him longed for its release. Now he looked to her
for relief.
"I just can't stop thinking about it. Your heart stopped out there in the corridor and
I couldn't even move," his voice trailed off as he relived the moment again.
"It wasn't your fault, Jonas. Don't hold onto it like that. Just let it go."
"I can't!"
"Look," she said more firmly and laid her left hand on his arm gently. "I'm fine.
You were only doing what you thought was right and who's to say it wouldn't have
been worse if I'd gone off-world?"
"What about probabilities?"
"Forget probabilities. Concentrate on the future."
"The visions," he began but Sam cut him off.
"The real future, Jonas. Focus on getting through this. You've heard what Janet
said. Please let her help you?"
Jonas closed his eyes and held his breath as his head pounded hard yet again. The
headaches were almost constant now and he was exhausted. His mind kept racing
and no matter how much effort he put in, he couldn't make it stop. It was wearing
him down in the most painful way possible.
"I will, but we should get as much information from this as we can. The visions
could provide vital information of great value, I just have to hold on," he replied,
but the determination with which he'd spoken earlier was now gone.
"You're not a lab rat. Jonas these things are killing you! Why won't you let Janet
stop this?"
"Because."
"Because why?" she fired back, getting tired of seeing him push himself until his life
was on the line.
"Because these could be important," he answered sounding just as withdrawn as
before.
"Jonas, you're important - way more than some stupid visions!" Sam said pouring
as much sincerity into her voice as she could and praying he'd believe her this time.
Jonas stopped to gaze back at her for a long moment, then dropped his attention to
the hand still holding onto him protectively and finally nodded.
"I just don't want anything to happen to you ... any of you. This place, it's like my
home now. You gave me this and I wanna give something back - I wanna be
worthy of SG-1," he said honestly opening up for the first time.
"You've always been worthy of the team. Colonel O'Neill wouldn't have chosen you
if you weren't. And I happen to have it on the best authority that you're incredibly
important to at least one of the team," she confessed and offered him a slight smile
hoping he'd pick up a little now as her hand slid into his and gripped it.
Jonas stared at her again as if unsure of how to take her seeming confession. Was
she really saying what he thought she could be saying? It was all too confusing,
and right now his head was pounding too hard for him to concentrate on anything
else but the fact that she was there ... and so was he. Not alot mattered to him
beyond that for in the last few hours both of them had their lives on the line.
"My mind just keeps racing," he sighed deeply. "I can't make it stop."
Sam looked over the young man perched on the side of her infirmary bed. He was
usually so bright and full of life. Nobody she knew had a smile as warm and honest
as his. But now he was a shadow of the man she knew. The past few hours had
drained him both physically and mentally. Now he slumped where he sat, mind and
body breaking slowly under the strain. It broke her heart.
"How long since you slept?"
"Not since the visions started."
Sam closed her eyes briefly on a sigh that shared his exhaustion. He paused to look
down at their hands momentarily then squeezed slightly to return her gesture.
"C'mere," she said quietly and scooted herself over a little.
It wasn't like the bed was a double that could easily accommodate two adults, but
the infirmary beds were bigger than they once were. If she had to stay there for
the next few hours for observation, she figured she might as well have company.
Besides, Jonas was in need of some kind of support and she knew he could use the
rest.
Jonas didn't question her offer at all. It surprised him as he moved to accept it, that
he could feel so thankful for something as simple. As an adult there had been may
times when he'd been stressed with nowhere to turn for the kind of simple contact
comfort offered to him now. He'd never gone through anything as frightening
before and it felt nice to not have to explain it to someone. Sam just knew without
him needing to ask for her help.
He slid further up on the bed and brought his booted feet up to rest on the bottom.
As he did so, Sam turned onto her side and Jonas mirrored her actions. They lay
opposite each other, bodies making contact at just about every place as their heads
settled on the pillow only a short distance apart. He sighed deeply and opened his
eyes to see Sam's blue eyes staring back at him.
"I almost lost you," he whispered softly.
"Jonas," she sighed and reached out to lay her hand on his arm. "You're not alone
here."
Jonas' eyes closed on another sharply inhaled breath and he felt them begin to
burn. Sam watched as the last walls holding his controlled facaude in place began
to crumble and fall. The dim light from the corridor outside caught the tears that
welled up under his dark eyelashes and glimmered as they trickled down toward the
pillow.
"I've never been so scared," he said and the crack in his voice caused her heart to
break a little more.
Jonas knew she thought it was only the visions that were behind it, but in truth he'd
been more scared by the prospect of losing Sam than anything else. Sure it
terrified him that he couldn't control this thing that was killing him - that had
almost led him to killing her - but they came a close second to the reality of losing
her. Especially now.
"I know," she sighed and leaned her forehead against his, being careful not to hurt
him any more in the process.
As she reached out and wrapped her free right arm around him, she felt him do the
same with his left. His body shook a little more with release than it had with the
pain the visions had brought. He fought to regain a sense of control that was no
longer his. She felt his hand fist in the back of the scrubs top Janet had given her
so she didn't have to wear another gown. He was holding her as close as he could.
It was as if he was irrationally afraid that she'd be snatched away from him at any
moment ... or that he would.
"This is gonna be okay."
Jonas opened his eyes, leaning back a little until the blurred vision before him
began to come into focus. He felt the warmth of her touch brush over his face,
drying tears. Suddenly he felt silly, losing control in front of her, but then he
remembered why and he didn't care. What was happening to him now was
extreme, but he didn't have to be alone. He understood that.
"Promise?" he mumbled.
"Promise," she answered and brought her hand back to rest in his.
Sam stretched her left arm out from under her and out along the top of the pillow
just above his head. From that point, she could easily rest her hand against the
back of his head and as she began to run her fingers through his short hair
soothingly, she brought their joined hands up to rest between them at chest height.
Sam could feel the steady beating of his heart against the back of her hand and was
sure Jonas could feel hers too. It was a comforting sensation to share at that
moment and one they both needed to feel on some level.
"Just go to sleep, Jonas," she breathed and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his
forehead before resting her own against it.
Jonas drew breath long and deep as he finally felt himself begin to relax. His head
still ached and he was still afraid, of both the reality of Sam being hurt by his vision
and the fact that they would ultimately kill him. He'd already made his decision to
let Dr Fraiser go ahead with the surgery when he'd finished with Sam... but that
could wait. Here she was, alive, and he felt safe in her arms. It was a feeling that
Jonas clung to as he slowly began to drift off into a peaceful sleep.
:). The first Sam/Jonas I've written and maybe the last depending on how reviews
go. If it sucks I'll not burden you further, lol. Any feedback would be much
appreciated, thanks :).
Prophecy's Burden
The first time it had happened, she'd been right there. Watching the wave of pain
sweep through his body before disorientation kicked in and he began to push
himself away from the table. His progress had been slow, but as soon as he'd
managed to stand up, the dizziness hit him and al she could do was watch
helplessly.
* * *
"Jonas?" Colonel O'Neill asked, noticing his teammates disoriented attempts to get
up from the table.
Teal'c and Sam turned to see Jonas slowly getting up with much effort.
"I need some air," he managed to utter before the darkness consumed him. He was
out cold by the time his head hit the ground.
"Jonas?!" Sam asked at the sudden fall of her friend.
Within seconds she was at his side, her hands gently cradling his head as his eyes
stared up at her blankly. It was one of the most terrifying things she'd seen, and
appeared too much like death to stop let her take control of her heart rate and stop
it pounding in her ears. When she couldn't rouse him, she turned to the others for
help.
* * *
"Hey," Sam said, smiling as Jonas entered her infirmary room.
Jonas stopped a few feet away as if getting closer would cause her some sort of
harm. He leaned rather awkwardly on the monitor stand beside him and finally
brought himself to look at her as she greeted him.
"How you feeling?"
"Slightly over-cooked," she replied in an attempt to lighten the mood, but it didn't
bring a similar smile to his features. She felt her heart lurch as his eyes dropped to
the floor, his stance betraying the heavy burden of the guilt he was carrying. "Janet
says I'll be fine."
Jonas nodded heavily as his eyes flitted back to hers briefly. Sam caught the look
in his eye for a moment and reached out to him, patting the spot by her side. He
nodded in understanding as before and went to sit by her, his head hanging heavy.
"Sam, I'm sorry."
"For what?" Sam asked surprised.
"If I'd just kept my mouth shut you'd have gone on the mission. None of this would
have happened."
His voice couldn't hide the crack evident in its edge. She had no idea that while
she'd been unconscious, he'd stood motionless in the corridor outside. Completely
consumed by guilt he'd been terrified to move incase she'd be dead when he
entered the infirmary.
"Jonas..."
"I envisioned it exactly as it happened, but I didn't understand it. I misinterpreted
the vision and I won't make that same mistake again."
The look he gave her was beyond sincere. He was promising her something she
knew he couldn't have kept under control. It wasn't even his fault.
"Don't do this to yourself."
"I've been thinking about this alot," he said and bit his lip thoughtfully before
continuing. Sam knew he meant it. This was a conversation he'd had inside his
head over a hundred times already. She had to hear him out. "Now I have always
been hyper-observant; I see details that other people miss..."
Jonas paused to close his eyes, hand coming up to touch his aching head for a
moment until the pain passed.
"...I see patterns. Maybe predicting the future is an extension of that ability."
Sam closed her eyes, shaking her head quickly to discuss his claims.
As the rest of their conversation covered all the scientifics of why predicting the
future accurately couldn't be done, Sam knew he was taking no comfort in her
rationality. Jonas simply thought she was trying to absolve him of any guilt or
responsibility he may have harboured about her accident.
"The best we can do is calculate probabilities," she continued regardless.
"Okay, so then I'm seeing probable futures?"
"Maybe."
"But every vision I've had has turned out exactly the way I saw it," he said with
determination.
"It doesn't mean they all will, Jonas."
Jonas took some comfort in her words and lowered his head, unwilling to argue the
point for his guilt any longer. His head was pounding too hard for him to
concentrate. He reached up to lay a hand on his forehead again and closed his
eyes.
"How you holding up?"
Jonas turned to look at her briefly and tried to smile, but she knew he'd been in
pain since he'd started having the visions.
"I really am sorry," he said quietly.
"I know you are, but you don't have to be."
The quality of his expression changed. He was ridden by guilt and even though it
told him he deserved it, a part of him longed for its release. Now he looked to her
for relief.
"I just can't stop thinking about it. Your heart stopped out there in the corridor and
I couldn't even move," his voice trailed off as he relived the moment again.
"It wasn't your fault, Jonas. Don't hold onto it like that. Just let it go."
"I can't!"
"Look," she said more firmly and laid her left hand on his arm gently. "I'm fine.
You were only doing what you thought was right and who's to say it wouldn't have
been worse if I'd gone off-world?"
"What about probabilities?"
"Forget probabilities. Concentrate on the future."
"The visions," he began but Sam cut him off.
"The real future, Jonas. Focus on getting through this. You've heard what Janet
said. Please let her help you?"
Jonas closed his eyes and held his breath as his head pounded hard yet again. The
headaches were almost constant now and he was exhausted. His mind kept racing
and no matter how much effort he put in, he couldn't make it stop. It was wearing
him down in the most painful way possible.
"I will, but we should get as much information from this as we can. The visions
could provide vital information of great value, I just have to hold on," he replied,
but the determination with which he'd spoken earlier was now gone.
"You're not a lab rat. Jonas these things are killing you! Why won't you let Janet
stop this?"
"Because."
"Because why?" she fired back, getting tired of seeing him push himself until his life
was on the line.
"Because these could be important," he answered sounding just as withdrawn as
before.
"Jonas, you're important - way more than some stupid visions!" Sam said pouring
as much sincerity into her voice as she could and praying he'd believe her this time.
Jonas stopped to gaze back at her for a long moment, then dropped his attention to
the hand still holding onto him protectively and finally nodded.
"I just don't want anything to happen to you ... any of you. This place, it's like my
home now. You gave me this and I wanna give something back - I wanna be
worthy of SG-1," he said honestly opening up for the first time.
"You've always been worthy of the team. Colonel O'Neill wouldn't have chosen you
if you weren't. And I happen to have it on the best authority that you're incredibly
important to at least one of the team," she confessed and offered him a slight smile
hoping he'd pick up a little now as her hand slid into his and gripped it.
Jonas stared at her again as if unsure of how to take her seeming confession. Was
she really saying what he thought she could be saying? It was all too confusing,
and right now his head was pounding too hard for him to concentrate on anything
else but the fact that she was there ... and so was he. Not alot mattered to him
beyond that for in the last few hours both of them had their lives on the line.
"My mind just keeps racing," he sighed deeply. "I can't make it stop."
Sam looked over the young man perched on the side of her infirmary bed. He was
usually so bright and full of life. Nobody she knew had a smile as warm and honest
as his. But now he was a shadow of the man she knew. The past few hours had
drained him both physically and mentally. Now he slumped where he sat, mind and
body breaking slowly under the strain. It broke her heart.
"How long since you slept?"
"Not since the visions started."
Sam closed her eyes briefly on a sigh that shared his exhaustion. He paused to look
down at their hands momentarily then squeezed slightly to return her gesture.
"C'mere," she said quietly and scooted herself over a little.
It wasn't like the bed was a double that could easily accommodate two adults, but
the infirmary beds were bigger than they once were. If she had to stay there for
the next few hours for observation, she figured she might as well have company.
Besides, Jonas was in need of some kind of support and she knew he could use the
rest.
Jonas didn't question her offer at all. It surprised him as he moved to accept it, that
he could feel so thankful for something as simple. As an adult there had been may
times when he'd been stressed with nowhere to turn for the kind of simple contact
comfort offered to him now. He'd never gone through anything as frightening
before and it felt nice to not have to explain it to someone. Sam just knew without
him needing to ask for her help.
He slid further up on the bed and brought his booted feet up to rest on the bottom.
As he did so, Sam turned onto her side and Jonas mirrored her actions. They lay
opposite each other, bodies making contact at just about every place as their heads
settled on the pillow only a short distance apart. He sighed deeply and opened his
eyes to see Sam's blue eyes staring back at him.
"I almost lost you," he whispered softly.
"Jonas," she sighed and reached out to lay her hand on his arm. "You're not alone
here."
Jonas' eyes closed on another sharply inhaled breath and he felt them begin to
burn. Sam watched as the last walls holding his controlled facaude in place began
to crumble and fall. The dim light from the corridor outside caught the tears that
welled up under his dark eyelashes and glimmered as they trickled down toward the
pillow.
"I've never been so scared," he said and the crack in his voice caused her heart to
break a little more.
Jonas knew she thought it was only the visions that were behind it, but in truth he'd
been more scared by the prospect of losing Sam than anything else. Sure it
terrified him that he couldn't control this thing that was killing him - that had
almost led him to killing her - but they came a close second to the reality of losing
her. Especially now.
"I know," she sighed and leaned her forehead against his, being careful not to hurt
him any more in the process.
As she reached out and wrapped her free right arm around him, she felt him do the
same with his left. His body shook a little more with release than it had with the
pain the visions had brought. He fought to regain a sense of control that was no
longer his. She felt his hand fist in the back of the scrubs top Janet had given her
so she didn't have to wear another gown. He was holding her as close as he could.
It was as if he was irrationally afraid that she'd be snatched away from him at any
moment ... or that he would.
"This is gonna be okay."
Jonas opened his eyes, leaning back a little until the blurred vision before him
began to come into focus. He felt the warmth of her touch brush over his face,
drying tears. Suddenly he felt silly, losing control in front of her, but then he
remembered why and he didn't care. What was happening to him now was
extreme, but he didn't have to be alone. He understood that.
"Promise?" he mumbled.
"Promise," she answered and brought her hand back to rest in his.
Sam stretched her left arm out from under her and out along the top of the pillow
just above his head. From that point, she could easily rest her hand against the
back of his head and as she began to run her fingers through his short hair
soothingly, she brought their joined hands up to rest between them at chest height.
Sam could feel the steady beating of his heart against the back of her hand and was
sure Jonas could feel hers too. It was a comforting sensation to share at that
moment and one they both needed to feel on some level.
"Just go to sleep, Jonas," she breathed and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his
forehead before resting her own against it.
Jonas drew breath long and deep as he finally felt himself begin to relax. His head
still ached and he was still afraid, of both the reality of Sam being hurt by his vision
and the fact that they would ultimately kill him. He'd already made his decision to
let Dr Fraiser go ahead with the surgery when he'd finished with Sam... but that
could wait. Here she was, alive, and he felt safe in her arms. It was a feeling that
Jonas clung to as he slowly began to drift off into a peaceful sleep.