LIFE GOES ON

AN: This is not a sequel to 'After The Fire,' thought it probably will sound like one, in tone. I am just really, really irritated with Peter and Elizabeth Burke after episode 5X10 Live Feed. And since I cannot personally yell at El or smack Peter upside the head, I will write about my irritation and wanting to yell at El and smack Peter upside the head.

SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen the ep yet please, please don't read this. I am only going to address one small part of an action-packed, information-filled episode. But, for the sake of this story, I am kind of pretending those things didn't happen so I could concentrate on this one thing.

At least no one else had heard it. Mozzie couldn't hear what was going on. He didn't have an earwig and Hagen didn't even know Neal had it in. Neal paused, he raised his head he couldn't help himself. But he had heard Peter right. He had told Jones, in essence, not to take Neal on as his C.I., Jones would regret it.

It hurt. No, that wasn't accurate, it burned. It burned a hole in Neal's heart. It caused a deep aching, merciless pain. But Neal couldn't dwell on that right now. He had to finish things up with Hagen. He had to take care of things, because Hagen had upped the stakes and the game had suddenly turned deadly.

Neal shook it off as he got back to the task at hand. He had to save Rebecca, once that was done, he could consider his own situation. But he kept going back to Peter's, words, even though the memories cut him. Neal had also heard Peter was going to D.C. But, at least, Neal would keep his freedom. Even though, as Peter said, Neal would be 'dumped' on the next guy 'lucky' enough to hold the position.

WC WC WC WC WC

Tears came to his eyes and the faster and more briskly he brushed them away the faster they came. He finally gave up, and just let them fall. He stood staring out at the brisk winter night from behind the French doors of his apartment. He was so lost in thought he didn't even realize that he had a visitor. He finally heard someone behind him. But Neal didn't have to turn, he knew the footsteps.

"Time for inspection?" Neal asked.

"What?" Peter asked.

"You haven't been here for a while." Neal paused. "Shouldn't my new handler be taking care of that type stuff? Oh, right, I don't have one. Still, I expected you to send Jones."

Peter started to speak, and Neal continued to look out the window.

"You're my responsibility."

"Oh…yeah, right." Neal said, without enthusiasm. He was still staring out at the night.

Peter tried not to let himself get irritated, but he soon gave up. Neal wouldn't look at him. And he was not sure how to take the handler remark.

"David was hand-picked by me. He was…."

Neal turned and looked at Peter. "He was a good guy. And I was really starting to like him. But this is not about David. I had nothing to do with that, Peter. Believe what you want, but it's true."

Peter stood and stared for a moment. He hadn't expected to see tears in the convict's eyes. He couldn't let this get to him. He wouldn't. "What are you up to, Caffrey?"

Neal just stared at Peter again as he felt another stab to his heart.

"I have some things to take care of. I just…I didn't realize it until just now. But I have made the right decision." Neal stated.

"What…what are you talking about, Neal?"

"You said things needed to change, Agent Burke. They most definitely are." Neal proclaimed.

"I don't…." Peter shook his head.

"I have about two years, three months left on my sentence." Neal stated. "With good behavior I'll be out in about a year and a half…18 months." He mused. "It doesn't sound nearly as long when you say 18 months."

"What are you...what are you saying?" Peter was speechless, dumbfounded for just a second. "You'd rather be in jail? In prison?"

"You'll be in D.C. What do you care?" Neal asked. "You don't want to partner with me. You've told other's it would not be in their best interest to partner with me." Neal thought back to the conversation he was not supposed to hear between Peter and Jones. "In 18 months I'll be free."

"What are you…?" Peter started.

"Do what you need to, Agent Burke. I have some things to take care of." Neal said as started to his apartment door.

"Just…just wait a minute." Peter pleaded.

"Your wife asked me for help. She asked me to help you. And I tried to find James before I did what I did. But I couldn't find him. I had to do something. I just…. I couldn't stand to see El so…upset. She was having a really hard time without you. She cried a lot. She just…she knew I couldn't so no. She knew I wouldn't say no." Neal challenged him. "But that was okay? It was okay for her to ask me to break the law when she knew how I felt about her, about you. That was okay?" Neal paused. "You get out of jail and you just immediately climb up on your high horse and start preaching about justice and truth." Neal paused again. "But we both know everything is not 'out in the open,' Agent Burke. Because that would mean that some people would have to give up their nice new jobs and their nice bonus, and new cars. All while other's get to find out who it is they can depend on in this life. They get to find out that some people are fine with them being a criminal and acting illegally as long as none of it rubs off on them. As long as they don't have to touch it or get too close to it. The only thing they want to do is benefit from it, after all."

"That's not…!" Peter shook his head.

"Your wife used me, and you didn't say anything about it. Not until after you had your nice new car and your brand new promotion." Neal replied.

Peter couldn't even speak. He just shook his head.

Neal headed out the door. He then turned around in the doorway. "I hope you and your wife enjoy D.C., Agent Burke." He said before heading down stairs to find June.

TBC

FYI: I have no idea how long Neal has left. Two years just sounded good. If anyone does know, please enlighten me. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed.