Tears of Ice
By: Night Star
I walk along this street, stepping easily through the snow. I wish these long legs could take me as effortlessly to you. This cold reflects how I've felt since I left you. I returned to the apartment, and the guys told me that you had gone, disappearing into this winter night. I've been worried, ice forming in my eyes. I will not allow myself to cry.
I never meant to hurt you. I saw you attacked in the mountains when I discovered you, a small vulnerable girl without anyone to watch over you. I swore that I would take that place, ensure that nothing happened to you. Apparently, I was too close, too confining. I meant to protect you; I guess I held you prisoner. We argued, and I left, enraged, because I was afraid that I would strike you. I want to ensure that you are never hurt. If I hit you, you would not rise again readily.
It is freezing out here. I hope you are safe; that you have somewhere to go, someone to take care of you. I shove my hands deeper into my pockets to warm them. This action does nothing for the ice in my soul.
Ahead of me are a busy street, and a lone girl walking. Her hair is longer than yours is, but over all, she reminds me of you. Her hair is very dark, as is yours, and she moves so gracefully. She seems so petite, so unguarded. She turns while crossing. She even appears to have your face.
As she jumps for the curb, her boot catches in the drift and she falls heavily. She does not rise. I begin to run, to make sure that she is all right. The busy street holds me up with the heavy traffic. The flakes are small, but they're falling more thickly and faster. The frost will cover her before I can cross.
I wait for the cars to pass. It's so cold out here, cold enough that she could die of frostbite before I can get to her. Are you like her, dying alone in a blanket of snow with no one to help you? I can't bear the thought.
The light changes. I run across as quickly as I can. She is almost covered over. Quickly, I brush the snow from her back and turn her over. I gaze in shock down at you. Frantically, I search for some sign that you're still alive. I pick you up, holding you to my chest, trying to warm you. You stir, rolling against me. I can see the ankle now, hanging at an odd angle, definitely broken. I set off again, my pace much faster than before. Can I get you home in time, or will you freeze to death before then?
I carry you up the stairs. The damned door is closed. I kick it open. You haven't moved in three blocks. Am I too late?
The guys stand around gawking. I yell for them to get out your futon. I am strongly reminded of the first time I brought you here. In response to my yell, the future quack walks in. I know he's being as gentle as he can as he sets your ankle, but I still have to clutch the futon to keep from striking him when you softly wimper in pain as if with your final strength. He leaves. I look down at you. You are as aple and still as though you were dead. Desperately, I pull you into my arms again, once more trying to warm you against me. I can see you fading away, a cold mist surrounding you, taking you from me. I find myself crying out,
"Mai! Mai! I won't let you go! Don't leave me!"
You are sliding deeper into the foggy fiend of death. There is so much that I never shared with you. I wanted o give you the chance to live. I remember you in all your glory. I never told you how much you mean to me. I never got the chance to apologize for leaving you.
"Don't die! I can't stand this if you go before I beg your pardon!"
I realize that icy tears of regret are streaming down my cheeks. I see you weakly lick yor parched, cracked lips. My heart leaps. You're not dead yet! Your lips part and you whisper,
"Why? Why does it matter?"
My world crumbles around my ears as I recognize that I have fallen in love with you, so much younger than I. I wouldn't continue to live if you rejected me. Have you never seen how I feel? So young. can I tell you this? Will it ruin our partnership? My traitorous voice is speaking, hoarsely,
"Because I love you, Mai."
Your eyelashes flutter open. I hold you tighter, chasing away your death with the force of my will. Now that I've told you, I won't lose you. Your beautiful eyes look up at me, filling me with a warmth as I read your feelings. Hesitantly, not sure how you will react, I allow my lips to brush over yours. I can sense your eyes closing, and I kiss you more firmly. After a few heartbeats, I pull away to guage your reaction.
Slowly, your hand comes up to brush my hair out of my face and you murmur,
"My Intetsu."
Spring has come early this year. I cradle you to my chest, glorying in the lfe of my love.
By: Night Star
I walk along this street, stepping easily through the snow. I wish these long legs could take me as effortlessly to you. This cold reflects how I've felt since I left you. I returned to the apartment, and the guys told me that you had gone, disappearing into this winter night. I've been worried, ice forming in my eyes. I will not allow myself to cry.
I never meant to hurt you. I saw you attacked in the mountains when I discovered you, a small vulnerable girl without anyone to watch over you. I swore that I would take that place, ensure that nothing happened to you. Apparently, I was too close, too confining. I meant to protect you; I guess I held you prisoner. We argued, and I left, enraged, because I was afraid that I would strike you. I want to ensure that you are never hurt. If I hit you, you would not rise again readily.
It is freezing out here. I hope you are safe; that you have somewhere to go, someone to take care of you. I shove my hands deeper into my pockets to warm them. This action does nothing for the ice in my soul.
Ahead of me are a busy street, and a lone girl walking. Her hair is longer than yours is, but over all, she reminds me of you. Her hair is very dark, as is yours, and she moves so gracefully. She seems so petite, so unguarded. She turns while crossing. She even appears to have your face.
As she jumps for the curb, her boot catches in the drift and she falls heavily. She does not rise. I begin to run, to make sure that she is all right. The busy street holds me up with the heavy traffic. The flakes are small, but they're falling more thickly and faster. The frost will cover her before I can cross.
I wait for the cars to pass. It's so cold out here, cold enough that she could die of frostbite before I can get to her. Are you like her, dying alone in a blanket of snow with no one to help you? I can't bear the thought.
The light changes. I run across as quickly as I can. She is almost covered over. Quickly, I brush the snow from her back and turn her over. I gaze in shock down at you. Frantically, I search for some sign that you're still alive. I pick you up, holding you to my chest, trying to warm you. You stir, rolling against me. I can see the ankle now, hanging at an odd angle, definitely broken. I set off again, my pace much faster than before. Can I get you home in time, or will you freeze to death before then?
I carry you up the stairs. The damned door is closed. I kick it open. You haven't moved in three blocks. Am I too late?
The guys stand around gawking. I yell for them to get out your futon. I am strongly reminded of the first time I brought you here. In response to my yell, the future quack walks in. I know he's being as gentle as he can as he sets your ankle, but I still have to clutch the futon to keep from striking him when you softly wimper in pain as if with your final strength. He leaves. I look down at you. You are as aple and still as though you were dead. Desperately, I pull you into my arms again, once more trying to warm you against me. I can see you fading away, a cold mist surrounding you, taking you from me. I find myself crying out,
"Mai! Mai! I won't let you go! Don't leave me!"
You are sliding deeper into the foggy fiend of death. There is so much that I never shared with you. I wanted o give you the chance to live. I remember you in all your glory. I never told you how much you mean to me. I never got the chance to apologize for leaving you.
"Don't die! I can't stand this if you go before I beg your pardon!"
I realize that icy tears of regret are streaming down my cheeks. I see you weakly lick yor parched, cracked lips. My heart leaps. You're not dead yet! Your lips part and you whisper,
"Why? Why does it matter?"
My world crumbles around my ears as I recognize that I have fallen in love with you, so much younger than I. I wouldn't continue to live if you rejected me. Have you never seen how I feel? So young. can I tell you this? Will it ruin our partnership? My traitorous voice is speaking, hoarsely,
"Because I love you, Mai."
Your eyelashes flutter open. I hold you tighter, chasing away your death with the force of my will. Now that I've told you, I won't lose you. Your beautiful eyes look up at me, filling me with a warmth as I read your feelings. Hesitantly, not sure how you will react, I allow my lips to brush over yours. I can sense your eyes closing, and I kiss you more firmly. After a few heartbeats, I pull away to guage your reaction.
Slowly, your hand comes up to brush my hair out of my face and you murmur,
"My Intetsu."
Spring has come early this year. I cradle you to my chest, glorying in the lfe of my love.