Life's a bitch.

That's what I've learnt over the past three years underground. If you thought I meant underground literally, I'd be on the verge of calling you an idiot but you were nice enough to give this a chance and read it so I'll violently restrain myself. I meant underground figuratively.

I don't even know why I'm still alive; fighting to stay alive, when I could just end it all anytime I wanted to. I've had plenty of chances, but I never took them, and I just can't figure out why.

"Oi, you brats better hurry up or I'll leave you here to rot." I called over my shoulder. The footsteps of the new brats we got yesterday quickened their pace behind me. This was their first job. I could never understand why my underboss, Erwin (that shitty bastard), always handed these damn rookies to me. My jobs were annoying enough; having to deal with these brats burns my tolerance and patience to a crisp. Most of my jobs usually get compromised because that shit ass of an underboss I have always insists I bring the rookies along with me. And yes, I always end up having to risk my skin just to save their butts because the brats were too damn weak to handle themselves.

But I always could've just left them there to die. Why I always saved them, I'll never know – just one more thing about myself that I'll never understand.

Suddenly, I heard a high-pitched squeak-yelp behind me. "It's just a goddamn rat," a voice said. "You're such a pussy." I paused, turning my head slightly to the side, and asked lazily, "What happened? You better not have screwed anything up, you shitty brats." "N-nothing." A blond-haired boy – the perpetrator, most likely – said. "I just accidentally stepped on a dead rat." He blushed furiously and turned away. "Heh," I replied, an eyebrow raised. "That high-pitched yelp was from you? Could've mistaken it for a girl's." I finished as I turned away and continued walking. The other brats sniggered as they trailed after me, bringing an even darker flush to the boy's face.

I still remember the first time I traversed these stinking underground tunnels. I was on the run at the time. I was a wanted man – a highly wanted man – and many would stop at nothing to get my head and the bounty that came with it. I was lucky to have been taught at a young age how to shoot, fight and handle myself. I was quick with my fists, and that had saved me many times now. Many families had sent their goons in the hopes of getting my head. Those idiots that had been dumb enough to stand within three feet from me had a nice, good taste of my knuckles.

Shaking the memory off, I was about to call for the brats behind me to pick up the pace when I caught movement from the corner of my eye. I froze and immediately pulled to a slight crouch, bending my knees and getting ready for any sudden assault, my fists up. I quickly signaled for the oblivious brats behind me to halt their steps. They cocked their heads to the side in confusion but before I could say anything, a throwing knife sailed my way. I ducked instantly, and the knife stabbed shallowly into the wall where my head had just been. The brats' eyes widened in shock, some of their mouths opening and closing like fish gasping for air. Damn, they sucked. How could they have not known that someone was there at all? How did brats this shitty enter our family anyway? Geez, Erwin must be getting soft.

"Didn't think you bastards were so chicken as to hide and attack. That was low, dudes, could've pierced my brain." I paused. "Oh, so you're afraid of me?" I taunted. "Didn't know the Denaros had no balls." I looked away lazily. I heard a few low, angry growls around me as a few men appeared from corners where the shoddy lighting of the tunnel couldn't reach. They began brandishing their knives as they approached me slowly, like wolves creeping onto a poor little lamb. Well, at least they thought I was a poor little lamb.

"Gather round me," I whispered to the rookies. "And get ready to engage these bastards." They swallowed, nervous, but did as I said, taking their knives in their hands and settling into a stance. "Oh, so looking for a fight, aren't we?" I called out. I grinned, whipping out my switchblade. "Looks like you do have balls, huh."

One of the men yelled in fury and pounced on me. He was huge but his aim was sloppy and so were his fighting skills. I stabbed him in the neck easily and he fell to the ground on his knees, blood spurting out of his neck, staining my shirt and pants an angry red. "Tch. Filthy." I remarked as I examined the dark stain. I had gotten used to being covered in blood for a long time now, I wouldn't freak out or scream or whatever shit stupid rookies did when blood got on their clothes, but getting used to something and being okay with it were two different things. The stench and patches that blood left behind were just dreadful. I hated it. No, 'hate' was an understatement.

The brats – the idiots they were – stared in shock. You'd think they'd never seen a man get killed. Maybe they haven't. But hey, they were in the mafia for fuck's sake. What were they thinking when they joined? That everything would be clean and easy? That everything would just be rainbows and ponies? Goddamn it, what a bunch of wimps. "What are you shitty brats looking at? They're coming at us and you'll need to kill those shits to get the job done so get your act together and just fucking grow up."

That seemed to get to their heads and they snapped out of it, looking less shocked and more alert. Some of the lower-ranked underlings launched themselves at them and keeping one eye on the rookies and the other trained on the attackers coming my way, I kept a lookout for them while I finished off my assailants. They lay in a heap on the ground, just like a pile of garbage, I thought.

One of the brats struggled against his opponent and seemed to be on the losing end of the fight. I darted forward and kicked his opponent hard in the stomach, sending him flying and banging into the opposite wall, knocking him out cold. "Hey!" The rookie behind me shouted. "I didn't need your help! I could've finished him off on my own!" The rookie who I had just helped, just helped, I repeat, yelled at me. I spun around and glared at the offending brat. "You could at least be a tad bit grateful to me for saving your pathetic ass, you shitty brat. If it weren't for me, you'd be the one in that bastard's place right now. So shut the hell up and thank me." I remarked with a hint of irritation in my voice. This kid really had a stick shoved up his ass. What a little bitch.

Just then, a gruff voice rose from behind me, "You've let your guard down Levi!" I spun around instantaneously, and just as a huge fist came down toward me, I moved out of the way and rammed my fist up to his jaw in an uppercut. Without giving him any time to react, I shoved my switchblade into his neck and pulled it out swiftly, letting the man fall to the ground. My clothes became covered in some more stinking blood. I looked at the man in disgust. "I've let my guard down? I don't think so."

As I turned to look at the rookies, I found them staring at me in shock, amazement, fear, and one of them, in hatred. Needless to say, it was that fucking brat who couldn't be grateful someone had saved his pathetic life.

"Okay, Denaro family goons eliminated, job accomplished. I'm surprised none of you died. You all were pretty pathetic, to be honest. But who cares? I sure don't. If you're alive, so be it. Erwin's the one who's going to have to feed your sorry mouth anyway." I said as I tucked my switchblade back under my belt.

Some of the rookies flinched as though I'd just given them the worst insult to ever exist on Earth. They were either disgustingly innocent, or had annoyingly huge egos. Not that I had any right to say that about them, considering the size of my own ego.

"Come on, you shitty brats. Time to go back. We're done here." I linked my fingers and stretched them behind my head, walking back in the opposite direction.

"Stop calling us that!" An infuriated shout came from behind me. "We aren't shitty brats you fucking bastard!"

I halted my step. "What did you call me?" I said coldly as I turned around to face that impertinent brat, my face settling into a cool, closed mask. "Huh?" I grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him into the air. His bright, angry aquamarine eyes glared at me. His hands clambered at my wrists as he futilely tried to get me to release my grip. Before he knew it, I swung my fist and landed a hard, solid punch on his face. His eyes widened as he gasped in shock.

"Call me that one more time," I threatened in a low voice by his ear, "and you'll never see the light of day again." I released my hold on the boy and he sank to the ground, his eyes still wide in shock and fear. The other brats around me backed away, frightened by my display, except for one of the girls who bore Asian features. She snarled at me in fury. "How dare you–" she began. But the brat I just did a number on held her back, and the girl seemed to back down. "Tch." I ignored them as I continued on my way. When I heard no sounds of footsteps following behind me, I looked over my shoulder only to find none of the brats moving, all rooted to the spot. This was pretty annoying, really, and I was starting to get tired of their shit.

"Oi, if you brats don't follow me and get lost in the tunnels, I'm not going to be held responsible for you. If you go missing, that's your own problem. Do remember that your life means less than shit to me." I said to them lazily. I looked down at my clothes and my eyes narrowed. I clucked my tongue in distaste. "Filthy." I had to get some laundry done once I got back, and some serious chewing out to do. Erwin would never hear the end of it. This was the last time I was going to bring idiot rookie brats along with me.

But then again that was what I always said at the end of a job.

~ψ~

"Welcome back, capo." A soldier greeted with a slight bow as he opened the gates to the headquarters. I nodded in acknowledgement and strolled in lazily, manner at ease.

"You brats can leave now. Get your shitty asses out of my face." I called out to the rookies behind me.

"Yes, capo." The rookies behind me acknowledged. I heard a growl behind me yet again.

"Hey! I thought I told you to stop calling us that! We're not brats, you fucking bastard!" I sighed in frustration, eyes twitching, not that little shit again…

I took a deep breath in an attempt to compose myself. "And I thought I told you," I said in a cold voice, "that if you ever called me that one more fucking time," I turned my head sideways and pinned him with a death glare over my shoulder. "you would never see the light of day again."

Before anyone even noticed any movement, I had my feet shoved into the brat's face and had him pushed to the ground. I executed another harsh kick to the kid's stomach, making him gasp and sputter in shock and pain. I grabbed him by the collar with a hand and punched him with the other. Saliva flew out of his mouth as I continued raining my fists mercilessly on the brat's face while occasionally issuing a few blows to his abdomen. When I was done with him, the kid was a mess, face and body covered with blood and bruises.

"Eren!" I heard a strangled cry. The same Asian girl from just now rushed forward to the brat and held him gingerly. She glared up at me, shooting daggers at me with her eyes. "It's you again! I don't care who you are! You have no right to–"

"Mikasa, don't bother." The brat – Eren – interrupted the girl's ranting. "Just leave it. I can handle myself. You don't have to baby me all the time." Eren said weakly as he pushed himself up on his elbows. He coughed, and blood splattered onto the ground. The other rookies flinched at the sight. I had unconsciously made an example out of the brat at the same time. Huh, hitting two birds with one stone. Turns out this beating was more useful than I thought.

Satisfied with my handiwork, I turned toward the building that was our headquarters and continued on my way as though nothing had happened, because honestly, to me, nothing really did happen. That was called teaching your soldiers a lesson on respect, and if anyone wanted to argue with me, they could talk to my fists. Learning to show respect for someone of higher ranking was something I learnt the hard way. I frowned at the specks of blood I found on my hands. "Tch. Filthy."

~ψ~

"Come in."

"Erwin." I said in salutation.

"Yo." He greeted casually. "That was done pretty quickly. As expected of you Levi."

"Of course. I'm the best there is."

Erwin chuckled. "Well, good to see your planet-sized ego is still largely intact. I assume there were no hitches with the job?"

"Obviously not. It's me we're talking about here." I huffed. "Anyway, why the hell do I get sent on these dirty jobs anyway? I'm a capo for Christ's sake, not some no-name soldier."

"Because I feel like it. It's pretty amusing to see you flare up when I tell you about your new errand. Plus, it's even better when I tell you that you have to bring rookies along. The look on your face is golden."

"What the hell?" My eyes twitched. "Are fucking kidding me? This is your pathetic excuse for a reason? No, scratch that. It doesn't even count as an excuse."

He smiled innocently. "What can I say? I can't help myself."

A minute passed by in silence.

"You sadistic fuck."

~ψ~

"Anyway more importantly, Levi," Erwin said as he shuffled through his thick stack of documents. "What do you think?"

After our initial bickering, we had settled down for a cup of coffee and begun talking to each other in a more… civil and professional manner, like the higher-ups we were supposed to be.

"About what?" I asked, my eyes still focused on the statistical charts I was going through.

Erwin put down his cup of coffee. "The rookies. What do you think about them?"

"Same old, same old. All brats are the same." I replied nonchalantly. "Why are you asking me this anyway?"

"I just found this group of rookies to be a bit, well, different from the previous ones. I looked through their files. They were rather… interesting, I must say." Erwin rested his chin on his linked fingers, his face pensive. "Especially that Eren kid."

Sipping my coffee, I looked up at Erwin at the mention of the offending name. "Eren, you say?"

"Yes." Erwin nodded. "Anything I should know about that kid?" Erwin raised an eyebrow.

I averted my eyes. "Well… you could say that we had… um… got off on the wrong foot." Damn, it wasn't like me to speak with thought interjections within my sentences. It was kind of unnerving.

"Oh?" Erwin threw me a knowing glance. "I see. Well, do something about it then, because you'll be working with this kid for a long time. It would do both of you no good to be at odds."

I choked on my coffee. "What. Did. You. Just. Say." My mind went on a mental lockdown. I was going to have to work with this brat? Like, really work with the brat? And not yell orders at him? Or sucker punch him? Or beat the shit out of him when he pisses me off?

"This kid has raised my interest." Erwin said, frustratingly calm. "And I think the two of you would make a good team. Your talents complement each other's perfectly. You two will be working together from now on, and nothing you say will change my mind. Period."

A short moment passed before I finally acknowledged. "Yes, sir. If that's what you say, underboss." I ground out through clenched teeth, my fists balled up tightly in rage. I'm seriously going to kill this guy one day. It's a wonder I haven't killed him already.

"Very good." Erwin smiled brightly at me.

"What the hell?" I sputtered, taking a step back as my right eye twitched. That smile was too radiant for my eyes to handle. It was disturbingly radiant. No matter how many times Erwin did this 'innocent smile' shit, I could never get used to it. Those see-I'm-so-innocent-and-wonderful-I-can't-possibly-be-planning-something-diabolical smiles always came out of nowhere at the most untimely moments. It was creepy.

"Whatever it is, just try to be at least civil with him." Erwin said before dismissing me.

~ψ~

I couldn't be civil with him.

It was four in the morning and I was already awake. And why was I already up? Yes, that's right. Very good, the brat's why. Loud, angry shouts from the hallway could be heard. Two voices could be heard, and one of them was all too familiar. My eyes twitched in annoyance. It's that bastard again. Why is it always him? My eyes seemed to be doing that a lot ever since that shitty brat came along. If I got crow's feet early, I'm pretty sure you know who's fault that'd be.

My fists clenched involuntarily in agitation as I got out of bed and trudged to the hallway. I wasn't a morning person, and anyone who disrupted my sleep would have to face my wrath. Furthermore, I was in a particularly foul mood today. "I'm going to teach that bastard a lesson he'll never forget." I muttered under my breath.

A small crowd of soldiers and rookies had formed a vague semicircle-like shape around an opened room. I stalked towards the room, hearing grunts and thuds as I neared. As I got closer, I got a good view of the culprits guilty of disrupting my precious sleep – Eren, and another brat with pale brown hair whom I recognised to be one of the rookies who had come with me on the job the previous day. I folded my arms and watched in mild interest. I got a good view of the particularly intense fistfight between them, and caught bits of what they were almost incoherently yelling at each other. "You little–" "…quit ogling at my sister!" "…keep interfering!" "…horse-face…keep your perverted eyes off her!"

"Oi."

The brats closest to me turned at the sound of my voice. Once they saw just who, exactly, was standing there with a look that said "I'm already fucking pissed so don't fucking provoke me any more or I swear I will kill you", they cringed in fear and started alerting the rest. They whispered furiously to each other. "Hey… hey… capo Levi is here!"

"What?! Really? Oh shit."

Huh, it seemed my reputation transcended me. The brats were already terrified at the mention of my name. I wonder how that happened.

"Let's get away now before we get caught in the crossfire! Shit's about to get real. Go, go, go!"

Just as they began making a move, I raised my voice and said, "Where do you think you're going?"

The rookies froze. Dread was evident on their faces as some of them fumbled for words to try to explain the situation to me.

"Oh, no need to say anything." I interjected smoothly. "All of you brats just stay right where you are, and watch."

I shoved the rookies aside as I made my way into the room. Eren and the other brat were so focused on each other they didn't even notice me standing right next to them. Before they knew it, I grabbed them both by the head and slammed their heads together. The brats yelped in shock and pain and grunted as they landed on the ground butt first.

"Ah, shit. Damn it that hurt. What the hell was that for, you horse ass!" Eren shouted in fury.

"I could say the same to you, asshat!" The other brat shouted back.

"Oi. Do you brats seriously not see me here at all? When I'm fucking standing right in front of you?" I said. The brats seemed to have not heard me and continued throwing punches at each other, yelling at the same time. Now I was seriously pissed. I grabbed one of the flying fists at the wrist and flipped its owner on his back. Kicking the other brat in the stomach, I pushed him to the ground at the same time and pressed my foot down harder for good measure.

"Now." I said, my voice low. "Do you see me now?" Eren and the other kid gulped. "Do I have to stick myself right in your shitty faces for you to notice that I am right here?"

"N-n-n-n-no, sir." Eren replied, eyes wide.

"Capo Levi! Ah… uh… I can explain…" The other kid stammered.

"You, what's your name?" I asked.

"J-Jean. Jean Kirstein."

"Jean and Eren. You two are on toilet cleaning duty for the rest of the month." I said monotonously.

The two brats faces immediately turned incredulous. "What?! But-"

"I'm not finished." I cut in impatiently. "You two are on toilet cleaning duty for the rest of the month, and, I will have you two paired up for assignments and errands for two months." I finished. "Sounds fair?" I raised an eyebrow, challenging them to protest.

"Yes, sir." They replied simultaneously, resigned with their eyes cast down and a look of defeat.

"Great. Now I can finally get back to sleep. Go back to bed you shitty little assholes. And I'm referring to all of you here. Just fucking go back to bed already."